Love Episodes - Episode 23: S Stands for Sex-Death

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Pairing: KinKi Kids
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own KinKi Kids, or anything JE-related
Warnings: one single slightly dirty phrase and my rating goes up already
Multi-Chapter


Intro: Takes place at the beginning of 2010. More precisely, this happens right before the recording of SDK #415, which was aired on the 24th of January. You tour is over, but KinKi Kids are as busy as ever, working hard and finding that their living together is taking an awkward direction. Is it inevitable to grow bored of a person after an according amount of time? And what do you do when you find that you don't know what to do with the person you love?


Note: Unexpectedly, I'm already updating again. :)  Just as unexpected is the mood this chapter turned out to have. I'm a bit sorry, because I don't think that this is what was expected of me. ^^" This is actually the answer to a request by i_ate_a_panadol . Th request was to write about the somewhat peculiar red spot Tsuyoshi had on his throat in SDK#415. How did it get there - and why wasn't it covered? So, actually it was supposed to be a little bit of foolishness. Gomen ne, it turned out gloomy. But I don't begrudge the fact. This is something that feels very "real", especially in a long-year relationship. So, naturally, I like it. ^^" And I want to say that this is more like a set-up. The hickey thing ended up like this, but I think you will really like how this will turn out. I'm already working on the follow up chapter.

“Koichi, can you leave that stupid game for five minutes and go through the script with me?” Tsuyoshi complained, looking sourly at his lover.

Koichi sighed, putting his PSP aside. He loved his partner with all his heart and he was the most kind-hearted person he could ever imagine. But hardly anybody knew that, in spite of the fact that everybody kept teasing Koichi for being demanding and spoilt, Tsuyoshi could be a horrible attention whore. And a violent one at that. But that was a different story. Or maybe it wasn’t, after all. Usually Tsuyoshi would simply drag him out of his seat and push him against the wall if he wanted some attention. It wasn’t quite like him to cover his intentions like that - least of all with something they never did. He only did that when it was about his disease, when he didn’t feel well. Or when he was really pissed. Tsuyoshi never yelled, or freaked out. Actually, the angrier he was, the more silent and subtle he became.

 

Koichi felt a bit uneasy. Today’s guest once used to have a (not so) secret crush on him and apparently it bothered Tsuyoshi. Koichi smiled encouragingly as he walked around the couch Tsuyoshi was half-lying on to stand behind his partner. Tsuyoshi eyed him with a curious expression on his face. Koichi’s hands found Tsuyoshi’s shoulders and smoothed over the cloth-covered skin in a reassuring motion.

“You don’t have to worry,” Koichi said softly as his hands started to knead the younger man’s tense flesh near his neck. “She’s a really cute girl. And you know that I basically never say something like that.”

 

Tsuyoshi blinked. “No, you don’t,” he agreed. “So why do you say it now?”

“I don’t mean to say that I think she’s cute as in, you know, I would fall for it. She’s just easy to get along with. And she was never bothersome in anyway.”

Tsuyoshi snorted. “You make it sound like I was worried concerning our guest.”

“You’re not?” Koichi blinked.

“Why ever would you think that?” Tsuyoshi asked, turning his head slightly.

“Well, I was just…” Koichi stuttered. “You know, I mean… she liked me back then. I don’t know about now. But… Ah, but I’m sure it’s long forgotten.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Tsuyoshi said flatly, turning his head back to the script.

 

“So…” Koichi tried carefully, licking his lips, “you’re not worried about that?”

“Why would I be worried?” Tsuyoshi asked. “Do you plan to run off with her?”

“No,” Koichi shot out. “Just that…” He broke off, his hands leaving Tsuyoshi’s shoulders.

“Just that?”

“Well… You’ve been acting a bit strange, so I thought maybe you’re feeling uneasy,” Koichi explained.

A short bright smile came to Tsuyoshi’s face. “I’m perfectly fine. Please, never worry.”

Tsuyoshi had the very rare gift to talk through his eyes. Right now they were burning in a way that belied the soft smile on his lips. The result of such a picture was the creepy sensation of a warm smile giving you the feeling that Tsuyoshi wanted to cut straight through your throat at the time, if only he found a suitable tool.

 

Koichi gulped. “You’re pissed,” he muttered out.

“Hm?” Tsuyoshi made in a curious voice, blinking innocently.

“Oh my god, you’re really pissed,” Koichi gasped out. Then he blinked. “But… what did I do?”

“Nothing,” Tsuyoshi said firmly and his tone implied that exactly that was actually the problem.

“Okay,” Koichi mused. “I… didn’t do the dishes. I’m sorry, I was so tired and…”

“You think I’m making a riot about dirty dishes?” Tsuyoshi suddenly broke out.

“Ano… not?”

 

Tsuyoshi gave him a look that said `you’ve got to be kidding me´.

“Okay, then,” Koichi tried again, “I didn’t take Pan out and you had to. I thought someone had walked her, since she wasn’t complaining about going out. I would have walked her, for sure. You don’t have to take care of my stuff.”

“Koichi, when was the last time we slept together?” Tsuyoshi asked flatly.

The older man blinked at that. “I guess `last night´ is not a suitable answer?”

Tsuyoshi shot him a murderous look.

 

“Okay, okay,” Koichi stuttered out quickly, making soothing gestures with his hands. “No, we…” He thought about it for a while. Then he thought some more. Then his eyes grew wider in understanding. “Well, I guess… it’s been almost a month.”

“25 days,” the younger man retorted.

“Shit,” Koichi burst out. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I was so busy,” he tried to explain, “and you were too, so I thought you didn’t bother. You could have told me you wanted to.”

Finally Tsuyoshi put the script aside, and shifted so he could face the other.

“When was the last time you initiated intimacy between the two of us?”

 

Koichi blinked at him with wide eyes. “What?”

“When was the last time you advanced me? Said that you want me? Touched me without me having to give you the hint?”

Koichi bit his lip. A knot was forming in his guts, twisting uncomfortably. He felt completely lost, didn’t know what to say, because he simply…

“-don’t remember,” Koichi mumbled out silently.

“What?” Tsuyoshi asked in mock-interest.

“I…” Koichi rasped out feeling miserable and despicable at the same time, “I can’t remember.”

 

“That’s poor,” Tsuyoshi commented.

“It is,” the older man agreed, hanging his head. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t exactly realise…”

“It’s not like I usually make it a point to have you tell me how hot you are for me. I don’t mind a lot that you are just as happy without, if you’re not offered. I’ve known you forever and that’s just you.”

“Okay, but now it’s different, because…”

“It’s not that you don’t jump me when I’m in the kitchen, preparing dinner in the nude. But really, you don’t even look at me. 25 days now. I purposefully didn’t advance you to see when you’d break and come to me. But I can’t take it anymore. You keep ignoring me as if I was just some kind of furniture your eyes have grown sore of.”

 

Koichi sighed, shaking his head. “No, no, no.”

“You keep saying that,” Tsuyoshi cut in, “but do you really feel that?”

The older man blinked at him.

“Honestly,” Tsuyoshi said, shrugging, “you seem so indifferent to my presence, I might as well be invisible. And it’s not that you’re busy. I know you are. We both are busy a lot. But there is this… when I see you at home, I see you giving attention and being enthusiastic. Just never towards me. I’m feeling like if I were a video game, I’d receive more of your love than I do now.”

“What?”

 

“Well, if you don’t play with Pan-kun, or walk Pan-kun, for fawn over Pan-kun, you’ll sit in front of your PC, playing games. All of your attention goes there. Think about it, if you still found me attractive, you’d come to me for sex. But you don’t.”

Koichi looked at his lover miserably. But…” He shook his head firmly. “No, I… if it was that I don’t want you, I’d still want sex. But I never cheated on you. Well, after that. I have no such urges and I certainly don’t want to leave you. So, I don’t want any other guy more than I want you.”

 

That hit Tsuyoshi a bit unexpected, because, even though the logics were almost too simple, they held some truth.

The younger man sighed. “I just don’t understand… why do you not see me? What do you miss? What… would it take to have you really interested in me again?”

Koichi thought on that for a moment. He licked his lips nervously. Then he giggled softly, but suppressed it immediately.

“What?” Tsuyoshi asked.

“No, no,” Koichi waved him off. “A stupid thought. Forget it.”

 

“I’ll go with anything,” the younger man retorted. “The situation is unbearable as it is and I really want to understand. So, whatever comes to your mind, share it with me.”

Koichi smiled apologetically. “It was really a stupid comparison. You’ll only get upset.”

“Tell me already,” Tsuyoshi sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I just thought… a quest,” Koichi shrugged.

Tsuyoshi blinked at him. “What?”

 

“A quest,” Koichi explained. “Like, the appeal of something lies in the discoveries. Pan is always interesting because she will always do new fantastic things that we never would have thought. With video games it’s similar. New tasks will always come up and you’ll get caught up, wanting to reach your goal.”

“Okay,” Tsuyoshi nodded. “So, I’m uninteresting because there’s nothing about me to be discovered.”

“No, that is not what I mean,” Koichi opposed.

The younger man blinked at him. “No?”

 

Koichi gave him a desperate look. “I… don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “But I love you. Really love you.”

Tsuyoshi smiled at him. “I know that. And… it seems that I made a grave mistake.”

The older man blinked at him.

“I got annoyed with you ignoring me and I let that feeling seethe inside of me, putting all the blame on you. And I never once even thought of asking myself why it is that you do not seek me out. If maybe I did or missed something that caused your behaviour.”

“But…” Koichi blinked. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything. I kept ignoring you.”

 

“No, I didn’t do anything,” Tsuyoshi agreed. “It seems like we’re caught in a trap. But this is as much my fault as it is yours. Even though you keep saying you don’t want to make an effort in a relationship, you do a lot to keep me attracted and interested.”

“I do?”

Tsuyoshi chuckled. “Not too long ago you came home with a dog in your arms. I never would have thought you’d do such a thing. And without warning me. I learned something about you that day. It had me wonder and reconsider my view of you.”

“Because I brought Pan?” Koichi asked in confusion.

 

“And you still keep doing these little things. Like, you still read that science magazine, just in case I’d want a new story.”

“It’s just become a habit,” Koichi shrugged.

“But you have a story, right?”

“Well,” Koichi chirped out, “I’ve read some interesting things. Like, did you know that…”

“It’s okay for now,” Tsuyoshi waved him off. “But I guess you get my point.”

“So I’m a geek,” Koichi shrugged.

 

“You are much more than just a geek,” Tsuyoshi told him. “The other day when you babysat your sister’s little boy, I was so surprised, because I had never seen you interact with a child like that. And then you decided that you wanted to try eating olives even though you hated them and you would eat one every day and you kept saying that it would get better with time.”

“And your point?”

“You are a person with very strong and special characteristics. But you’re not satisfied with defining yourself via these characteristics. You keep looking for new things, you keep re-inventing yourself over and over. And you provide me with many things to learn about you. You are indeed a fascinating person.”

 

“You are an interesting person too,” Koichi opposed.

“Mah, but I guess I haven’t given you things to wonder about concerning my person.”

“I like knowing what I’m dealing with,” Koichi offered.

“Until you grow tired of it,” Tsuyoshi retorted.

“I won’t,” the older man insisted.

“Koichi, tell me, what’s your favourite video game?”

“Eh?”

“Just tell me.”

 

“Ano…,” Koichi mused, “it’s still `Day of the tentacle´.”

“Okay,” Tsuyoshi nodded. “Let’s presume. You really love this game. But now imagine that it’s the only game that you have. So, all you ever do is play this one game. Over and over. The same quests, the same tasks, the same dialogues. Always, all the time. How long do you think you’ll go until you grow tired of it and get yourself a new, more interesting game?”

Koichi just stared at him.

“See?” Tsuyoshi smiled sadly. “There is something seriously array here. I’ll have to think of a way to solve this. I don’t think it can be done over-night, but at least now I have something to work with.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Koichi mumbled out.

“It can’t be helped,” Tsuyoshi shrugged. “Next time you could say something when you feel indifferent towards me. As it is, the situation is already quite difficult. This is nothing we can solve with a casual `suck me´.”

“I didn’t even realise,” Koichi admitted, shaking his head. “But now that we’re talking about it…I mean, there is something we should solve.”

“I will try to be a better man for you.”

“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” Koichi mumbled around a nervous chuckle. “Ah,” he said then, as though he had just remembered something important.

 

“What now?” Tsuyoshi asked.

Koichi moved around the couch to stand in front of his lover, then got down on the ground. Spreading Tsuyoshi’s legs, he pressed his body against the other’s. He pecked Tsuyoshi’s lips lightly. Then he moved to his lover’s ear.

“A little good-luck charm for you,” he whispered, then started to caress the ear lobe lovingly, first nuzzling it lightly, then licking and nipping at it.

 

He felt Tsuyoshi tense up a bit, but felt no resistance. Soon Tsuyoshi relaxed a bit more against the back of the couch as he felt Koichi’s lips moving down his throat, feathery light kisses making him feel all fuzzy. Then he felt Koichi attend to his neck and let his head fall to the side slightly to give his lover better access. Koichi showed his approval by kissing whatever flesh was within reach, shifting to his lover’s sensitive collar bone. Tsuyoshi sighed in delight, stroking Koichi’s hair lazily.

Then there was a loud knock on the door. “Two minutes, please get ready,” a voice called out.

 

Both men froze and blinked. “Shit,” Koichi exclaimed checking the watch, “it’s almost time.”

“Okay, let’s get ready, then,” Tsuyoshi sighed. “It’s not like we can solve this here anyway. But thanks,” he said softly, kissing Koichi lightly. “For the good luck charm. I’m sure it’ll help.”

“Oh, I think it already does,” Koichi stated warily, looking at him.

“What do you mean?” Tsuyoshi asked, raising a brow.

“Well,” the older man smiled apologetically, “it seems that it shows you belong to me…”

 

He pointed towards the mirror on the wall, a guilty expression on his face. As Tsuyoshi turned and moved to see what Kochi meant, he gasped. A soft red spot was shining right above his collar bone.

“Shit,” Tsuyoshi hissed out. “We have to cover it.”

“KinKi Kids, out please,” another yell came from the door.

“We don’t have the time,” Koichi sighed.

“What now?”

“Cover it with your shirt?” Koichi suggested.

“That won’t cover it,” Tsuyoshi opposed, shaking his head.

 

“Well, then…” Koichi sighed. “We can’t help it. Let’s just… act casually.”

“Eh?”

“Like it’s really not a big deal,” Koichi explained. “It’s nothing special, least of all something to be ashamed of, or something that needs covering up.”

Tsuyoshi shrugged in defeat. “Best strategy to come up with right now. Okay, let’s go.”

“Sorry,” Koichi mumbled out again.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Tsuyoshi waved him off. “Actually,” he said grinning and touching sot fingers to the spot, “I already like it.”

“You know, it’s not exactly new that you’re a perv, you definitely have to find something else.”

“Yes, yes,” the younger man sighed, pushing Koichi lightly. “I’m working on it.”

“It had better be good,” Koichi kept teasing. “You know my standards are high.”

“I’ll try to find something that will suit you.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, I'm all done. So, a new conflict has finally been found. Poor KinKi Kids, to have to go through all of this. ^^"  Please bear with me. After all, I've already thought of a plan to solve this little thing and I think you're gonna like it. ^_~  Hope you liked this too. ^^