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authors_paradise
Pairing: KinKi Kids
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own KinKi Kids, or anything JE-related
Warnings: bit of swearing
Multi-Chapter
Intro: Scene starts showing what happens once Koichi is at Nagase's. Both KinKi Kids are troubled by the situation but have to face each other unavoidably. How are they gonna deal with it?
Notes: I really thought Koichi would bitch a lot (more), but it turned out that he didn't . So, yays! Hope you guys will like it.
“So, you just left him?” Nagase asked, a bit baffled.
“I couldn’t look at him,” Koichi bit out. He was still mad. “Haven’t we been through enough?! He almost died because of this. We had to get him good a therapy, we re-medicated him three times altogether, dealing with all sorts of side effects going from occasional sickness to temporal impotence. Three lapses altogether, most recent one last year – and there he goes and just decides to drop his medication. And he doesn’t even see fit to inform me. Does he know what kind of horrid fantasies I had when I found that package? God, I thought we’re gonna have what-not now. And we still might. He’s not taking his meds, for whatever reason. What is he thinking?! We start touring in a few weeks. How does he mean to deal with that? I…”
Koichi stopped, panting harshly in exhaustion.
“Got it all out?” Nagase asked sympathetically.
Koichi looked up at him. He sighed once more.
“Quite some,” he told his friend, patting his shoulder. “Thanks.”
“Okay,” Nagase nodded at him, “if you’ve raged enough try to sit down and calm a bit.”
“Right,” Koichi nodded, flopping down on a big armchair.
“Once you feel a bit lighter, I’m sure you can go back to him,” Nagase analysed.
“I’m not going back there tonight,” Koichi stated firmly.
Nagase looked worried. “But you said it yourself. He’s off the meds. You don’t know his current condition. What if anything happens?”
“Chiba-sensei has had an eye on him,” Koichi waved him off. “He should be stable. And if anything really happens, he’ll call.”
“But you explicitly said not to call,” Nagase reminded him.
Koichi smiled sadly. “He will call, if there’s a real need for it. I know that, just as he knows that if he does call I will pick up.”
“Eh?” Nagase blinked. “Then why doesn’t he just call to explain everything to you.”
“Because then I’d be even more pissed,” Koichi stated.
Nagase scratched his head. “I really don’t get you guys.”
“That’s just how we work,” Koichi shrugged.
“But aren’t you being a bit impulsive?” Nagase tried to argue.
“He knows I’m impulsive,” Koichi retorted simply.
“Yeah, well… but really, with his current condition…”
“What,” Koichi bit at his friend, “now I’m the one who’s in the wrong? He lied to me and did something dangerous without considering my feelings and you’re telling me that I’m the one at fault?”
“I don’t mean it like that, Koichi,” Nagase sighed. “But aren’t you worried?”
“I’m always worried,” the smaller man informed him. “In fact, I’ve gotten so used to it, I don’t see a difference whether I’m worried here or at home.”
“But here you can’t help if anything should happen,” Nagase pointed out.
“I can’t do anything at home either,” Koichi explained. “If something bad should actually really happen, I’d have to call an ambulance anyway. And again, it doesn’t matter where I am at the time.”
“But he would like you with him,” Nagase tried to reason.
“Then he should have thought about that before he betrayed me so,” Koichi decided.
“Now, Kou-chan,” the taller boy said in an accusing voice, “aren’t you over-reacting a bit? Betraying you…”
“He did.”
“So did you,” Nagase reminded him.
Koichi cringed. But then his eyes shot up at his friend, shooting daggers at him. “So now he’s got a free dark secret, or what? Or should I have offered him a free stray fuck?”
“Shit, Koichi, stop being so aggressive,” Nagase shot at him. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
“But that’s the core of your point,” Koichi kept yelling. “I betrayed him, so now I can’t be mad when he does the same. Is that what you think?!”
“Well, no,” Nagase tried desperately. “Just…” He flinched, wondering whether it was a good idea to finish that sentence, but then decided that he should try and set his friend right about things. “He did forgive you, you know.”
At that Koichi jumped up and grabbed Nagase by his shirt. “You… have you forgotten how many miserable nights I spent here, never knowing whether I’ll ever really see him again? It was torture, not knowing how things will turn out.”
“So, now you’re torturing him back?” Nagase asked, a pained expression on his face.
Koichi let go of the other as though the touch had suddenly burnt him. “I really thought you’d understand me better,” Koichi spat out. “I certainly don’t mean to torture him. This is just a normal reaction. Everyone would do the same in my situation.”
“But not everyone has an overly anxious husband at home,” Nagase explained.
“Tsuyoshi knows that living with me has odds,” Koichi told his friend. “And he’s not just a poor little anxious guy. He’s a strong, talented, intelligent man with many skills and I don’t mean to always only take myself back to consider his possible needs and wishes.”
“Why not?”
“Because I have needs and wishes of my own,” Koichi told him. “And I voice them as the need arises and Tsuyoshi can do the same. He’s not a little kid that needs looking after. What he needs is a bit more support when he tackles certain things, but it was his decision to not ask me for support in this and so I won’t force myself on him and that’s that.”
The two guys looked at each other. After a little while the air seemed to become lighter again. Nagase tried first, speaking gently again.
“But don’t you think the situation has changed? He might need your support now.”
Koichi smiled at him, a slightly mischievous glint in his eyes. “Then he can call.”
Nagase sighed, hanging his head. “I give up. I’ll never understand your relationship.”
“We both keep saying that it’s impossible,” Koichi told him. “Why is it everyone thinks they’re cleverer than everybody else?”
At that Nagase laughed slightly. “Ah, there’s a point. Sorry, I’ll stop lecturing you now and be a good host. Beer?”
“Thank you,” Koichi nodded thankfully.
The next moment both their heads shot to the little cabinet on which Koichi had placed his cell phone earlier. The item was glowing and vibrating urgently. The two boys looked at each other for a moment. Then Koichi practically jumped up and flew over to the phone, picking up hurriedly.
“Hai?!”
Nagase bit his lip nervously.
“What?! I…” Koichi frowned for a moment, then closed his eyes and sighed in relief, his hand moving to grasp the shirt just above his chest. “No, I understand. …”
He waved at Nagase, who too let out a sigh. “Yes, I’ll be there. … Okay. … Thank you. … Have you called Tsuyoshi? … Hai, arigatou, na.”
Nagase looked expectantly at his friend after he’d hung up.
“Katsu,” Koichi informed him. “We’ve got a rehearsal scheduled for tomorrow. The stage team needs an extra day, so we have to finish more quickly.”
“Oh,” Nagase nodded. “Tsuyoshi knows?”
Koichi nodded back. He sighed. “Now I could really do with a beer.”
“Coming right up,” Nagase smiled at his friend.
Koichi’s stomach twisted painfully as he opened the door to the rehearsal rooms. He wasn’t ready to face Tsuyoshi just yet. And at the same time he did too feel guilty for leaving him in the first place – though he’d never admit to it. He half-heartedly greeted a few staff members and
“O-Ohayo,” the younger man mumbled out.
“-hayo,” Koichi nodded shortly.
“Oh boy,” Yonehana whispered to
“Sshhhhhh,”
Koichi blinked. There was a package of strawberry milk standing next to his water bottle. He took the item, looked around the room and then opened it to drown it in a few gulps before going back to rehearsing.
Koichi jumped. A cold towel was placed on his forehead as he was resting a bit on a small chair. Once he got to turn around he couldn’t see anymore who had dropped it onto him. He sighed as he took the towel and placed it properly on his forehead again.
Koichi smiled. There were two extra salmon nigiri in his lunch box from the catering. He shook his head as he picked one of them up and dropped it into his mouth.
Koichi grabbed a hand firmly. With his eyes closed he was lying on a small bench and someone had just tried to put a dry towel under his head for comfort. He opened his eyes to see Tsuyoshi's shocked face. He smiled.
“Yo,” he said silently.
“Ano…” Tsuyoshi tried, licking his lips nervously.
“Listen,” Koichi said affectionately. “I know what you’re trying to do.” He sat up so he could look at his lover a bit better. “And thanks, you’re really being particularly attentive.”
Tsuyoshi smiled hopefully at him. Koichi, however, shook his head.
“This is not how it works, though,” he told the other.
At that Tsuyoshi’s face fell. Koichi shook his head, stroking Tsuyoshi’s face softly.
“I… love you,” Koichi told him.
At that Tsuyoshi blinked and Koichi had to chuckle a bit.
“I love you, but…” At that Koichi’s face turned sterner again. “You really fucked up.”
“I really fucked up,” Tsuyoshi repeated, nodding his agreement, yet covering Koichi’s hand with his own.
Koichi smiled at him. “So, let me be pissed for a while. It’ll pass. You know how impulsive I am. Next week I’ll probably not even remember this has happened.”
“Not quite likely,” Tsuyoshi mused, smiling back a little. “Unless you drink yourself into another guy’s bed again.”
“Oi,” Koichi called out, pulling back. “I’m being too nice to you if you’re already so daring again.” Yet he kept the slight smile on his face. “So, just a bit, ne?”
Tsuyoshi nodded in understanding and turned to leave his lover alone. Koichi felt slightly pained as he looked after him. He could have at least asked him how he was… Koichi bit his lip, pondering.
“Guys,” the choreographer called out, “let’s continue.”
“Later,” Koichi decided to himself with a short nod before he joined the group in rehearsing again.
“Ne,” Yonehana approached Tsuyoshi once they were done. “Have you and Koichi made up? You guys seem to be okay together.”
Tsuyoshi sighed. “You can’t really say we made up.”
Yonehana blinked. “Then what?”
“Well,” Tsuyoshi explained, “Koichi asked me to let him be pissed for a while.”
“Eeeeehhhhhhhhh?!?!?!?!?”
Tsuyoshi laughed at the display. “Well,” he shrugged, “I fucked up big time. So, I can’t really deny him that, can I?”
“What, like… he said to let him be pissed and you just said okay?”
Tsuyoshi nodded.
“You guys are really… unbelievable,” Yonehana gaped.
“Nah, it’ll be okay,” Tsuyoshi assured him. “Let him calm down.”
“Then it’s gonna be okay again?”
Another chuckle. “Do you really still not know how Koichi works? Certainly, it won’t be okay then. Once he’s calmed enough to decide he will actually really talk to me again, I’ll have to explain to him what happened exactly. When he hears that, he’ll explode again, no doubt. But that’ll be short-lived. After that, I can start to apologize. Or more like grovel. And once he decides that I’ve humiliated myself enough he will graciously say that he’ll forgive me and then the matter is settled.”
“If you know all that already, can’t you just skip all of that and move straight to the end?” Yonehana asked, confused.
Tsuyoshi laughed. “That’s not how it works. Just give it some time and everything’s gonna be okay again.”
Yonehana sighed. “Okay, then. See you.”
Tsuyoshi nodded at him. “Jaa.”
“You’re being cruel,” Nagase told him. “You’re nice to him, but you tell him to stay away.”
“I still need some time to adjust,” Koichi informed him, working his chop sticks wildly in his bowl of noodles.
Nagase sighed. “Whatever. So long as you both…” he tilted his head, musing, “agree… that it’s okay… when you’re still mad… – no, I still don’t get it…”
Koichi laughed at that. “Stop being too worried over my issues. I’m telling you, it’s okay.”
“Fine, then,” Nagase smiled, giving up.
They continued to eat in silence.
After a while Koichi spoke up again, though. “Ano… cn ei ushor ntbk?” Koichi asked around a mouth full of noodles.
“Eh?”
Koichi swallowed quickly. “Sorry. Can I use your net book?”
Nagase blinked at him. “Why?”
“Can I, please?” Koichi asked sweetly, making puppy-dog-eyes.
“Wah, stop giving me such looks,” Nagase complained.
Koichi grinned. He put his bowl on the table and got up to wrap his arms around his best friend.
“Pleeeeaaaaaase?” he crooned playfully.
“Okay, okay, okay,” Nagase gave in, trying to pry the offender off. “I won’t ask any questions. Just don’t download porn, or anything.”
Koichi laughed as he grabbed the net book and sat down on the couch again. “Wonder what your girlfriend would say if she found some `Coat West´ on this.”
“So not funny,” the taller boy complained.
“It’s no such thing,” Koichi waved him off.
“Okay, then. I’ll use the bath first, if that’s okay,” Nagase suggested.
“It’s your apartment, so you go right ahead,” Koichi answered, his eyes already glued to the screen.
He didn’t even hear when the other got up and left the room. Biting his lip he waited for the internet connection to be established. As soon as he got the confirmation he opened Google and typed wildly. He entered the search, then clicked the second link on the result page. Then his eyes popped open.
“Yoush!” he exclaimed. “Cool, Button totally won again. He’s so amazing. Ah, with the rehearsals running I can’t really follow the races much.”
Just when Koichi wanted to cut the internet connection a soft sound could be heard and a window popped up. It really wasn’t like Koichi to dig in other people’s stuff, but the top line said:
244Endli: Yo. Glad you’re still up. How’s the Prince?
(Koichi considered his options for a while, then grinned, grabbing the book firmly
again.)
WhoNeedsSuits: (Eh? What a weird nickname) Sorry, Nagase-kun’s taking a shower. You’re looking for a Prince?
(Koichi bit his lip, then pressed the send button. He kept starring at the screen until he
already saw stars twirling before his eyes. Finally another soft sound was heard.)
244Endli: And you are?
(Koichi blinked at that, tilting his head slightly.)
WhoNeedsSuits: I’m a friend of Nagase-kun.
244Endli: Oh, I see. Well, I don’t mean to disturb you.
WhoNeedsSuits: No such thing. I kind of barged in here anyway.
244 Endli: Why?
(Eh? You know why. What’s with this? What to write now?)
WhoNeedsSuits: Well, I… I had a fight with my lover.
244Endli: Ah, and you’re discussing that with him?
WhoNeedsSuits: Yup.
244Endli: I don’t mean to be inquisitive or nosy, but if you’d like to tell me what happened…
WhoNeedsSuits: Well… He did something really stupid. And he lied to me.
244Endli: He?????
(Koichi laughed at that, shaking his head.)
WhoNeedsSuits: Yeah, I… well, it’s a guy.
244Endli: Oh, that’s quite okay. Is he good-looking?
(Another laugh.)
WhoNeedsSuits: Why would you care?
244Endli: Well, it might be something to consider concerning your problem.
WhoNeedsSuits: Well, I think he’s totally hot.
244Endli: But is he really?
WhoNeedsSuits: Well, the opinions vary, but there are certainly other people who think so.
244Endli: Oh, okay. And he lied to you?
WhoNeedsSuits: And on top of that he had me worried sick, just because he was being a coward.
(There was a longer silence, then)
244Endli: What a jerk.
(Koichi grinned broadly.)
WhoNeedsSuits: Oi, don’t talk ill of my lover.
244Endli: Ah, gomen, ne. So, what’s your opinion?
WhoNeedsSuits: He’s a total jerk.
244Endli: Oh, I see. ^^”
WhoNeedsSuits: Well, he’s not really a jerk.
244Endli: Oh, no?
WhoNeedsSuits: He’s just… acting like one.
244Endli: Ah…
WhoNeedsSuits: Yeah, it really hit me hard. He’s usually a very considerate and attentive person. I wonder why he did such a thing.
244Endli: Well, I don’t know what he actually did, but… you said he lied?
WhoNeedsSuits: He kept something from me. Something important.
244Endli: Okay. You know, maybe he was thinking that it might get you too worked up – whatever it was.
WhoNeedsSuits: He got me more worked up by hiding.
244Endli: But if you say he’s considerate, do you really think he hurt you purposefully?
WhoNeedsSuits: I’d hardly think that. But the damage is done.
244Endli: So, what are you gonna do now?
WhoNeedsSuits: I’ll tell Tomo I’ll be off home so we can talk properly.
244Endli: No need, I’m not at home.
WhoNeedsSuits: ???
244Endli: Well, quite honestly, I wanted to visit Tomo-chan and see how you’re doing. I wanted to check whether you’re in bed already.
WhoNeedsSuits: But, then… where are you right now?
244Endli: Sitting in front of the door.
WhoNeedsSuits: So, you’re sitting right out there?
244Endli: Yup.
WhoNeedsSuits: Then why are we talking like this?
244Endli: Well, I didn’t know whether you wanted to see me. That’s why I wanted to check with Tomo.
244Endli: Koichi?
244Endli: Hello?
“Hey,” Koichi said softly, as he opened the door.
“Hey,” Tsuyoshi greeted back, getting up.
Koichi shook his head. “You are such an idiot.”
“Not really – just acting like one,” Tsuyoshi grinned.
“Agreed,” Koichi laughed. “Come in?”
“Do you think it’s okay?” Tsuyoshi wondered.
At that moment the door to the bath room flew open. Nagase came out, a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Oh, Tsuyoshi,” he exclaimed.
“Ano… hi,” Tsuyoshi greeted the other nervously. “I’m sorry to drop in like this.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Nagase assured him. “Actually, I was just about to get going.”
“Eh?” Koichi made. “Get going? But you just took a bath.”
Nagase shot him a look. “Yes, that’s because I’m visiting my girlfriend now. You guys make yourselves at home.”
Tsuyoshi bit his lip. “But really, we can just…”
“…sit and talk, exactly.” Nagase finished the sentence. “There are some food delivery flyers on the table over there, in case you guys get hungry. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Koichi smiled at his lover. “Well, do come in, then.”
Tsuyoshi grinned. “You know, he’d totally freak if we did it on his couch.”
“I wonder whether we’re already there yet,” Koichi chuckled.
“Ah, I think we’re at the point where make-up sex is an option?”
“It is,” Koichi agreed. “One out of many,” he added teasingly.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
All done. As a preview for the next chapter I'll give away that I will skip the big talk. Somehow it feels better to move into a smoother situation. Maybe I'll add the actual talk one day, but don't count on it. Somehow I don't like long serious dialogues. ^^" AND: A special treat info for those who regularly read my post comments: The chat scene was inspired by something that really happened. ^^ A friend of mine came out to his room mate chatting with him while they were both in the same apartment, each of them inside their own room. I was sitting next to my friend and witnessed. Guys are weeeeiiiiiiird. @_@ Anyway, that's how this scene was created. I hope I won't get killed now by a certain person for giving away too much information. ^^"
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