authors_paradise | Love wo Produce - Chapter 2: A Wild Heart

Pairing: Shuji to Akira (Pikame)
Characters: Kusano Akira (Yamashita Tomohisa), Kiritani Shuji (Kamenashi Kazuya), Mr. Honeybutt, OC, probably others
Rating: PG-15
Disclaimer: Don't own them, just love them ^^
Setting: drama
Warnings: Probably a chaotic story-line, kissing and making out
Multi-Chapter

Notes: As requested by my dear

yukitsubute, here's the next part. ^^

Intro: Soooooo... Your best friend that you happen to live with just confessed to you. Well, he said it's all cool, when you gave him a shocked look. But then, what is going to happen? XD Read how Shuji deals with the new situation, how he and Akira interact and how Mr. Honeybutt gets his first walk. Enjoy. <3

Shuji eyed his room mate carefully. They were watching Akira’s favourite movie. It was their shared TV night and it had been Akira’s turn to pick the film. They always set it up big style, with chips and popcorn and everything. As it was, Shuji couldn’t concentrate on the movie, though. Ever since the other had kissed him, his mind kept spinning around a hundred questions. He had never thought of Akira as a person who had feelings like desire, or need. He knew it was stupid, of course, but he had never seen the other that way. Looking at him now, he seemed to be an entirely different person. Or rather, it was like Shuji hadn’t really seen him before. As a man, that is.

After it struck him, he wondered how he could have missed it before. Akira had grown into a rather decent young man. Not too pretty, but rather really handsome. He was a big shot with the girls, even though he was still weird in his mind. He had grown just a bit more and while he wasn’t stud, there were some muscles on him that looked nice. Shuji bit his lip, tilting his head slightly. Did he like muscles? He’d never thought about that before. It looked good on Akira, but then…

“Did I grow a third eye, or something?”

Shuji blinked several times. “Ah, what?”

Akira gave him an annoyed look. “You’ve been inspecting me for like ten minutes now. What the fuck is it?”

“Ah…” Shuji stuttered. He panicked when he felt his face heating up. “I, er…” He jumped up as though he’d just realized he was sitting on a hornets' nest. “I…” he kept fumbling around desperately. “Ah… where’s my phone? Oh no… Maybe I lost it somewhere. I’ll go looking for it.”

And with that he literally flew, tripping over the carpet as he stormed first out of the room, then out of the flat. Akira first blinked after him, then blinked at the other’s phone that was very prominently lying on a side table. He sighed as he turned off the TV.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

What do I do now? I mean, he said it’s okay to just be friends. I still don’t even know if it wasn’t all a joke. Or maybe he doesn’t even understand the meaning of a kiss like that? It’s Akira, after all. Do guys like him even kiss? It was too random to really take it seriously, right?

Shuji groaned angrily to himself.

And just because he did that randomly, suddenly I feel like I have to think about whether it would be possible for me… A guy? I don’t know. Is it just that I never thought about something like that? I’ve never been in love with a guy. Well… I’ve never been in love with a girl, either. At least not the way I think it should be like. I’ve never been in love. Is it because I was looking the wrong way?

He shook his head.

Now don’t overreact. It was just a random thing. But then, why does it upset me so? Fuck…

Shuji turned his head. He thought he’d heard something. Then he jumped when he felt something wet on his right hand. As he looked more closely, he saw a huge black dog standing in a small yard, heaving and waving its tail madly. Shuji smiled.

“Oh, hey, Mr. Honeybutt,” he greeted the dog, petting it lightly. “Seems like you like it here. Miyagi-san is taking good care of you, ne?”

The dog was overly delighted. He obviously tried to appeal to Shuji, moving into his touches and whining slightly for more.

“Oh dear,” Shuji laughed. “Looks like someone needs love.”

“Him need a walk,” Miyagi stated as he stepped outside.

“Good evening, Miyagi-san,” Shuji greeted the man politely. Then he looked back at Mr. Honeybutt. “Well, I guess it’s a bit boring, ne? Even though there’s a yard, it’s not exactly big. Such a huge dog. He’d want to be walked, right?”

“Why dontcha take him, then?” Miyagi suggested.

“But… I don’t know how to walk a dog,” Shuji opposed.

“’s not hard. Ya take that rope,” Miyagi explained, pointing at a rope that hung loosely on a nail, “and ya just walk, ya know.”

Shuji considered rope and dog for a while, then nodded with a smile.

“Right,” he decided. “Why not? I could do with the fresh air. Shall we go for a walk, Mr. Honeybutt?”

The dog seemed delighted. He must have guessed what was going on when Shuji took the rope from the nail and didn’t fight when Shuji fixed it on his collar.

“Okay, let’s go,” Shuji cheered as he and the dog started their walk around the area.

It was rather late already and since they were living in the outskirts of the city there weren’t too many people on the streets anymore. Shuji remembered that a small river was close by and thus he headed in the according direction. Mr. Honeybutt had a blast, inspecting everything on their way. Really everything. Even a patch of grass could be so incredibly interesting he’d spend a whole minute sniffing at it. Shuji most probably would have been annoyed, had he not been too lost in his own thoughts again. That kiss simply wouldn’t let him go. He didn’t even know how long he had walked around before he and Mr. Honeybutt arrived back at the restaurant. Shuji sighed slightly, as he brought the dog back into the yard and released him from the improvised leash again. Mr. Honeybutt seemed rather content, but also tired. He lay down on the ground, yawning.

“So easily pleased,” Shuji stated with a smile. “I really don’t know why people say `A dog’s life´. I mean, this is nice, isn’t it? You get fed, you get petted and people walk you to interesting places. You can sleep any time you like… and you don’t have to wonder about your relationships with other people… confusing people… A dog’s life is simple. Why can’t I be a dog?”

“A dog can climb a tree to get an apple,” Miyagi stated, stepping outside to welcome Shuji back. “Or steal it from the table.” He laughed slightly when Shuji merely blinked at him. “Just sayin’. Most offa time we’res the ones who makes things complicated, ya know. A dog will take an apple away from a table before it climb up a tree to get it. ‘s easier.”

“True…” Shuji mused. “But… I’m thinking my problems are more complex.”

“Indeed, ya’re just thinkin’ that,” Miyagi grinned.

At that Shuji had to grin back. “Ah, I think I had better get going. It’s really late. Have to get up early tomorrow. See you, Mr. Honeybutt,” he said cutely, waving the dog good-bye. “Miyagi-san,” he offered with a slight bow as he made to leave.

“Come by again,” Miyagi called after him.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Shuji sighed slightly as he closed the door to the flat behind him again. He wasn’t upset anymore, but he felt rather tired. That walk had actually exhausted him. He had to admit, though, that this dog was actually really cute.

“Sorry I took so long,” he apologized as he kicked off his shoes.

“It’s okay,” Akira offered casually. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t call you,” he added. As Shuji came back into the living room, the other gave him a pointed look. “Found your phone,” he stated, offering the item to the younger man.

Shuji’s eyes grew wide. “Oh… there it was,” he tried to act. “Look at me here… stupid. Well, I guess, I’m just…”

“Shuji…” Akira interrupted him. “Are we having a problem?”

The other merely stared at him.

“Is it because… Is it because I kissed you?”

“I, er…”

“It’s okay,” Akira offered. “You can say it.”

“It’s not like…” Shuji bit his lip, lost for words to explain his feelings.

Akira sighed. “You know, I’m not claiming to be good with… this stuff. Just, what you do and say… the way you behave… it’s a bit confusing, you know.” Shuji blinked at that, but Akira kept explaining. “First you don’t push me away when I kiss you. Then you tell me you don’t want it. Then you keep staring at me. Then when I ask you about it, you run. Then you talk to a dog about your feelings, but you aren’t exactly being precise. I totally don’t know what to make of that,” he shrugged.

Shuji narrowed his eyes slightly. “Hold on, how do you know where I went?”

“I didn’t,” the other told him. “I was feeling bored,” he explained with a shrug, “so I decided to go down and visit Mr. Honeybutt. But he wasn’t there. Miyagi-san told me you had taken him for a walk. We talked a bit and then I left again, just when you arrived back I was out on the street.”

“You… you heard me?” Shuji asked, sounding alarmed.

The other merely nodded. “But I’m still confused. I totally don’t get it,” he sighed. “Do you like me?”

The question hit Shuji like a slap. He didn’t know what to do, or what to say. Even if he was ready to give the other an answer, he didn’t even have one.

“I… I don’t even know what you mean, when you say `like´. What about you?”

“Me likes Shuji,” Akira chirped out readily.

“So you like me,” Shuji mused. “How?”

As an answer Akira merely walked up to the other and snaked his arms around his neck. When Shuji didn’t try to resist or push him back he quickly pecked the other’s lips.

“See?” Akira whispered against his lips. “Like Shuji.”

“Yes, I see,” Shuji nodded.

“And… Shuji like Akira?”

“I… ah…”

A million things were rotating in Shuji’s head. What to do? Obviously Akira really did like him very much and knew exactly what it meant. He had just confessed to him – the second time already. Well, he would, just openly like that. He was Akira. Kind, sweet, loving, caring Akira. How would he not like him? Akira was the most wonderful person he’d ever met. A good and devoted friend. Someone who was always there for him… took care of him… loved him.

“Yes,” Shuji finally whispered back.

He could feel the other’s lips curving into a smile before they brushed his again. They were soft and plum, inviting him to play along. And so he did. He jumped slightly in surprise when he felt a tongue licking his lips, but it was just for a second. Then he opened his lips, allowing the other in, pushing back, kissing his friend, blushing slightly at the situation. In an attempt to occupy his hands he slid his arms around Akira’s waist. Obviously that appealed as Akira sighed happily, pulling Shuji even closer. Suddenly hands were on his chest, running over the fabric of his shirt. Shuji bit his lip. It was a strange sensation. He didn’t really know what to do with it. Before it could get awkward, though, he slid his own hands under the other’s shirt, brushing over warm skin.

“Shuji,” Akira sighed.

Shuji’s heart started to beat faster. Apparently Akira was pleased with what he was doing. And that was good, wasn’t it? He wanted the other to be pleased. Trying to follow that track, Shuji shifted slightly and started to press small kisses down the other’s neck, who answered by rubbing against him suggestively. It was still strange, but it would be okay for the moment. Shuji tried to shift into a comfortable position, but then he froze, eyes popping open wide as he felt fingers first playing with his shirt and then undoing the buttons. Akira was undressing him. The thought hit him like a brick on his head. He didn’t even really feel how the other moved to kiss the revealed skin, but he grasped the hair on the back of Akira’s head tightly. Other than that he didn’t move. Things continued like that for a while, until one of Akira’s hands ventured dangerously lower, making Shuji’s grip on his hair tighter and Akira pulled back to complain.

“Hey, that hurts,” he whined, detaching the forceful hand and rubbing his skull.

His grumpy expression immediately changed into one of pure shock as he took in the figure of Shuji in front of him.

“Hey,” he said softly, stroking Shuji’s face. “Why are you crying?”

Shuji blinked at that. He checked through his own system. Crying… was he? Suddenly he noticed that his vision was blurred, that his eyes stung and that he was heaving because his nose was blocked. Yes, he was indeed crying. When had it started? In the end it didn’t matter. Once Shuji arrived fully in the situation, more tears came and he covered his face with his hands.

“Na, Shuji,” Akira tried to soothe him, but the moment his hand touched the other, Shuji shot up as if he’d been burnt and without sparing a look he ran out the door.

Akira sighed. “Not good,” he decided.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

“Hi, Miyagi-san.”

“Yous guys are pretty busy today, aren’tcha?” Miyagi answered as he saw Akira coming into the store. “Didtcha find your friend?”

Akira merely nodded. “And then scared him away.”

“You had a fight?” Miyagi asked, wiping the part of the bar Akira was seating himself at with a wet cloth.

“I don’t think you’d actually call it a fight,” Akira mused. “It… it’s been difficult.”

“How?”

“I don’t think you’d understand,” Akira waved him off.

Miyagi looked at him like he’d said something foul.

“No, I…” the boy added quickly. “I don’t mean you wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Just… it’s difficult when… I don’t think you could imagine it. The problem.”

“Why not?” Miyagi wanted to know.

“Because you don’t know it,” the boy answered, gratefully accepting a small shot the shop keeper offered him. “I never thought I’d get to know it. But then…”

“Why cantcha just make up?”

“I can’t,” Akira told the other, drowning his shot in one go. “Because he hates me.”

Miyagi took a close look at him. “’s not true,” he informed Akira. “That boy loves ya. Him don’t say it maybe. Him’s embarrassed. But… Shuji loves ya.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Akira opposed.

“How’d ya know?” Miyagi asked, drying some glasses.

Akira grinned bitterly. “Because I love him,” he explained. “I confessed to him. I kissed him too. And I thought maybe he likes me too, but then he ran.” He sighed, shaking his head. “It’s too weird. First he told me he likes me and he even… well, he played along. But then, somewhere in the middle he started to cry and ran away. I totally don’t get it. I mean, if he didn’t want it, why did he start anything? He didn’t even fight, he just…”

“Idiot,” Miyagi scoffed out, putting the glass down noisily.

“Huh?” Akira blinked.

“Ya’re an idiot,” Miyagi repeated. “Dontcha get it? Shuji likes ya. Him don’t have much confidence. Maybe Shuji thinks ya’ll leave if ya refuse’im.”

“So… he’s afraid that I’ll leave him? He likes me and doesn’t want to hurt me, so he just went along to make me happy?”

“Me don’t really know,” Miyagi shrugged.

Akira sighed. “That’s exactly what Shuji would do. He’s so… Argh, why can’t he just say what’s in his head? It’s so bothersome. How am I supposed to know? And what am I gonna do now?“

__________________________________________________________________________________________

“Shit,” Shuji cursed, throwing another stone into the water. “What am I gonna do now? He’s gonna hate me. Stupid. Why did I have to cry like that?”

“That’s the question you’re asking?”

Shuji swished around to find Akira standing right behind him and froze. Then he blinked.

“How did you…?”

Akira smiled. “You always seek out water when you’re distressed,” he explained. “Not too many options here.”

Shuji sighed in defeat, shaking his head. “It’s okay,” he grunted out. “You don’t have to bother with this. I…”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Akira muttered, rolling his eyes.

He grabbed Shuji by his shirt and pulled him closer to the river. Then he forced the boy to sit on the ground before seating himself right next to him. A short silence filled the nightly air between them as they both just stared out onto the water.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Akira finally asked.

“What was I supposed to say?” Shuji shrugged.

The other sighed angrily. “How about `stop, I don’t want it´?”

“And then?” Shuji wanted to know.

“Then I would have stopped,” Akira stated exasperatedly. “Did you think I would want you like that? That I want you to sacrifice yourself just to please me?”

Tears came to Shuji’s eyes again. “I… shit,” he cursed, wiping at his eyes. “I thought… I didn’t know what to do. You confessed to me like that and… and I like you. So much, really. I didn’t want to hurt you and I thought if I just tried then I could…”

“You really are an idiot,” Akira told him.

“I’m sorry,” Shuji whispered, finally looking at the other again.

“Shuji…” Akira just shook his head. “Just because you wanted to please me? That’s not… what you’d normally do.”

“Maybe not,” Shuji admitted.

“Was I too demanding?” Akira asked. “Did I move too boldly. Too fast? I mean, you just said that you like me… a lot… you even made that much of an effort. Just… how do you like me, Shuji?”

“I… I totally don’t know,” the other finally admitted. “I mean, I never would have imagined… that you would like me like that. I’ve never thought about something like that. Guys… you. I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore. I’m too confused. I don’t know where I am, let alone where I want to go.”

“I see,” Akira nodded. “Well then, take your time,” he said with a smile.

“Huh?”

“I’ve had a good time to think about it too before I kissed you,” Akira explained. “I kept asking myself what I saw in you… and this is where I arrived.”

“Oh dear…”

“It’s not bad,” Akira told him, “to consider things. I’ll give you the time to find your answer. I’ll back off in the meantime, okay? But before we let this rest for the moment I want to tell you that I’m not gonna leave you, no matter what your answer will be. When you find that you don’t have these feelings, that’s okay. So please, don’t try to force yourself, okay? I’ve accepted it for myself. And I’ll live with it either way. It’s good, even the way it is now. I love you and I love… loving you. Even when you won’t love me, it’s still nice… just to feel that way.”

Shuji blinked at the other, eyes still wet, but fortunately no tears were coming. Once again he wondered at the complexity that was Akira. He had learned so much about him in the past few days and also tonight. For a moment he wondered if there were yet more things to learn about him, but for the time being he was mainly relieved.

“Thank you,” he nodded with a smile. “I… I’m sorry, I was acting stupid.”

“It’s okay,” Akira told him.

He swiftly got up, offering Shuji a hand to help him up too.

“Let’s get back,” he suggested. “It’s getting quite cold.”

“Mh,” Shuji nodded. “Maybe Miyagi-san will serve us some hot ramen.”

“Sounds nice,” Akira agreed as they both set out to get back to their apartment.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Done for now. ^_^ Oh dear, Shuji-kun! @_@ Somehow I think that's just what he'd do when he doesn't know how to handle a situation. He'll get himself all caught up in it until it's all too much and he breaks. >_< Poor Akira too. He must have had a shock. It's good they have Miyagi and Mr. Honeybutt. ^^ I hope you liked. Stay tuned to see how this continues. :D