Love Episodes - Episode 19: Just Like a Pill

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Pairing: KinKi Kids
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own KinKi Kids, or anything JE-related
Warnings: swearing, bit of sex talk, bit dark (tiny bit, really)
Multi-Chapter


Introduction: Takes place in 2009, several weeks before "You" tour starts. KinKi Kids are excited about their nation wide tour. But then something unexpected happens and Koichi finds himself doubting his world. How will it turn out?


Note: I have no evidence that Tsuyoshi really tackled "You" tour without being medicated, but there are several strong hints pointing to it. Those who know what I'm talking about might guess what's to come (in later chapters), but let me tell you, even if a bit problematic, it'll be nowhere near as dark as former issues. So now I officially start the "You" story line.

Tsuyoshi sighed as he closed the door of his and Koichi’s apartment. He quickly stripped out of his shoes and dropped the keys to his car onto the small table in the hall.

“Tadaima,” he called out.

A short silence followed, then Koichi’s head popped out of the kitchen door.

“Okaeri nasai,” the older man declared, sounding slightly distressed.

“Ano…” Tsuyoshi mused, tilting his head slightly, “are you okay?”

“Uhn, sure, I’m okay,” Koichi assured him, but at the same moment almost fell over.

“What are you doing there?” Tsuyoshi demanded, moving into the kitchen.

 

The moment he looked into the room he almost flew back out again.

“What. On. Earth?!” Tsuyoshi asked breathlessly.

Koichi blushed deeply and put the frying pan back onto the oven. “You know,” he tried to explain, “I wanted to make Okonomiyaki and…”

“Okonomiyaki?” Tsuyoshi interrupted him. “At home? Without a teppan?”

“Ano…” Koichi mumbled out, hanging his head. “I thought I could do it with a frying pan. And I wanted to add the ingredients later. I’ve seen that before and really…”

 

Tsuyoshi took a close look at his lover. His face was floury from fixing the dough, his apron spoilt with said dough, his fingers sticky, but one hand firmly grasping an eggbeater, his body sweaty from working. The kitchen was a complete mess, but at the sight of his lover Tsuyoshi just left that aside and just grabbed Koichi, hugging him fiercely. The older man gasped and tried to push the other away.

“No, no, I’m spoilt all over. Your suit,” Koichi complained.

“I just can’t help it,” Tsuyoshi told him, pulling back to grin into his face. “You’re just too cute.”

 

He pecked his lover’s nose affectionately for emphasis. Koichi first blinked at him, then blushed again.

“Stop saying that,” Koichi complained half-heartedly. “I’m not eighteen anymore.”

“True,” Tsuyoshi kept grinning. “You’re so much cuter today than you were then.”

Koichi chuckled lightly at that and let himself be pulled into a sweet kiss.

“I’m sorry about the mess,” Koichi said apologetically as they pulled back.

Tsuyoshi sighed. “Nothing I’m not used to. But, you know, if you insist on cooking when I can’t, you could at least stay away from experiments such as this.”

 

Koichi nodded, feeling guilty. “I’ll clean it,” he declared.

“If you do this by yourself, you’ll be up all night,” Tsuyoshi analysed. “I’m actually amazed at how much of a mess you can produce by yourself and in such a short time.”

“You make it sound like I’m doing it on purpose,” Koichi pouted.

Tsuyoshi chuckled at that. “No such thing. It’s just… a gift, I suppose.”

“Stop it now,” Koichi complained, slapping the other’s arm.

“Sorry, sorry,” the younger man grinned. “Now, `Messy Koichi´ is cute, but why don’t you go take a shower while I finish here?”

“Sorry,” Koichi mumbled again.

 

“It’s okay now,” Tsuyoshi assured him. “Go on.”

“Okay,” Koichi sighed, handing him the eggbeater and pulling off the apron.

Tsuyoshi quickly put the item on and swiftly got to work. Koichi watched him from the door. He was a skilled cook and Koichi was very grateful for that. While his own cooking was undoubtedly tasty, he just couldn’t handle the dishes well and always ended up producing a huge mess even for the simplest meals. He smiled at Tsuyoshi’s working form. Then he blinked, tilting his head slightly.

 

“New pants?” he asked.

Tsuyoshi blinked back at him. “Eh?” Then he looked down a t himself and smiled apologetically. “Oh, yeah. I saw them and just had to.”

“If you keep spending so much money on clothes we won’t be able to make our trip,” Koichi scolded him.

 

“Nah,” Tsuyoshi waved him off. “They were really cheap. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not a pair of pants,” Koichi told him. “But lately you’ve been buying a lot, really.”

“Change of season,” Tsuyoshi shrugged, cutting some mushrooms.

“Fine, then,” Koichi sighed, rolling his eyes. “Just watch it a little, okay?”

“Uhn,” Tsuyoshi nodded, his concentration on the food.

Koichi gave up on the matter and simply went for the shower.

 

 __________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Tsuyoshi looks really good,” Nagase pointed out.

He and Koichi were sitting in KinKi Kids’ living room, playing Mario Cart.

“What, like I don’t?” Koichi grinned.

“You always look good,” Nagase told him, “you know that. It just kinda hit me when I saw him.”

Koichi blinked. “How?”

Nagase shrugged. “I don’t really know. He just… looks good. More defined, somehow. I can’t really put my finger on it. He also seemed more vivid.”

 

Koichi smiled at that. “That might well be it. He’s been totally over the moon lately with our summer tour. We haven’t done a nation wide tour in forever. He’s totally excited.”

Nagase laughed lightly. “Good for him.”

Koichi nodded in agreement. “I haven’t seen him so light-hearted in a while. And it’s really good. Not to mention his performance in bed has gone up a notch too.”

“TMI, Kou-chan,” Nagase told him, with a slightly pained look on his face.

“Eh?”

 

“Too much information,” the taller man explained.

“Gosh, don’t be a child,” Koichi complained. “It’s not like I’m giving you details.”

“Yeah, thanks, really,” Nagase sighed out. “But then, it’s good the two of you are happy.”

“Thank you,” Koichi smiled.

At that very moment Nagase got himself a boost and shot at Koichi’s cart.

“Ha!” he called triumphantly. “I win.”

“Oi,” Koichi complained. “No fair. Let’s race again.”

“No, no, no,” Nagase said firmly. “My first time winning in like five years. I’ll keep that one.”

 

“But you cheated,” Koichi pouted.

“I did not,” Nagase informed him. “It’s not my fault if you don’t pay attention.”

“You distracted me,” Koichi insisted.

“What distracted you was a picture of Tsuyoshi in your head. God knows what you were doing to him already.”

Koichi blushed at that. “Why, you… you… Kanto boy!”

Nagase laughed at that. “Are you trying to be cute, or funny?” he teased with a grin on his face.

“Okay, that’s it,” Koichi told him, jumping his friend and trying to tackle him to the ground.

Nagase kept laughing, engaging in the playful wrestling game.

 

“Now, now, boys,” Tsuyoshi called at them from the door. “What did I tell you? No wrestling in the living room. If you must, take it to the bed room, there you can’t break anything.”

The two men on the floor looked at each other, then made a face.

“Gross,” they decided together, detangling and getting into an upright position again.

“There you go,” Tsuyoshi nodded, satisfied. “Be good,” he added. “I could hear your rumbling all the way into the kitchen.”

“Sorry,” Koichi said, smiling sheepishly.

 

“Nh,” Tsuyoshi made, giving the pair a dismissive hand movement. “I’ll be done in a few minutes anyway.”

“Yays! Food!” Koichi cheered.

“I’ll go get beer,” Nagase decided, getting up from the floor.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Koichi cursed under his breath.

 

Where on earth is it? And why can’t I ever reach Tsuyoshi when it’s important? I might as well really not have the number as it is. It really is totally useless. And why does he keep putting my stuff away in the first place? Well, maybe because I never put it away… but still. Now I can’t find it. Where is my stupid lens box? I can’t play baseball with my glasses on.

 

Koichi kept rumbling through every cupboard and drawer in the bed room and in the bath room, but couldn’t find his lens box. Frustratedly he checked the mirror cabinet again, carelessly moving and shifting bottles and boxes.

“Fuck!” he cursed as some of them fell to the floor.

He got down on the ground to pick the items up, quickly grasping a bottle of face nutrition before it could roll out of his reach. Then Koichi blinked as his eyes fell upon Tsuyoshi’s med package. He picked it up and took a closer look. His eyes went wide.

 

Sealed.

 

His lens box and the items on the floor quickly forgotten, Koichi ran out of the bathroom and grabbed for his cell-phone again. He hastily pushed a few buttons, then held the phone to his ear.

“The number you have dialled is currently unavailable. Please ca-…”

Koichi hung up.

“Fuck!” he yelled out again. “Why can’t I reach anyone?” Then another thought hit him and he dialled again.

“Moshi moshi.”

 

“Tomo-chan?” Koichi sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. Listen, I have a huge problem here. I found Tsuyoshi’s meds in the bath room. The package is still sealed, even though he got it over two weeks ago. Now I can’t reach him and neither Chiba-sensei.”

There was a short silence on the other end. Then, “Kou-chan, where are you right now?”

“At home,” Koichi said miserably. “Why did he…”

“Okay,” Nagase interrupted him, “don’t jump to conclusions just yet, okay? I’ll be there in a few minutes. Leave everything as you’ve found it. And don’t do anything rash, I’ll be over at your place as soon as I possibly can.”

“Okay,” Koichi sighed out. “Shit,” he cursed after he’d hung up.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

“And you’re sure he doesn’t have another one?” Nagase asked carefully.

“We only get a new package when the old one is almost out,” Koichi said agitatedly. “He must have skipped them for two weeks now.”

“But he did that before,” Nagase tried to reason.

“Yes, but we discussed it before,” Koichi shot right back. “Not to mention that last time turned out pretty bad. Tsuyoshi had a lapse and after that he got new meds.”

“I’m sorry,” Nagase said sympathetically.

 

“What on earth is going on?” Koichi demanded desperately, tears starting to sting his eyes.

“Calm down,” Nagase told him. “Talk to him when he comes back. Look, I know you’re upset, but maybe there’s still an explanation. I mean, Tsuyoshi hasn’t done anything reckless in forever.”

Koichi nodded, sniffing. “Okay,” he sighed. “Will you wait with me until he gets back?”

“Sure,” Nagase smiled at him.

“Thank you.”

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Tadaima,” Tsuyoshi declared as he came into the living room.

Koichi was cowering on the sofa and at first Tsuyoshi thought he was taking a nap. The next second he froze, though, as he spotted the little package of pills on the living room table. He panicked.

“Ano… Koichi?” he asked warily.

“Why?” Koichi asked simply.

 

Tsuyoshi sighed as he sat down next to his lover, but Koichi quickly scooted away, hugging the blanket he had pulled over his shoulders closer.

“Will you listen to me?” Tsuyoshi asked timidly.

Koichi just gave a short nod, not looking at him.

“Okay. Listen, I… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Chiba-sansei said I should so he could…”

Koichi’s head suddenly flew up to look at him. “Chiba-sensei? You saw him? He knows about this?”

 

“Of course I saw him,” Tsuyoshi stated firmly. “I would never just skip my meds without consultation. What are you thinking?”

“I was wondering why you would lie to me,” Koichi shot at him, “and that seemed a very good reason.”

Tsuyoshi cringed at the sight of his pained lover. “Koichi, I’m really sorry. I… after my last lapse I didn’t want you to be so worried when we stop the medication.”

“And what – now you think I’m unconcerned?!” Koichi yelled out, tears coming to his eyes.

“No, I…” Tsuyoshi tried desperately. “Look, I didn’t mean… I’m really sorry. Please, don’t cry. Let me explain.”

 

But Koichi shook his head. “No, I can’t hear that right now,” he decided.

Now that he knew there was no immediate danger, that Tsuyoshi was under inspection and he should feel relieved, his anger welled up intensely.

“Whatever explanation you might have,” Koichi told him, “save it. I…  Arhg!”

With that the older man got up and fled the room. Tsuyoshi sighed, closing his eyes. He went after his lover and found him in their bed room, roaming through his wardrobe and randomly pulling a few pieces out and into a small bag.

 

“What are you doing?” Tsuyoshi asked warily.

“Staying at Nagase’s for tonight,” Koichi informed him flatly. “I don’t want to throw you out as I don’t know your exact condition, but right now I can’t see you.”

“Koichi,” Tsuyoshi tried to soothe him, but Koichi jumped right in his face.

“Don’t talk to me now,” the older man demanded harshly. “And don’t call. I don’t want to see or hear you, do you understand that?”

 

Tsuyoshi nodded, shocked at the outburst.

“You… stupid asshole!” Koichi yelled at him and with that ran out the room and the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

Tsuyoshi looked miserably after his lover.

 

Fuck…

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, so here's the starting point of the new issue. This time Tsuyoshi is causing trouble. I really think he never means to hurt Koichi in any way, but by trying to keep him all cuddly and away from anything bothersome he might actually annoy and anger Koichi sometimes. If I were Koichi I'd totally freak at the situation too. I mean, Tsuyoshi first tried to keep his illness and everything from Koichi. Once that is out  Koichi finds Tsuyoshi trying to commit suicide. And here he is and Tsuyoshi is apparently keeping stuff from him again, so naturally all sorts of fantasies will come to his head. And then he learns that his aggravation was manily over nothing, just because Tsuyoshi didn't want to confront him. This is gonna be tough. And then there's still the issue that the meds are off now.