Never gonna learn - Chapter 1: As inevitable as unexpected (Part 2)

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

So, here is part 2:



Last time he had called someone at a time like that it had been Sho. He’d…




Argh, dammit




Overly annoyed he dialed a number.
“Uhn, hello?” he heard Nino’s sleepy voice on the other end.
“Hi,” Jun stated simply.
“If you called to say hi,” Nino said angrily, “better not drink your coffee tomorrow, because…”
“Sho kissed me today,” Jun cut in. There was silence at the other end. “On the way from the job back home,” Jun continued. “Suddenly he was all over me.”
“Wow,” Nino dragged out. “That’s… oh Jun, I’m sorry. How are you?”




Jun smiled sadly. “I kissed him back,” he admitted. “I just… why can’t I stop loving that idiot?”
“You don’t stop loving someone just like that,” Nino told him.
“It doesn’t have to be just like that,” Jun told him. “He broke my heart, he kept being distant, he had others, even right in front of me… isn’t any of that enough to make it go away?”
Nino sighed. “Jun… you’re not out somewhere doing stupid stuff, are you?”
“I’m at home,” Jun reassured his friend. “In bed. I just… couldn’t sleep.”
“I don’t know how I could help you,” Nino stated rather helplessly.
“No, I… I didn’t call for any kind of help,” Jun explained. “I just had to tell someone. Just, you know…”
“It’s fine,” Nino assured him. “I understand.”




Jun sighed. “Thanks. I just wish I could simply forget about all of this. It would make things so much easier.”
“Yeah, absolutely,” Nino agreed. “But… we’re here for you. If you need anything.”
“I know,” Jun said, a small smile coming to his face. “Thanks.”
Then he started when there was a knock on his door. He blinked. Then he rolled his eyes. He thought it must be Kishimoto-kun, his neighbor, who had once again locked himself out of his apartment. He did that. Repeatedly. Jun had his spare key, so the young man wouldn’t have to sleep in the hallway if that happened, because normally, when it did Kishimoto was too drunk to call the key service. And so Jun got up to open the door.
“I’m still sorry to bother you with this,” Jun continued to talk to Nino.




“No, it’s okay,” Nino told him once more. “Do you want me to talk to Sho about it? I could.”
“I know,” Jun sighed. “But I think it’s better if none of you get involved in this. It’s complicated enough as it is.”
“I guess so,” Nino agreed. “So… do you want to do anything?”
“What ever should I do?” Jun asked.
“Well, when you kissed him back and feel reluctant about it now, there are definitely issues between the two of you to be solved.”
“He caught me off guard,” Jun said and hoped that he sounded convincing. “I won’t let it…”
Jun had reached the door and opened it. There in the frame stood Sho and before Jun could even gasp in surprise Sho flew at him and kissed him with mad passion. And that was it. Jun gave up. He couldn’t hold his feelings back any longer – not to mention his urges as he felt Sho’s hand groping his ass boldly.
“Fuck yeah,” he sighed, as he rubbed his groin against Sho’s urgently.




They stumbled back into Jun’s apartment and Sho only just found the wits to slam the door shut behind them. As soon as that was done Jun pressed forward and against Sho, pinning him against the door.
He found his right hand disturbingly occupied and quickly dismissed his phone to the small cupboard right next to the door. Jun couldn’t remember if he’d actually hung up, but he couldn’t care less. There might have been a faint insecure voice in the distance.
“Er… Jun?”
It didn’t matter, though. All that mattered to him was Sho, right in front of him, drunken with lust and so deliciously close, he was simply irresistible.
“Jun, I’m sorry,” Sho muttered against Jun’s ear, his breath giving Jun shivers in all the right places. “I just couldn’t stay away. Please don’t hate me for wanting you.”




Jun chuckled. “Isn’t it enough if you hate yourself for it?”
“My feelings for you are stronger than that, though,” Sho whispered. “And it’s really not about sex.”
Jun grinned. He craned his neck a bit to grace Sho’s earlobe with his lips as he whispered to him.
“Pity – I want to fuck you so bad.”
His heart hammered in his chest like mad as he felt an answering grin against his neck.
“I don’t get fucked,” Sho told him.
“Oh, you will, tonight,” Jun assured him.




That said Jun claimed Sho’s lips with his own again, starting another heated, if clumsy kiss. Sho answered readily, kissing him hard and when Jun felt eager hands venturing under his shirt he moaned in delight, leaning into that contact. His own fingers gripped the shirt under Sho’s jacket, indicating that he wanted skin contact. The message was obviously understood, because Sho instantly started to pry his jacket right off. At the same time he wiggled his feet so he could dispose of his loose sitting boots as well. They were left lying there carelessly, the jacket soon dismissed to the floor, forgotten, as Jun’s hands insistently pulled on Sho’s shirt, bringing it up, revealing skin that he wanted to taste immediately, but he found the shirt got caught around Sho’s neck and it was too bothersome to try to get it out of the way. He wanted skin. Now. So he changed tactics and went straight for the belt buckle in front of him. He opened it in hurried moves, then loosened the button and pulled the zipper. Jun felt Sho’s nails scraping over the skin of his small in anticipation. He could sympathize too, he wanted to feel Sho so bad it almost drove him mad. His fingers were clumsy as they tugged at pants and boxers and he didn’t even know how it actually worked out, but finally he had a half-hard cock in his hand and he started to pump it right away, roughly, with intent.




“Uhng, Jun,” Sho breathed against Jun’s lips.
Jun grinned. Sho’s hips were moving, rubbing his dick into the hand that stroked him, seeking more contact and apparently not caring that he wouldn’t last two minutes if he kept the pace up. Jun found he really didn’t care, though. It was so hot to have Sho against him like that, moving wantonly, sighing his name in lust.
“So ready,” Jun muttered.
He didn’t mean it teasingly. It was merely stating a fact. His fist was working Sho’s member furiously and said member was already leaking and Sho had his eyes closed in concentration, already too close, but also too far gone to care. Jun decided that it would be better to get the first tension out of the way, otherwise further activities might become too short lived. So he kept his rhythm up and Sho was only too happy to get to release the pressure building in his body. His hips moved in quick jerks, taking pleasure from the stroking hand, going faster with every thrust and Jun could feel the dick in his hand twitching, growing thick and dark with the blood swelling it until it felt like it was about to burst. And it was, Jun knew it, anticipated it, waited for it. He gasped in surprise when one of Sho’s hands came up to support him against the door, the movements against him growing frantic. And then in happened. Sho groaned, his head falling forward with his forehead resting against Jun’s shoulder and Jun could feel hot breath against his neck and the twitching dick in his hand and the sticky liquid that smeared his hand and he moaned at the feeling of Sho’s come on his fingers.
“Jun…”




Once again, his name, from those lips. Then the man against him moved again, slightly away from him and eyes were staring back at him, full of lust, but also satisfaction and… what was that? Jun couldn’t really put his finger on it.
“Wow, that was fast,” he teased, trying to avoid any kind of awkwardness that might come up between them. He vaguely cleaned his fingers on Sho’s shirt. It was Sho’s jizz, after all, so why not put it back on him?
“Well, you weren’t exactly patient yourself,” Sho answered. “And you wanted to finish it, don’t try to pretend you didn’t.”
“So you won’t shoot just five minutes into it,” Jun countered.
“Mh,” Sho hummed.
His head moved forward again, his lips gracing Jun’s neck and Jun was more than happy to grant him easy access. Next he gasped as Sho’s hand went straight to his crotch to fondle him through his pants.
“Feels like you’re quite excited yourself,” Sho muttered.
“Feel free to do something about it,” Jun offered.




When Sho pulled back to look at him again he wanted to grab his neck and pull his head right back where it had been, so Sho’s lips cold continue their wonderful assault on the sensitive skin behind his ear. He stood his ground, though – at least until Sho grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the door and into the apartment. The pants around his hips made his steps look funny, but Jun really didn’t care. He was too curious to learn how Sho planned to get him off. As they made their way through the hallway and the kitchen, they pulled on each other’s clothes, finally getting rid of their shirts, leaving a trail of clothes as they went. Jun sighed as Sho pulled him into his arms, feeling up Jun’s back and sides.




The body in front of him looked more than tempting too, so Jun tested the texture of the chest and also the abs in front of him. Sho was not the best-trained among them and Jun was quite surprised at how soft Sho’s hips felt. Sho’s lips were back on his body and he wanted to sing with the joy of it. Kissing and licking around his collar bone, moving to his shoulder, while hands stroked down his torso. Feeling daring Jun wanted to get a first feeling of the ass he had announced he wanted to fuck and so his hands curved around the hips in front of him and ventured to grope the full cheeks on Sho’s behind. Before he could get a good feeling of them, though, his hands pushed Sho’s pants down further, so they blocked Sho’s steps, making him trip.




“You okay?” Jun asked. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Sho assured him.
With that he pushed Jun against the counter of his kitchen isle and, instead of adjusting his pants so they could move on, let his body slide to the floor as gracefully as it would with jeans hanging around his hips. Jun didn’t voice a sound of complaint, though, as he felt Sho fumbling with his pants, opening them a lot more effectively than he had done with Sho’s before, but then, he was seeing what he was doing, so that was a clear advantage. For a second Jun hated himself for still being in competition mode in their current situation, but then everything was forgotten, because there was a hand on his dick and there were eyes on his again and he knew that this was not going to be a hand-job and just the thought made him that much harder. He heard a soft chuckle.
“Here’s the deal,” Sho’s dark voice reached his ears, “I’ll do it, if you ask me to.”
That seemed rather fair a deal to Jun. He brought a hand up to reach into Sho’s hair, stroking it for a moment, before grasping him around the neck and pulling slightly.
“Suck me,” he said softly.




He wasn’t sure if that was sufficient, or if Sho would tease him, maybe try to extract a plea from him, but no such thing happened. Sho merely gave him a knowing smile and went right to work. Jun gasped at the sensation that suddenly worked his body. The sight was still even more of a turn on than the mouth which was only teasing the head of his cock. Sho still held his gaze and he gave the softest suck, making sure it would be audible and Jun was completely lost and finally gave up. He broke their gaze as his eyes closed. Sho gave up the teasing in that same moment. Jun felt the hot mouth on him working enthusiastically, sucking him in deep from the beginning. He grinned to himself. So Sakurai Sho knew how to deep throat – if that didn’t say a lot about a lifestyle.




Jun gave into the sensations, his hand finding the back of Sho’s head, stroking the hair there to show his appreciation. And Sho was apparently not done just yet. Jun felt his pants being tugged further down and then a hand cupped his balls, massaging them slowly. Oh yes, someone definitely knew what they were doing down there and Jun was so going to confront Sho about it, but right then and there he could only gasp when the hand slid behind his balls, between his legs and around to his ass, groping there and pulling him even deeper into the mouth that was still sucking him so wonderfully.
“Fuck, Sho,” Jun heaved out.
His hand changed its position as well, gripping Sho’s scalp hard, tugging at the hair. He had acted on impulse and for a second he feared that Sho might pull back and complain to him. However, Sho showed no sign of reluctance, which would be something else to talk about, but that too would have to wait, because dammit, that bastard had found his rim and teased it just right and Jun groaned, his head falling back as his hips started to move against the mouth that was working him.
“Mh, more,” Jun demanded.




The fact that it was Sho who was sucking him off like that just added to his lust. Sho. On the floor. Opening his mouth for Jun. Letting him move his need out of his body without a complaint. Jun forced his eyes back open to get another good look and the sight was already more than he could take. Jun gasped and Sho read the signs right and sped up his efforts, bringing his second hand up as well to fondle Jun’s balls again. And that was it, Jun’s hips started to jerk, his hands gripped Sho’s shoulders for support as he felt his orgasm roll over him in heated waves, shooting his seed out in spurts and fuck, Sho was swallowing. Another long moan sounded from Jun’s throat as he rode it out, feeling all of his muscles contracting so deliciously he had difficulties standing his ground, literally.




But Sho was there yet again, holding him up with both hands around Jun’s hips now, supporting him and so Jun merely enjoyed the warm feeling, the delicious contractions and the twitching of his dick that was still deep in Sho’s mouth. A number of slow sucks gave him a pleasant down before Sho pulled back, just to take his dick in hand and give it some additional soothing licks. Jun took a few deep heaves of air, trying to calm his breathing. As he looked down towards Sho again he found the other’s eyes burning back at him. There was some embarrassment in them, probably because he had revealed a lot to Jun, maybe more than he had intended, but there was also a smile on his lips that showed he was pretty satisfied with himself and the performance he had just pulled off.




“Thank you,” Jun stated simply. His hand stroked Sho’s hair softly, his fingers finding Sho’s ear and rubbing the lobe affectionately. Sho made a sound that was close to a purr and he graced Jun’s hip with a soft kiss before he moved back into a standing position. Jun gasped as their eyes met again, the look in Sho’s eyes making him feel scared in a way he couldn’t quite grasp. Then there was a sweet smile on those full lips and Jun felt his heart hammering in his chest madly. Just as he was about to close his eyes to be swept away by another breathtaking kiss Sho’s voice pulled him out of his frenzy.
“Is it okay?”
Jun blinked. “Sorry?”
Sho’s eyes were still full of affection. Jun wondered if Sho even realized that he had his guard down completely, or whether maybe he did it all on purpose to stun Jun.
“I happen to know that not everybody appreciates being kissed by someone who just had their come in their mouth, so…”




Jun blinked for a moment. Then he shook his head.
“Sho… what kind of jerks have you been doing?” he asked bluntly. “I mean, really, being serviced, having you drink it and then being picky about the taste of it – how low is that?”
“So you don’t mind?” Sho asked, avoiding Jun’s point.
“No, I don’t mind,” Jun told him. “I do mind the cold stone plate ramming into my hip, though,” he continued. “And I don’t like the feeling of my pants around there. I think it’s going to cut off my blood stream sometime soon.”
“Okay,” Sho sighed as he detached himself from Jun, “why don’t we get rid of everything that can get in the way?”
That said he pulled his clothes down in one go, revealing himself to Jun and Jun definitely liked the view. He watched as Sho very discretely got rid of his socks before stepping out of his clothes and he felt slightly relieved, seeing that Sho was still feeling a bit vain not wanting Jun to see him in an unbecoming state. He appreciated it too. A man in nothing but socks wasn’t the most appealing sight. As Sho straightened himself and presented himself in full nakedness Jun started to wonder if he should really go further than they already had. A rushed quickie to release the tension between them was a simple enough thing. But now that said tension was gone, was it okay to take things to his bed without the excuse of their lust-hazed minds?




Before Jun could utter a word of doubt, though, he felt Sho’s fingers curling around his neck, pulling him forward just slightly. Sho pressed his naked body against Jun to let him know that he apparently was not done just yet and then his lips were on Jun’s. For the second time within minutes Jun felt his knees going weak, because that kiss was nothing like hurried lust, it was slow at first and then deep and sensual, coercing Jun into a game that was definitely too intimate for the situation they were in. Jun couldn’t have cared less, though. He’d dreamt of being kissed like that. Not by Sho, at least not specifically, but generally. Sho was granting him a kiss he’d been longing for forever and Jun found he wanted it, he wanted more, he wanted all of it and if Sho would give it to him, only for one night, he would still happily accept it and then remember it, always and fondly.




He sighed as he succumbed to the kiss, his arms wrapping around Sho’s neck, participating in the kiss with more drive, while still keeping it affectionate rather than heated. Even so the feelings went straight to his head again, making it spin and he found he was already lacking air again, but there was no way he would let go of those wonderful lips just yet. Sho’s hands were stroking his sides almost lovingly before they went around his form and gripped him with more force again, picking him up from the ground by his buttocks. Jun voiced his approval and wrapped his legs around Sho’s form, seeking body contact again. He still had his pants half-on, but it didn’t really matter as Sho wandered off towards the bedroom with Jun wrapped around him. They never stopped their kiss, Jun just blindly reaching out behind him as his back hit his bed room door and opening it with a practiced move. Only when Sho made to kneel down on the bed they lost their balance and Jun fell back onto the bed, looking up at Sho kneeling over him. He still remembered that he had announced to give Sho a ride, but then, the body in front of him looked so good and he would definitely enjoy a good ride himself. Plus, he had time – and constitution, so he decided to just move along with what felt good.




When Sho tugged Jun’s pants down his legs he felt relieved, as if the clothes had kept him from truly feeling not just Sho, but also himself. When they were both finally fully naked, Jun robbed into place and pulled Sho down by his shoulder and onto his body. Jun’s dick twitched just a little at Sho’s heartfelt moan as he slid his body against Jun’s, giving both of them shivers in all the right places. Jun was more than delighted. It had been a while since he’d engaged in intimate bodily activities and getting to do it with Sho was just that much more brilliant. People often said that when you keep imagining something over and over the actual thing will disappoint you, should it come to pass, but he found that this encounter was everything he had ever imagined. And then, suddenly it was so much more than that, making Jun gasp in pure awe as he felt his body being appreciated.




Instead of pressing Jun right into the mattress and rubbing himself against him for friction, Sho kept their contact light, only brushing against Jun every so often while his nose and lips graced Jun’s cheek, neck, shoulder with kisses and nips. And Jun loved every second of it. He was used to being the one who does the deeds to get a smooth pair of legs to open up for him. Being on the receiving end really did come with advantages. He brought his right leg up, rubbing his thigh suggestively against Sho’s hip, letting him know that he would be rewarded if he did well. Sho got the message swiftly too, his left arm supporting him on his elbow while his right hand moved to smooth up and down Jun’s side, his fingers stroking Jun’s skin and making it tingle.
“Sho…”




The name of his lover swept over Jun’s lips in a hushed rush and he blushed at his inability to keep control over his body. With that, as if the word had a spell broken, Jun’s body reacted happily to every stimulation it received. Muscles twitching, goose bumps prickling his skin, hands coming to life on Sho’s back, smoothing over the broad range of warm skin, up and down and then Jun’s leg moved again, leaning outwards to give Sho easier access as he moved down Jun’s body slowly. Jun arched his back just lightly and Sho understood the invitation and attached his mouth to one of the pink nipples that were perking up from Jun’s chest so invitingly. The younger man gasped at the contact and pressed himself into it further.




Sho’s deep chuckle vibrated through his body, making it thrum deliciously. He loved every second of it and Sho took is time, exploring all of the body that was presented to him. He even found Jun’s ticklish spot on his right side, just under his rib cage. Jun was glad when Sho was happy enough with his discovery and didn’t tease. Apparently he found a new exciting spot to make himself familiar with every passing second, kissing and licking and sometimes he would wrap his lips around a patch of skin and suck on it, just once, but hard – a practice thus far unknown to Jun, but he could definitely get used to it. All of him was just singing with the pleasure he was receiving, he didn’t even concentrate enough to realize that he was hard again. Only when Sho grabbed his dick and stroked it too lightly to really do anything for him he found that he was indeed in need again. Sho’s head moved down towards him, lips gracing Jun’s ear sweetly as a deep voice whispered to him.
“Let me feel you.”




Jun was sure his legs were shaking from the intensity of it all, but he moved them willingly, allowing Sho to finally slide down onto him fully. The low moan that escaped Sho made Jun’s hips jerk just a bit and that got them started, sliding against each other, frotting just to get the feel of it. Sho always knew when to change patterns so he wouldn’t tease, but stimulate in all the right places.
“Jun… You feel so good,” Sho breathed out, his voice lost somewhere between their bodies. “Let me have you.”
Jun sighed happily. “Drawer,” he mumbled.
Sho detached himself just enough to reach the handle of the night stand drawer. He pulled just a bit too harshly, almost dislocating it, but neither of them cared. Sho fumbled around a bit. His fingers grabbed lube first, throwing it right onto the bed. Then he managed to fish out a condom as well. He opened the package hurriedly and applied the item. Then a determined hand grabbed the lube again, opened the bottle and smeared Sho’s dick thoroughly.
“Are you loose?” he asked.
“Pretty much,” Jun stated.




There was no reason to lie about it. And the fact that it was all due to toys – who cared about that?
“So, is it okay like this?” Sho wanted to know.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Jun decided. “Just come here already, I want you in me.”
Sho stopped for a moment, taking in the picture in front of him. Jun made sure to make a show of it, lying in front of the other, hard, needy, legs spread wide. Then Sho moved, forward, crawling back on top of Jun, pushing his legs back further. Not that Jun would have minded, in fact he enjoyed a good stretch. Talking about stretch, Sho positioned himself at Jun’s entrance and pushed in, slowly, but with drive, not letting up when Jun cramped a bit. Jun screwed his eyes shut. He hadn’t felt the burn in a while. In a way it was strangely satisfying. It was only when his eyes opened again and met Sho’s that he fully understood what was happening. Sho was in him, he could feel him shift just slightly and they were going to fuck and he knew that it was going to be brilliant.
“Uh, Sho,” Jun sighed.




His breath hitched as Sho gave a first shallow thrust, their eyes still glued to each other. It was too much, too intimate, if he didn’t watch out he’d get lost. He leaned his head to the side, trying to avoid those eyes that were doing the most disturbing things to him. Sho’s hand came up to keep him in place, though. Jun swallowed, utterly lost. Then Sho pulled his head up just a bit while he dipped down and then they were kissing again. Sho’s tongue was something he could latch onto, so Jun engaged in the kiss, he relaxed into it, even more so when Sho started to stroke his side with deft fingers. It was in that moment Sho decided to start moving and Jun found he couldn’t do anything but hold onto the other, moan out his passion and move back into the hips that were pushing that full cock into him again and again, making him feel so full, so complete, for a moment making him feel he couldn’t exist anymore without Sho connected to him like that.
“You are wonderful,” Sho whispered to him.




Jun smiled, grasping the back of Sho’s head and pulling him against the crook of his neck in which Sho buried his face willingly, lapping at the skin there every now and then. Jun enjoyed the panting breath against his skin and ear. It gave him an idea of Sho’s excitement, growing with every move. He didn’t mind at all that Sho was silent for the main part. On the contrary, it was enjoyable and it showed that Sho was so concentrated on him and what they were doing, even voicing was immaterial. Just once Sho dragged out a low moan when Jun sped up the pace on his own accord. He grinned for a second. Then he whispered to Sho.
“It’s okay to come.”
Sho gasped slightly at that, but he was obviously relieved, because his movements instantly grew more hurried and his thrusts harder, seeking deeper access. Jun groaned, it already felt too good. He couldn’t keep silent, the intensity of the sensations too strong. Sho stroked his prostate every now and then and whenever he did a soft whine would escape Jun’s lips.
“Fuck,” Sho cursed. “So good… so hot… so…”




He rutted against Jun like mad, driving in without holding back. Jun could feel he was close. His hips were starting to jerk slightly, making his movements less fluid, they were tense from the strained muscles and Sho made a choked sound as he tried to change his angle. Jun took a deep breath and went into that extra stretch, opening himself wider and Sho gasped as he was suddenly balls deep in and that’s where he released, fucking Jun mercilessly as he rode out his orgasm. His hips kept moving in hurried, tiny thrusts, even after the main waves subsided as if he couldn’t stop himself from driving in again and again, not wanting it to end. At some point the movements grew slower, though, and Sho sighed in deep satisfaction.
“Mh, Jun,” he mumbled against Jun’s shoulder.
He snuggled his body against the man lying under him and Jun let him rest a bit and enjoy his afterglow.




“So you had fun, then?” he asked teasingly after a while.
Sho chuckled at that. He lifted his upper body up to look at Jun.
“I did.”
“Well, that’s good,” Jun smiled. “Just… it’s getting very… intense, if you know what I mean.”
Sho nodded and quickly pulled back, removing himself from Jun’s body. He felt slightly reluctant, but then, their encounter had been more than pleasing. Sho quickly got rid of the condom, discarding it into the dust bin. Jun didn’t really like that, because that bin was for paper only, but he could deal with that some other time. For the time being he reveled in the fact that Sho pulled him close to his body and stroked him lovingly.
“So, what do you want?” Sho asked.
“Aw, you know what I want,” Jun said teasingly. “I told you before.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Sho informed him.
“Oh, but it is,” Jun opposed. “I put out, then you put out.”
“That’s not how it works,” Sho insisted.




“Okay, how about we make another deal,” Jun suggested. “Let me… give you an idea. And if you like it, I get to pound that admirable ass of yours.”
Sho looked a bit sceptic, but seemed to feel safe enough, so he nodded his head.
“Fine,” he agreed.
Jun grinned at him. “Oh, you’re gonna love this.”
“Am I?” Sho asked, sounding daring.
“Lie down here,” Jun instructed. “On your stomach.”
Sho still seemed uncertain about the situation, so Jun stroke down his back reassuringly.
“If you don’t like what I’m doing, we can stop and try something else,” Jun suggested.
That seemed to ease Sho as he nodded and placed himself with his stomach on the bed.
“Ah,” Jun dragged out, “a bit more like… this.”




Sho gasped as Jun pulled his hips up to make sure he’s get good access.
“Okay, I don’t think I like this.”
“That doesn’t count,” Jun argued.
“But you…”
“Will you relax already,” Jun urged. “I don’t do this for everyone, you know. So you had better appreciate it.”
“Fine, then, get on with it,” Sho decided.




He flinched once more as he felt Jun pulling his cheeks apart, but Jun didn’t give him another opportunity to oppose or discuss anything, he simply dove forward and attached his mouth right to the opening in front of him. He hadn’t done this in a very long time and he found that his tongue was meeting tight resistance, but even so he kept working the hole insistently, trying to sneak his way past the tight ring of muscles, making it twitch. He could hear Sho gasping again, but he heard not another word of complaint. Jun grinned. He knew how intense the sensations could be and if he believed Sho’s words he hadn’t received a lot of stimulation in that area and it suited Sho’s character to find guys to fuck, but not letting them have him in that same way. It gave Jun an extra thrill, thinking that he would be allowed just that. He would make sure he would. His tongue was already hurting, but he really wanted to get that job done decently. He changed his technique a bit, wrapping his lips around the rim and sucking at it repeatedly.




“Oh my god, Jun, I…” Sho gasped and he shoved his hips back, seeking more contact.
Jun wanted to see his face so badly in that moment, eyes filled with lust while his face flushed with the embarrassment of being unable to conceal the pleasure he was feeling. Just a bit more and he was certain that Sho would let him do anything, just to make sure that the feeling won’t stop. Jun put his everything into it, lips and tongue, finally carefully forcing his way into the passage, darting his tongue in until it felt numb.
“Fuck…”
Sho’s sigh was almost a whisper, but it reached Jun’s ears almost too clearly and he knew that he had to make his move. He detached himself from that inviting behind, his hands smoothing over its skin as he slid his entire body over Sho’s. He placed a number of light kisses on Sho’s shoulder blade, ignoring the slight whining sounds from below him. Only when he rested his groin right on Sho’s ass, letting the other feel his renewed hardness and felt Sho react immediately by moving back against him, he whispered against Sho’s ear.
“If you let me have you, it’ll be even better,” Jun promised.
“Ungh…” Sho moaned.




Jun let one of his hands slip down and between Sho’s cheeks, wiggling one finger right back in. When he added another one Sho whined a bit and shifted away from him, though.
“Jun, I really, don’t know if I really want…”
“You do,” Jun told him evenly. He wasn’t sure if his next move would work out, it was risky, but then, he’d tried slow and sensual as well as seductive. So he decided to try one more thing. “You want it,” he insisted. “I know it. And this stupid act ends right now. I’m going to say this very clearly now, okay? You want it. I’m fucking horny. And I am not going to keep asking nicely. Do you understand?”
For a moment silence hung heavily between them and Jun was for just a split-second tempted to simply not wait for the permission and get on with it no matter what, but he knew he would regret not waiting for the other and he didn’t have to wait long. Sho sighed deeply and Jun could feel how he was rubbing his hard-on against the mattress to release some tension.
“Then do it already,” Sho finally decided.
“With pleasure,” Jun answered.




He fished around the open drawer and pulled out another condom, then grabbed the lube that was still lying on the bed. He detached himself as little as possible from Sho’s form – to keep the contact between them, not to keep Sho in place so he could not escape. He got himself ready quickly and made sure Sho’s passage was slippery.
“Do you want to turn around?” Jun asked.
“No,” Sho grunted out. “Just… do it already.”
Jun grinned. Still being proud. But that was fine with him. He would enjoy this. With just a few more shifts he positioned himself and then he started to push in. Slowly. Carefully. He could feel Sho tensing up a bit, but he didn’t shy away from Jun, so he just took it slow and started to move easily.
“I can’t believe,” Jun whispered to Sho, “that I’m actually in you. You said you never had anyone do this to you… is that really true?”
He hadn’t thought about letting his guard down like that, but he didn’t regret it, not even when he could hear the grin on Sho’s lips.
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna shoot right away if I tell you you’re the first.”




“Am I?” Jun insisted. “Am I really?”
“I don’t really know how to answer this,” Sho pressed out as he wiggled his hips insistently, “seeing how we’re doing very little fucking yet.”
Jun understood that those words were the best answer he would get from Sho and they fueled the fire inside him. He started to move more urgently, making Sho gaps as he slid in deeper still.
“Does it feel good?” Jun asked.
“What, fishing for compliments now?”
Sho had aimed for a biting remark, probably to get Jun to shut up and just fuck him, but his voice was pressed and the way he kept moving his hips so Jun would brush that spot inside him that made his legs go slightly weak revealed his overly aroused state.
“No, I… fuck, you feel good…”




Jun sighed, his pace getting faster as he drove himself into the other’s body, reveling in the tight heat that would definitely soon be his undoing. Sho wasn’t as silent as before, when he had fucked Jun. When the angle changed, or Jun aimed for a rather hard thrust, Sho would emit the most delicious sounds and how Jun wanted to eat them from his lips.
“Sho… Please, I… want to see you…”
Jun slowed his movements, waiting for an answer. When none came, Jun sighed, but before he could get back into their rhythm, Sho bucked back against him and lifted his body from the bed. Jun, surprised by the sudden movement, grasped Sho around the waist, but Sho kept pressing back until Jun lost his balance and fell backwards onto the bed. Sho moved with him, almost sitting on Jun now, but still facing away from him. He struggled a bit with the position, but slowly managed to turn around on Jun’s lap to face him as he straddled his lover’s hips.
“Is this okay?” he asked. “Or is it that you want me on my back?”




Jun looked into his eyes and found that he was lost for words. Sho was… everything he could have imagined. Naked. Hard – over being fucked. And he didn’t look ashamed in the slightest. He even wiggled his hips to indicate that he wanted to get moving again soon.
“Oh, this is more than sufficient,” Jun finally answered. “If I could just have you a bit closer, it would be perfect.”
Sho smiled down at him and lowered himself, so their bodies were in contact. It took some of the depth of the intrusion, but that hardly seemed to matter to Sho, as long as the angle was right. Jun pushed his hips up and Sho opened up wider to give him better access. Their faces were mere inches apart and they panted onto each other, their eyes locked.
“Ah, Jun…”




Sho groaned when Jun grabbed his ass and pulled his cheeks apart so he could go deeper again. He was already close and as he saw Sho’s cock swaying between them he was pretty sure the other wanted to come again as well.
“Beat it,” he moaned out.
“Oh, you like to watch?” Sho grinned, even though his cheeks were deeply flushed as well. “Give me some space?”
Jun nodded and let Sho straighten himself up again. And Sho pulled off a show for him. First he licked his index finger, then he sucked on it, looking straight at Jun, making him moan. When he was done he placed the finger just between his pectoral muscles and drove it down his torso slowly, teasing his belly just a bit before curling into some of his pubic hair and only then his hand would reach around his swollen dick and stroke it. It looked too overwhelming.




“Yeah, rub it,” Jun urged.
He felt himself getting close by the second. And he absolutely could not come before the other.
“Uhn,” Sho sighed.
“That’s it,” Jun said in a strained voice. “Yeah, you feel it, don’t you? Come on… come…” Over an unexpected impulse he slapped Sho’s buttock once, twice, making the man gasp. “Let me see it,” Jun kept urging.




Sho kept jerking off and soon Jun could feel he was close. He stopped moving against Jun and concentrated on his hand, making his movements quicker and concentrating on the head of his dick. His legs started twitching and then his mouth opened in an inaudible gasp as his seed shot out, soiling his hand and Jun’s torso. Jun brought up his hand to feel it and moaned at the feel of the sticky liquid. He was surprised with himself. He never was a sucker for jizz, but having Sho’s essence on him did something to him and his hips started jerking, making Sho whine slightly. It was probably uncomfortable to be fucked like that but Jun was beyond caring, he was so close, so close, just a few more thrusts and with a guttural moan he buried himself deep inside the other as he came, head thrown back, hips snapping, arms going limp as he rode it all out. Sho sighed in relief when Jun’s movements stopped.
“Sorry,” Jun panted out.
Sho’s hand stroked over Jun’s hip affectionately.
“It’s fine,” he assured the other. “But if you can… get out?”




Jun nodded and detached himself carefully from Sho’s body. He quickly disposed of the condom and… wasn’t sure what to do next. What should they do now that they had gotten all the tension out? Before he could do anything, though, or ask any stupid questions, Sho grabbed him and pulled him down onto the bed. Jun was surprised to find Sho’s body wrapped around his own the second later, stroking his back and… what – cuddling him? It felt a bit weird, but Sho’s body was warm against his and hearing his breathing evening out gave Jun an inner tranquility that he hadn’t felt in a long time, so he simply let himself be engulfed in the situation. They could still get back on track in the morning.




~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Jun woke up to sunlight on his face as he shifted in his bed. He screwed his eyes shut tightly to try to shut the bright light out. Then he shifted again with a deep sigh. As he reached out his arm, he found that the bed was empty next to him. He then blinked his eyes open. Taking a look around the empty room, he sighed. Just what could be expected of Sho.
“Hey.”
Jun jumped as he turned towards the door. There in the frame stood Sho, fully dressed, hair still slightly wet from a shower he had probably taken.
“I see you’ve already made yourself decent,” Jun mumbled.
“As well as I can while I’m not at home,” Sho shrugged.
He seemed almost ridiculously indifferent. It ripped a hole right into Jun’s heart. His face hardened, though.
“Well, if you’re done, I guess you can get back home to make yourself actually decent.”
“Do I still look array?” Sho asked. “If so, that’s your fault.”




“You were the one who kissed me,” Jun reminded him.
Even though you knew how easily I’ll fall for you.




“You were the one who came here,” Jun continued.
Even though you said you felt sorry for coming.




“You were the one who followed me into my bed,” Jun spat at the other.
And then sneaked out of it again before morning.




“I’m not saying it’s your fault,” Sho tried to explain, but that only made Jun angrier.
“No, it’s not. You… you came and you… used me.”
Sho looked at him evenly. “Why are you saying that now?”
“Well, aren’t you ready to get going already?” Jun asked bitingly. “Why, I hope you feel like you acted decent, waiting for me to wake up, so I can watch you leave. How very… adult.”
“Jun…”
“You meant to leave as soon as I got up, didn’t you?” Jun wanted to know.
“I don’t know what was expected of me,” Sho said flatly. “I just took a shower and got dressed. And yes, I need to get going too. Why is that a problem?”
“It’s not,” Jun told him.
“Well, then… good,” Sho concluded.




“I knew,” Jun sighed. “I knew it would be like this.”
“You’re making it like this,” Sho told him.
“Yeah, sorry for being such a child. Well, you don’t need to stay and watch me getting all pouty.”
“You know,” Sho bit out, “you really are acting childish. If you didn’t want it, you could have said so. But you wanted to get your hands into my pants so bad you simply forgot all of your reservations. Sorry if you’re unhappy with the result, but I can’t do anything about that.”
“I won’t be asking you to do anything, not to worry,” Jun said, his voice tight.
“Perfect. Well then, I’m out,” Sho decided. And with that he turned around and left the room. Not a minute later Jun could hear the door to his apartment closing.
“Jerk,” Jun swore.
He grabbed for his phone, but found it was not on his bed side table. Then he remembered.




On the cupboard in the hall.




He sighed as he got up to pick up his phone. Nino’s name was still on the display and for lack of brain activity, Jun simply pressed the re-dial.
“Jun… what now?” Nino wanted to know as he picked up. He sounded sleepy. Again- Or maybe still.
“I… I had sex with him,” Jun finally revealed.
“No way,” Nino blurted out. “No, sorry, I…”
“No, I know what you’re saying,” Jun sighed. “Just what was I thinking? Well, it’s hard to think when Sho’s all over you. Still, I should have shown better judgement. Such things disrupt our dynamics. Now I won’t be able to look at Sho for weeks.”
“Why not?” Nino asked. “I mean, okay, so it wasn’t exactly smart, but then… why make it a big deal? It was just sex, right?”
Jun’s heart throbbed painfully at that piece of reality thrown at him.
“Yeah,” he finally breathed out. “Of course it was just sex. You know Sho. He doesn’t get involved.”




“What about you?” Nino asked directly. “Are you involved?”
“Don’t be stupid,” Jun bit at him, regretting it already a second later, “you can’t be involved by yourself.”
“You know what I mean,” Nino told him. “Any feelings?”
Jun laughed bitterly at that. “All of them,” he admitted. “But there’s nothing to be done. This morning, after cleaning up Sho was already out the door.”
Nino sighed. “Jun… if you need to talk, you know, in person, privately… just let me know.”
“Thanks,” Jun answered. “It’ll be fine. I’ll just need some time to get the indifference back.”
“Sure,” Nino agreed half-heartedly. “But really, he just left?”
“He did,” Jun confirmed, his voice bitter.




Out on the street Sho was rushing down the street in a pace that had him almost trip over his feet. In addition the damned sun was stinging his eyes, making them watery. He wiped at them angrily – just why did he have to be out there at such an early hour? He wasn’t much of a morning person and that bright light was just so annoying. When something pushed him in his side he shrunk back in pain. As he looked properly he saw that apparently he had run into a guy, who had just turned around the corner. Sho glared at him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he barked out. “Watch where you’re going.”
Without even waiting for an answer he stormed off again. He jumped in surprise when his phone started to vibrate. With deft fingers he pulled it out to look at the display. Sho rolled his eyes. Just fantastic…

Chapter 2

Comments

[akhikaru]

Okay, this was great! :D
/yes I can feel more angst coming, but heck I'm a sucker for angst hahaha/
I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of this :)
Thanks for sharing it with us~

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your kind words. ^^
Yeah, I lvoe angst too, so poor Sakumoto will ahve to live through quite some drama, I'm afraid. ^^" Please stay tuned as I update. I'm really happy that you like it. :D

[lilly0]

*speechless* Sho... *headdesk* Oh my god.
Okay, I'm coming back tomorrow with a proper comment! (Just wanted to tell you that I read it and got all the feels :D)
(you know you need to update fast, right? :D)

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Haha, I'm curious how you feel abot this. ^^

Yeah, Sho - while he's an intelligent guy when it's about brains, his emotional intelligence isn't nearly as well-developed. I think updating this soon won't be a problem, the next part is already progressing well. :D

[lilly0]

Okay, here is my comment :D (hopefully somewhat coherent)

Sho is like how I imagine the typical guy who is gay, but thinks he can't be, because of society, family etc. and more importantly... all this makes him feel really guilty about himself being gay, like he is not only hating the fact that he is gay but also himself for being gay. It's so realistic.

Jun's word “That doesn’t change the fact that you’re not good for me,” Jun retorted. “Call me hard to please, but I want a man who loves me and feels no self-disregard over it. If I accept you, you’ll just hurt me. Again. I can’t let that happen.” really got me though. I think with this he spoke the crushing truth with simple and straight-forward words. He doesn't want to be an affair, he doesn't want to sleep with a guy, who is married and who is loved by someone else (like it might happen with current Sho here), but he also doesn't want to be with someone who feels guilty for being in love with him. He is right... this has to be a horrible feeling! (and it might backfire on him one day - I think that happens a lot, like: Why did you make me gay, it's your fault etc.

I'm totally amazed by his maturity and how he handles the situation in the car. Well, of course that stops when Sho jumps him a third time this evening. Can't really blame him for giving in, because he is obviously still madly in love with Sho, even though it would have been wiser not to do it ^^

I'm also amazed by how much they both wanted each other, to go not only through one but several rounds of sex :D This was so hot!

I love Jun's phonecalls to Nino by the way. Poor guy, gets the full load of messed up feelings - and the initial shock of what happened. (*lol* at the fact that Jun didn't hang up when Sho dropped by :D)

The morning after is like the typical hangover morning, I think. Last night was amazing, but the morning is a catastrophe. I really felt sorry for Jun, seeing how his feelings got crushed (again, by the same dude). I do thikn that Sho is extremely troubled though - he just doesn't get why (yeah, Sho, you are an idiot who is emotionally incapable) - but I guess he pretty much realized that it was not a good idea to get the histroy repeated again.

I'm curious about who is calling. Nino? Or maybe Ohno who got a furious call from Nino? *lol* Everything's possible...

And I'm curious how the next Sakumoto meeting will be!!

Can't wait for an update! :D

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Sho's really seriously troubled. He really has a big problem with this part of his personality and while he's not in denial, he simply refuses to acknolwedge his homosexual character - or more like, he tries to ignore it as best he can. Just taking care of basic urges, but never really looking at the subject. I actually fear what this will do to his character. Even now I'm not sure if the love story can really blossom, because Sho is so...

I'm feeling a bit sorry for Jun. He really tries to protect himself, but ultimately he loves Sho and well... Things didn't turn out well for him as far as love is concerned. At least for now. I think the moment Sho is standing in Jun's door Jun's simply taking it as fate, like the universe simply wanted them to be together and in that moment he just wanted to believe that. I love Sho's weak moments during their night together a lot too. ^^

Ultimately Jun has a very clear vision of what he wants, which can help him recovering and find a new line that can work for him. Sho is a lot more disoriented, actually. He doesn't have any real plans. He just keeps bringing random girlfriends to show off with, but what if that won't do anymore? Does he really want to get married? Does he want to live a lie or actually come clean with his wife, should he get one? How will he have sex with men if hsi life should turn out like that? The thing is, Sho knows he's stuck on things and it only adds to his discomfort. To sum it up, they're both fucked.

Well, once they got started, they wanted to get the most out of it, I guess. XD It was a nice episode to write, really - especially the way Sho can actually forget about all his reservations and aparently he does have a vivid sex life, with the skills he has gained. ^^"

Aw, I feel a bit sorry for Nino. He really gets sucked into all of this and it must be tough. The thing is, I "chose" him, because I'm sure that he will be supportive while keeping things to himself and not interfering with anything. He's going to help a lot, I'm sure.

Oh, I hate that morning scene. What's unsettling me the most is that Jun's harsh reactions lead to the ultimate result. So, it's not just Sho trying to get back into "straight" mode. He actually wants to come onto Jun really, but Jun lashes out at him right away and so in the end Sho thinks that it's better to go back to "how things were", to not trouble Jun, or himself with these newfound feelings. After all, Jun already told him that he can't imagine being with someone like Sho. But even so, Sho actually hates it. All of it.

I'm also curious as to how this story will develop. The characters are strong, which makes for interesting interaction, but get very annoying when they mess up. ^^" Well, I'm wishing them the best of luck.

Thanks so much for your lovely comment. <3

[learashi]

Wow, that was so good. I think I want to sic Nino onto Sho for what he is doing with Jun's emotions. Please update again soon as I have been totally sucked into this story.

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so much for commenting! \(^ o^)/
Yes, Sho isn't acting very... well, nice. But then, he's hurting too, so please don't feel too harshly towards him. I'll make him make it up to Jun too, I promise. <3 I will try to update soon. Thanks a lot for reading. ^__^

[raene-9.livejournal.com]

OMG! Jun you never learned...if you dont stop or cant control it, Sho will definitely gonna use you like that.so be careful...

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Jun indeed needs to be careful. The way Sho keeps acting, he's going to hurt both of them. Sho needs to get his act together and Jun needs to stay strong. Let's hop they make it.

Thanks a lot for reading and commenting!!! <3

[br-arashi.livejournal.com]

I'm just soooooooo relieved to know this is a chaptererd fic!
I really need to know how this end!!!

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that I'm answering so late. I'm often very busy during the week and don't check lj for several days. ^^"

I'm very happy that you like the story. ^__^ The new chapter update is online too. I hope you will enjoy it.

Thanks a lot for commenting. I really hope I'll see you on chapter 2 as well. (^ o^)

[little-kirin.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, this story is sooo great! I can't wait to read the next chapter tomorrow! It has been a long time since I couldn't wait to continue reading something! <3 You are awesome!!! The way you are able to capture emotions in words is incredible and you never go too far but make the read absolutely pleasant! Please continue like that!

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for reading this and for commenting!!! <3<3 I enjoy this story a lot, really. ^^

Somehow Sakumoto make it easy for me to engage in drama, but they never let it get out of hand. I can rely on their strong characters to carry the story without disrupting too much and that's really great. This makes things quite easy for me, really. I'm very happy that the feelings that I want to come across shine the way I want them to. :D