Kagen no tsuki - Epilogue

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Pairing: KinKi Kids (AU characters)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own KinKi Kids, or anything JE-related
Warnings: bad language, sexual situations, violence
Setting: AU
Multi-Chapter


Intro: What happens after Hikaru's death? Read about it in a series of episodes that go from a few hours after the incident to many, many years...

“There is nothing I can do for you,” Go’s father said reluctantly. “Your foolish, insolent attitude and behaviour will claim your neck.”

“I am sorry, father,” Go said stiffly.

“You are no longer a son of mine,” Kurakawa told him coldly. “You are… nothing but a filthy criminal.”

Go just bowed deeply, before getting up and leaving the room. He sighed. There was still his wife and her mother he had to apologise to. He heard his mother crying and closed his eyes in reluctance. He had brought misery to so many people with his foolish actions. But even though he knew all of that and also that he could not have saved Hikaru, he still felt that he couldn’t have just stood there, doing nothing. With a sad smile on his face, he turned to leave. He stopped, surprised, to see Endo-san in the frame to his former room.

“Go-kun,” Endo said sympathetically. “Be assured that I will take care of our family.”

“Thank you, Endo-san,” Go muttered with a bow. “I would like to apologise to you too.”

“There is no need for that,” Endo told him. “But if you indeed have something to say to me, meet me out on the dried rice field tonight as the sun sets.”

Go stared at him with wide eyes. “But… You shouldn’t… Father will be mad at you.”

“He will be,” Endo agreed, his eyes glittering amusedly, “but merely because he doesn’t even know that he is expecting it of me.”

Go had to smile at that. “Thank you, Endo-san,” he said gratefully. “I will certainly be there.”

With that he left to meet his wife one last time. She was the one he felt most sorry for. Not too long ago she had already lost a dear person and now he had to go and explain to her why she was now losing one again.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“I am so very sorry, Anju-san,” Go choked out.

Mariko had fled the room in tears and he was shaking again as well.

“I’m sorry too,” Anju said sadly. “You would have been a good husband to Mariko and you would have been a good head for this house.”

“I brought nothing but sorrow to you,” Go said miserably.

“You must be the one who is mourning the most right now,” Anju replied. “Crying over the one that you love. I know what it feels like.”

“Thank you,” Go said with a weak smile. “Please, Mariko, I…”

“I will take care of her,” Anju assured him. “Fare well, Go-kun.”

With another short nod, Go turned to leave the house and to meet Endo out on the fields.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Go was lying on the ground, waiting for Endo to meet him. He looked up into a bright blue sky, a warm wind making the air vivid. He closed his eyes, enjoying the silence. Then he frowned. Somehow he felt that he wasn’t alone. He got up, turning around and stopped in surprise.

“What on earth are you doing here?” Go asked, frowning.

“Do you have it?” Katsumi asked him bluntly. “The charm?”

Go blinked at that. “What?”

“Hikaru had a charm once,” Katsumi said exasperatedly. “Do you have it?”

After another second’s hesitation Go pulled the item out from his clothes and presented it to the other boy. As Katsumi saw the little sack, his eyes filled with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked out.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Go demanded.

Katsumi merely grabbed for the charm and Go let him have it. The younger boy started to cry in earnest as he tugged on the cord, opened the little sack and pulled out the wood it held. One big character covered the entire front.

Loss.

Go’s eyes grew wide. “But…” He looked at Katsumi in shock.

*flashback*

“What did you and Kajiyama talk about today?”

“Nothing special.”

As soon as Hikaru had left for his bath Katsumi got up and started searching for the charm Kajiyama had said he had given to Hikaru for strong bondage. He found it easily, pulling it out of his pocket. Swiftly he pulled the cord and opened the fabric, pulling the wood out. Then he grabbed another piece and put it in instead. After arranging the wood in the little sack he wrapped the cord again tightly.

“Make him disappear,” he whispered, then quickly put the item back into Hikaru’s pocket.

*end flashback*

Go’s eyes grew wide. “You did that?” he breathed.

“I’m sorry,” Katsumi choked out. “Really, I am sorry. I mean, I didn’t know that it was supposed to be a gift, but I’m also really sorry that I wanted the curse to hit you.”

*flashback*

“I am not an idiot, Karu. There was no need for you to say anything. I could tell. Always. From the very first time I tried to… touch you. The need in your eyes and the guilty glint whenever you kept me at a comfortable distance. I understood right then that you weren’t interested in me. I guess at first I kept hoping that maybe I could win your heart and make you look my way. But in the end… I guess I was just being selfish, greedily latching onto everything you would offer me and even finding some sort of weird comfort in the fact that you battled with yourself in that inner conflict.” Katsumi’s eyes were shining brightly, his breath coming in short puffs.

“Hikaru, I…” He stared at the boy he loved so much, still fighting back tears.

I have to tell him. That boy might seriously get hurt. But Hikaru, how can I make you understand? I’m sorry I did that, but I love you so much and… will you hate me? Will you hate me if I tell you what I have done?

Then a light seemed to fade in his eyes, as though he had just given up on something vitally important. His voice sounded broken when he spoke again. “I love you,” he simply whispered out.

*end flashback*

“That curse did hit me too,” Go said miserably. “I am a dead man.”

Katsumi bit his lip against fresh tears. “I… I cannot tell you how sorry I am. Kurakawa-san, if I could undo…”

“There is nothing you can do,” Go cut him off. “Believe it or not, in a way I understand what you did and why you did it. If you look at it objectively, I have done the very same thing.”

At that Katsumi stared at the other.

“I love Hikaru so much, I simply couldn’t let go,” Go explained, tears coming to his own eyes again as well. “And look what happened. I brought misery to people that I love, just because of my foolishness. We are quite alike, you and I.”

“No, we’re not,” Katsumi told him. “You wanted to protect him. I was just being selfish. I’m always selfish. First I run and let my family down and then I betray the person I love.”

“If you should feel like making up for anything,” Go said rather softly, “I have a task for you.”

“What task?” Katsumi asked curiously.

“Return to your family, take the place you are supposed to take and marry Mariko and be a good husband for her. Furthermore, I want you to respect all the orders that I have left at my house. Will you do that?”

A longer silence spread between the two men and Katsumi fought back his tears, clearing his throat repeatedly.

“Yes, I will,” he finally stated with a strong voice.

“Thank you,” Go sighed, feeling a little bit relieved. “Hikaru liked you a lot, so I think you must be a good guy. Please be good to my family.”

Katsumi merely nodded and even though Go could not see the motion he knew that this guy was the best choice for his family.

“Will you leave me now?” he requested. “The sun is setting and I… want to be alone.”

“Of course,” Katsumi managed weakly, turning around to leave the scene.

Go sighed as the wind got stronger. He felt reluctant. He was scared. He didn’t want to die. But at least he would die at the hand of someone he loved and respected. Something that was not his right anymore, but a present he tried to relish as much as he could.

“Go-kun,” he heard Endo’s voice behind him.

He smiled softly and got up to face his former teacher.

“So good to see you, Endo-san.”

“Come, sit here, my boy,” Endo said with a sad smile on his face.

Go pulled his sword and sat down on the ground. He felt the other hovering over him, but he knew that Endo would not rush him. He took a deep breath.

Hikaru… I am sorry.

______________________________________________________________________________________

“What business brings you here, young man?” Katsumi’s father asked tightly.

“I have come to tell you that I am sorry that I have caused you so much trouble. I beg your forgiveness,” Katsumi declared, bowing deeply. “I am also here to tell you that I have found a suitable woman that I wish to get married to as soon as possible.”

________________________________________________________________________________________

“Hey, you’re probably not caring about me showing my respects, or anything, but I thought I should come and tell you that I have already submitted my wish to get married to Mariko,” Katsumi said silently, looking at Go’s lifeless figure. “I wonder whether you were in your right mind when you asked me to do that. But be assured that I will honour your every wish. You said if Hikaru liked me, I must be a good guy. Do good guys break into buildings to steal a glimpse at a non-prepared dead person, I wonder. But hey, if I hadn’t, I could not do this,” he added with a sigh. He moved closer to the table Go’s body had been placed on. “Well, you are the one he loved, so you must have been awesome. And he wanted you to have this,” Katsumi continued, pulling out the little charm he had once cursed in order to get rid of Go. “So I’ll respect his wish as well and finally give you what he always wanted you to have.”

The boy swiftly hid the little item in Go’s clothing.

“You had better live up to his expectations, though,” Katsumi resumed his monologue. Then his eyes watered and he choked slightly. “Please, find him. Find him and… be happy.”

With that the boy got up and left.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“And finally,” Katsumi continued to read an official paper, “this statement says that Anju-san will be treated as the head of house. Since it is her house where she lives and that she knows best, she should decide what’s to happen with it.”

Anju looked a bit shocked, but then smiled, shaking her head. “What a stupid kid.” She looked at Katsumi. “Do you respect Kurakawa’s wishes?”

“Yes, I do,” Katsumi nodded firmly. “And I will be a good husband to your daughter.”

______________________________________________________________________________________

“Mariko,” Katsumi called. “Get the children, we want to eat.”

“Yes dear,” Mariko called back, smiling brightly. “Shinichi, Ran, come, we’re gonna have dinner.”

“But… Endo-san hasn’t finished his story yet,” Ran complained with a pout.

“He can tell you the rest after dinner, dear, yes?” Mariko offered.

“But I want to hear it now,” Ran insisted.

“Now, now, young lady,” Endo said with a smile. “Haven’t I taught you that patience is an essential virtue?”

Ran sighed. “Yes,” she dragged out, getting up.

“There you go,” Endo nodded.

“What have you been telling her?” Anju asked.

“Oh, a little story about how it came about that I am here and she is allowed to listen to my stories,” Endo told her with a smile.

“That’s a good story,” Mariko decided. She nodded at Endo, then turned around swiftly to find her other child. “Shinichi, I was talking to you too.”

______________________________________________________________________________________

He was absolutely sure that he had never been so nervous in his entire life. And even though he knew that there was absolutely no need for it, he simply couldn’t help it. This was not a first time for him. Not even close. And yet he found that things were different, just knowing that you had responsibility for another person as well. That, indeed, was new to him. He kept fidgeting with his fingers nervously.

“Oh, there you are.”

He jumped at the voice. He turned around slowly to see one familiar and one new face.

“Really, you shouldn’t wander about around here by yourself. Didn’t I tell you to wait in your room?” the familiar man scolded him slightly.

“S-sorry,” he muttered.

“Well, just don’t go roaming again. Back inside your room, now,” the man ordered. “Now, this is the one I have told you about,” the man explained, pointing at the unfamiliar face, “Domoto Koichi. Work well together, you two.”

With that the man left the two boys standing there, blinking at each other.

“Hi,” Koichi finally offered weakly.

“Hi,” the other replied simply. “I’m Tsuyoshi.”


_______________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Okay. This is it. All of it. Personally I like the ending, but I wonder whether I could make people feel the same I did when I created the last two scenes. As promised, I did make Katsumi-kun happy in the end. He and Mariko are happily marrie, have children and honour Go's wishes and support his ideas even when he is not there anymore to see their effects. Anju-san will be doing quite fine as well, I suppose. Endo-san is certainly as happy with things as he can be. I wonder about Kurakawa senior a little bit. I guess he'll be able to cope, but my sympathy for him isn't too big, so I don't really care too much. ^^" Saito-kun... I think he'll find a way into a higher position at the theatre and lead it one day. As for Hikaru and Go... well... Letting them meet again is all that I could do. I have grown very fond of the two and I want to thank them for supporting me so well throughout this story. If the characters don't look my way, I can't do anything, after all. I wish them the best of luck.

I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to everybody who read all of this! Thank you so much! <3


Chapter 10