Love Episodes - Episode 17: Roxanne

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Pairing: KinKi Kids
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Don't own KinKi Kids, or anything JE-related
Warnings: none
Multi-Chapter


Inrtoduction: This happens just some time after the last episode. Something like an every day life routine seems to be established again between the two lovers. But then, out of the blue, unwanted feelings arise and seem to throw everything back into chaos.

Tsuyoshi was standing in the kitchen, cutting carrots when he heard the door fall shut. He smiled idly at the return of his lover.

“Okaeri,” he announced, shouting out into the corridor.

“Tadaima,” he heard a happy voice reply.

Not even a minute later Koichi stuck his head into the kitchen.

“Is it safe?” he asked, grinning.

“Quite,” Tsuyoshi informed him. “I’ll take a few more minutes, though. I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

 

“Never mind,” Koichi waved him off, sniffing. “What’s for dinner?”

“Hayashi rice,” the younger boy stated firmly. “And before you complain, we haven’t had it in three months, I’ve kept a diary on that so I can prove it if necessary.”

Koichi blinked, then he laughed heartily. “You did not,” he dared the other.

“Wanna see?” Tsuyoshi asked, raising a brow.

“No, really?” the older boy gaped. “Goodness, if you like it so bad, we can have it more often. It’s not like I really mind, I’m just not a big fan, is all.”

 

“Thanks,” Tsuyoshi smiled. “You go get changed. Or play some of your video games, if you like. I’ll let you know when I’m done here.”

“Really?” Koichi beamed. “Playtime! YAYS!!!!!!”

With that he carefree boy was out the door and Tsuyoshi could here him fumble around in their living room. He shook his head, smiling.

 

So easily pleased.

 

After their dinner they did the dishes together, reviewing their days and telling each other what they had experienced.

“And Nagase said he will never wear anything with feathers on it again,” Koichi said in an amused voice. “By the way, he’s asked me to ask you to please look at their costume concept, if you have the time and… well, optimise it for him.”

“I can do that,” Tsuyoshi grinned. “But then he’ll have to live with bandages and bags and furs and stuff.”

“He said `anything that doesn’t flap´,” Koichi cited.

Tsuyoshi laughed out at that. “Fine with me. I’ll see what I can do.”

“All done,” Koichi declared happily. He sighed. “Ah, what a day.”

“Yeah, you haven’t had a break since 1 p.m.,” Tsuyoshi mused, sounding a bit worried. “Why do you keep doing that SHOCK-thing anyway? Just keep with your solo concept.”

“I like SHOCK,” Koichi told him. “And it’s only for a while, so it’s fine.”

“At least we’re off tomorrow,” Tsuyoshi commented.

“Oh,” Koichi burst out, slapping his forehead. “Listen, about that lunch and movie thing….”

“Yes?” the younger boy asked warily.

 

“I’m really sorry,” Koichi said, looking apologetically, “but I had to cancel today’s photo shoot. There were some serious technical problems, so we had to reschedule for tomorrow.”

“And you can’t do it the day after?” Tsuyoshi asked, sounding disappointed. “Or next week?”

Koichi shook his head sadly. “Sorry, no. The flyers are in the making and they absolutely need the pictures for distributing.”

“I see,” Tsuyoshi sighed. Then he lifted his head again, smiling awkwardly. “Can’t be helped, then. Some other time?”

 

“For sure,” the older boy stated firmly. “Actually, I’m planning to make it up to you by the weekend.”

Koichi tried to smile encouragingly, but the other was yet too taken aback by the news to come back to a comfortable feeling.

“I….” Koichi tried to ease the tension out of the situation, “I’ll go take a shower, okay?”

Tsuyoshi nodded, sitting down on the couch. He heard when Koichi closed the door to their bathroom, sinking into the fabric more deeply with a sigh.

 

Working. Gosh. Well, it’s happened before that he had to cancel a date for work issues. It’s not something he does a lot, but it’s been known. It’s not all that unusual. Just a bit unusual. But we’re often unusual, so it’s not that big a deal. I’ve cancelled dates too. More than him even, I think. He really tries hard to spend a lot of spare time with me. Well, lately he’s been very busy. But with Shock running, I suppose that’s quite normal?

 

Tsuyoshi bit his lip in anguish. He looked in the direction of their bed and bath room. Koichi was still under the shower. Without a second thought Tsuyoshi jumped up, ran back into the corridor and searched Koichi’s jacket.

 

Not here.

 

He moved on into their bed room, fumbling around in Koichi’s clothes.

 

Nothing.

 

Then his gaze fell upon the little desk that had a small black book on it. Tsuyoshi grabbed the item fiercely, opening it and flapping threw the pages madly, looking for the current date. It said:

 

13:30: Shock photo shoot with MA

 

but the note was crossed out with a red pen. He switched to the next page quickly, reading:

 

13:45: Re-schedule for Shock photo shoot with MA   .

 

Tsuyoshi sighed in relief. Then his eyes grew wide and his hands started to shake. He dropped the book onto the floor as though it had suddenly burnt him, looking at it in utter shock. He shook his head madly, fisting into his hair as he sat down on the bed miserably.

 

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Koichi opened the door to the bath room with a sigh. “Feels much better,” he decided. “Ne, Tsuyoshi?” he asked, looking for the other.

As he walked into their shared bed room he froze in the door. Tsuyoshi was sitting on the bed, his face buried in his hands and sobbing.

“Tsuyoshi,” Koichi called out immediately, hurrying to the other’s side. “What happened?! Are you okay? Are you lapsing? Do you need any meds?”

The other boy did not respond in any way, which had Koichi panic. “Tsuyoshi, please, say something. I want to help you. Do you need anything? Shall I call a doctor?”

“No,” Tsuyoshi finally heaved out. “No, I….” then he broke off again.

“What is it?” Koichi asked desperately.

The younger boy merely pointed to the floor, averting his face. As Koichi followed the pointing finger, he saw his schedule book on the floor. He blinked, then got up to pick it up from the floor. He looked at it closely, then back to Tsuyoshi on the bed.

“What about it?” the older boy asked worriedly.

“I….” Tsuyoshi sobbed out. “I’m sorry, I…. I just…. I didn’t think, I just…”

Koichi just looked at his lover, unsure in concerns of what to do or what had actually happened.

 

“I thought….” Tsuyoshi explained, “I thought you never really cancel dates for work. Well, I mean, it has happened, but usually you don’t and after…..” he licked dry lips, and cleared his throat. “I got carried away. I thought what if you lied about that photo shoot? What if you’re actually doing something else – or someone else, rather. It’s stupid, I know. But I’ve rarely seen you lately. And for you to cancel our first date in two weeks. It had me wonder. And I thought… it is actually possible. You’ve done it before, you lied to me. So what if you do it again? I don’t really believe it, but I can’t know and so I…. raged through the entire apartment to check your book. When I read your schedule, I was so relieved, but then I realised…..”

 

Koichi looked at the other with a pained expression on his face.

“You don’t trust me,” he concluded.

“I do,” Tsuyoshi wanted to object, but the moment he said the words he knew that he didn’t really mean them. “I want to,” he tried to gain some ground again.

“I see,” Koichi sighed out, sitting down next to the other on the bed. He looked at the other. “What can I do to gain your trust again?” he asked, looking scared.

“I don’t know,” Tsuyoshi sighed.

 

“You don’t have to do this in secret, you know,” Koichi informed him. “You can read this every day, if you like,” he offered. “Well, not every day, perhaps, there’d be no point, but you can ask me for it any time.”

“There is no good in that,” the younger boy stated. “What would come of that? The situation won’t improve at all, just because I keep a watch on you and spy on your everyday business.”

“Okay,” Koichi nodded. “But then, what?” he asked helplessly.

“I really don’t know,” the other admitted sadly.

“I… I’ll come to our date tomorrow,” Koichi decided. “I’ll re-schedule again and…”

Tsuyoshi laughed lightly. “That’s very sweet. And I appreciate your effort, but I don’t think that’ll do the trick.”

Koichi sunk his head sadly. “Is there nothing I can do?”

There was a longer silence and Koichi had to fight back upcoming tears of his own.

“There is,” Tsuyoshi’s voice sounded more clearly through the room again. “There is something you can do,” he said, finally looking at Koichi again.

“What is it?” the older boy wanted to know.

 

“Wait,” the other stated simply. “Give me some time to really figure this out. I promise I’ll work hard on my view and opinion. Can you wait a little bit for me to trust you again?”

Koichi blinked at him. He bit his lip against upcoming tears, but at that point it was to no avail. Even as he nodded his head, small trails ran down his face.

“Sorry,” he whispered out, wiping the offending drops away.

 

“It’s okay,” Tsuyoshi said. “I feel quite the same,” he admitted.

“But I have no right to feel like that,” the older boy decided. “I betrayed you. So naturally, you’re gonna be wary of my sincerity. It’s just…. it hurts,” he said simply.

“I’ll try to solve this as soon as possible, I promise,” Tsuyoshi stated firmly, rubbing Koichi’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Okay,” Koichi nodded again. “I’ll just….. go to bed.”

Tsuyoshi nodded, getting up from the bed and heading for the shower himself.

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This is kind of tough, but I figured thatit had to happen. It's one thing to say I understand what happened and I forgive you. But getting rid of the nagging feeling that the same thing might happen again, that is a totally different matter. But being the good girl that I am, I'm double up-dating to avoid an evil cliff-hanger. >^_^<