Love Episodes - Episode 16: Love Me More

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Pairing: KinKi Kids
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own KinKi Kids, or anything JE-related
Warnings: bit of angst, graphic sex scenes, some bad words
Multi-Chapter


Introduction: Some time after Koichi has moved back in with Tsuysohi after the recent events. (I'm sorry, I skipped the story-line where they move back in together, I hope it's not too confusing. ^_^" ) While they agree that they still love each other and want to be together... the human mind is a complicated thing and so emotions are running high as the two of them try to find their close bond again.


Note: I know they alraedy had this "I want you" scene at the end of the last episode. But I think that being in public and just feeling relieved, something like that would come more easily. But once you're back to being together just with the other person in an intimate surrounding, I think that's when feelings of awkwardness might arise. So, here's the story.

Koichi sat down on the bed nervously. He was still facing away from Tsuyoshi and had trouble working out what to do next. He licked his lips nervously, waiting for a few moments, hoping that Tsuyoshi would take over and guide him through the awkward situation. It seemed, however, that Tsuyoshi either did not care to assist him, or was equally lost. Neither of them spoke, which was not that uncommon for them when being together in one room, but they had never experienced the desperate feeling of needing to say something, but being totally blank. Finally Tsuyoshi sighed.

 

“Okay, that doesn’t work,” he concluded.

“So, what now?” Koichi asked, still not turning around to look at the other.

“Well,” Tsuyoshi mused, “maybe it’s too early. Perhaps one of us should go sleep in the living room,” he suggested.

Koichi made a face. “What?! That’s the same as sleeping at Nagase’s,” the older boy complained.

“First,” Tsuyoshi retorted, “it’s not the same. And second, I didn’t say you have to go, I said maybe one of us should go.”

 

“So you volunteer for a night on the couch?” Koichi asked pointedly.

“If that would make you feel any better, then, yes, I’ll go,” the younger boy said firmly.

“But that’s stupid,” Koichi opposed. “We’re not fighting, or anything. Why can’t we both sleep here?”

“This is different from a normal fight. We.... still need some time to settle back down,” Tsuyoshi declared.

 

Koichi, however, shook his head. Finally he turned around to look at the other. “I don’t think that’s what it is,” he stated. “It’s okay to be together in the kitchen, or the living room. No awkwardness there. But now it’s different. Why?”

“Well....” Tsuyoshi broke off, looking helplessly at Koichi.

“Do you actually not want me here?” Koichi wanted to know.

“That’s not it,” Tsuyoshi neglected, shaking his head. “Well, it might be bothersome for me to sleep together.”

“Why?” Koichi asked timidly.

 

“Why?!” Tsuyoshi demanded. “What are you thinking? You slept with someone else. You shared with someone you don’t even remember the name of what I have only ever shared with you. You were touched and kissed, and..... it wasn’t me. There’s this guy who.... got to know you like that, who saw you, heard you, felt you, and.... I can’t help thinking about it when I think of touching you.”

Koichi was speechless. There was nothing he could add to that. Tears shone in his eyes as he fully took in how Tsuyoshi felt at the moment. He blinked them away, taking a deep breath.

 

“I really fucked up,” Koichi concluded, shifting his gaze away again.

“What, now you realise that?” Tsuyoshi asked sarcastically.

“But there’s nothing I can do,” Koichi said helplessly. “I can’t take it back. If I could, I’d do it. Absolutely. But there’s no undoing it. But I love you.” He broke off, tears welling up again.

“I know,” Tsuyoshi said, eyes closed, for he was prune to starting to cry as well.

“I’m sorry,” Koichi whispered.

“I know,” Tsuyoshi answered again, in an equally silent voice. He took a deep breath. “I love you too,” he added, “but right now there are some things that are difficult for me, do you understand that?”

 

Koichi nodded, then realised that Tsuyoshi could not see that, so he turned back to face the other, saying “Yes, I see.”

Tsuyoshi opened his eyes again and nodded. He smiled at Koichi. “Hey, there’s nothing we haven’t covered already. We’ll see this through, you will see.”

Koichi nodded again, trying to smile back slightly. “Just....”

“Hm?” Tsuyoshi wanted to know.

“You said you’re troubled when you think of touching me,” Koichi rewised.

Tsuyoshi nodded.

 

“But.... I mean,” Koichi looked awkwardly at him, “ if we really just sleep together – I mean just lie down, don’t you think that would be okay?”

Tsuyoshi chuckled at the helpless expression on Koichi’s face. “What’s that?” he asked.

Koichi pouted a bit. “Well, I only just got you back and.... I don’t want to sleep without you,” he declared.

“I see,” Tsuyoshi pondered, sounding amused. “You mean, if we just leave the idea of sex out, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

Koichi smiled hopefully.

Tsuyoshi, however, looked sceptical. “I don’t know,” he said. “Don’t you think that’s dangerous? If we sleep together, but don’t sleep with each other? Might kill our sex-life altogether.”

“It’s not gonna be forever, right?” Koichi asked.

“No, absolutely not,” Tsuyoshi laughed out. “I just wonder if it’s not gonna make things more complicated.”

 

“The most complicated is for me to yell good morning to you, because you’re not in the same room,” Koichi told him.

Tsuyoshi just shook his head, smiling. “Fine, you win.”

“Eh?” Koichi blinked.

“Let’s sleep here together and go from there. Perhaps you’re right, it might be a first step to a fresh beginning.”

And so they both lay down, feeling quite comfortable, enjoying the feeling of another person next to them as they fell asleep.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Unfortunately, Tsuyoshi’s first idea proved to be true. They kept sleeping in the same bed together for two weeks, but never once tried to make a move to anything intimate. They were both getting frustrated with the situation, as it did not improve on either side.

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Koichi complained desperately. “Tsuyoshi won’t touch me. But then, I’m the one who cheated, so I can’t exactly just jump him and get going.”

“He might wait for you to touch him, though,” Nagase suggested. “After all, he was the one who said to seperate for sleeping. Maybe he’s thinking that making a first step is inappropriate.”

Koichi made a face. “What kind of logic is that?”

Nagase shrugged. “Just an idea. One of you should definitely get a move on, though, or else your relationship is done for.”

Koichi sighed, nodding. “Absolutely.”

 

 _________________________________________________________________________________________________

“What do you suggest I should do?” Tsuyoshi asked helplessly. “I mean, he was the one who didn’t even want to seperate for sleeping. And now he doesn’t advance me in the slightest. He hasn’t even tried to kiss me ever since he moved back in.”

“So, why don’t you?” Okada suggested. “Just go for it.”

Tsuyoshi shook his head. “I was the one who wanted to get some space. I can’t just jump him now and get going.”

“But don’t you think that since you were the one who suggested to wait, Koichi does just that now, waiting for you to make a first step?”

 

Tsuyoshi thought on that for a second, then shook his head. “That’s not Koichi’s way of thinking. Plus, he’s the impatient type anyway. What do I do, though?”

“Just go home and blow him. He’s gonna be so high, he won’t care about the who-started-it-issue.”

“Idiot,” Tsuyoshi snorted, slapping Okada.

 

 _________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The shower was on when Tsuyoshi came back home. He smiled softly.

 

Koichi....

 

Then he thought of Koichi in the shower, his hands rubbing soap all over his body and he thought how he would love to go up and replace those hands with his own, make Koichi entirely his own again, touch him, kiss him.... He thought how Koichi would get hard at his touch – at his touch; how he would be needy because it were Tsuyoshi’s hands on his body and how he would voice his pleasure and softly sigh Tsuyoshi’s name.....

 

Tsuyoshi shook his head to clear it. There was no thinking of that. They hadn’t even come to kissing again just yet. There was no way they’d do anything else. Tsuyoshi sighed as he went through the hallway to their private rooms.

“Tadaima,” he called out in the direction of the bathroom, sitting down on the bed heavily.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ah. Hot water. Feels good on sore muscles. I can’t believe we finished rehearsing“Shock” tonight. Well, it’s been a long day. Mh....

 

Koichi enjoyed the hot spray of the shower. Tsuyoshi was still out working.

 

Tsuyoshi....

 

Koichi thought how Tsuyoshi would touch him, if he were there with him, warm hands, tender caresses on his skin. He bit his lip in excitement. Tsuyoshi’s hands on his body, roaming, teasing, then pleasuring him..... His hand wandered down to his cock, touching lightly. He licked his lips. It felt good, it had been so long and the fantasy was so exciting..... He could, just for the moment. There was nothing wrong with a bit of ease, after all. He grasped the length, which already twitched in excitement.

 

“Tadaima,” he heard Tsuyoshi call from the bedroom.

Koichi squeezed his eyes shut.

 

Fuck!

 

Then he sighed, leaving the task at hand for another time.

“I’ll be right out,” he called back. “Oh, Okaeri!”

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Tsuyoshi chuckled at Koichi’s answer.

“Don’t distress yourself,” he told the other.

He kept sitting on the bed, waiting for Koichi to finish his shower and then get one himself. He thought about just going in to join the other only for a second, before he shook his head, discarding the idea again. After about another two minutes Koichi came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his hips, heading towards his wardrobe.

“Sorry, had double rehearsal tonight and thought I’d soak a bit,” he said absentmindedly.

“Not a problem,” Tsuyoshi assured him, getting up.

 

They both seemed quite preoccupied as they passed each other. Not really looking where they were actually going they tried to pass each other quickly to avoid awkwardness. A rather tricky mission, for Koichi tripped over Tsuyoshi’s foot, overbalanced helplessly, grabbed onto Tsuyoshi for help, unfortunately dragged him down with him, and then, trying to shield him, turned them about, landing with his back flat on the bed and Tsuyoshi spread out on top of him. They blinked at each other. Then, suddenly Tsuyoshi burst out laughing. Koichi looked up at him, confused. Tsuyoshi grinned down at him.

 

“Look at us, here,” he told Koichi, still laughing. “How bad do we actually want it to end up like this?

Koichi blinked once more, then looked at their position again and started to laugh as well.

“I was actually jerking off in there, thinking of you,” he admitted.

“Really?” Tsuyoshi asked, raising a brow at that information. Then he grinned boyishly at the other. “Okada said to blow you. Care?”

Koichi grinned back. “Okada is such a perv,” he mock-complained. “But I guess that’s why he gets some rather good ideas, ne?”

 

“Sounds like you’re into it,” Tsuyohsi mused, rubbing against the other suggestively.

“Mh,” Koichi sighed happily at the contact. “Maybe.....”

Tsuyoshi moved a bit closer, hovering his face over Koichi’s. “Don’t you think we should kiss first?” he suggested playfully.

Instead of answering that, Koichi just grabbed Tsuyoshi by the back of his head and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. The younger boy answered immediately, kissing the other back forcefully, delighted with the joy of feeling Koichi.

 

“Oh god, I’ve wanted to do this forever,” Koichi whispered, caressing Tsuyoshi’s back lovingly.

“Forget that,” Tsuyoshi told him hurriedly. “Do it now.”

They kissed again and Tsuyoshi could already feel the other boy getting excited. He broke the kiss to whisper into Koichi’s ear.

“Needy brat,” he teased his lover.

“Fucking tease,” Koichi shot back, biting his lip. “Ah.....”

“So, how about that blow-job?” Tsuyoshi asked teasingly.

“You go right ahead,” the younger boy told him. “But if you plan to put it in, I suggest you skip that. I don’t think I’ll last.”

Tsuyoshi chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me,” he murmured.

With that he easily slid down Koichi’s body, kneeling down on the floor.

“Move a bit forward,” he told the other, “I can’t reach.”

Koichi shifted shortly, willingly offering his exposed hips. Then there were hands on him. First on his sides, tickling him lightly, then on his stomach, caressing softly, on his hips, rubbing slowly, and moving to the outsides of his thighs, squeezing a bit. Tsuyoshi first grasped the length with deft fingers, remembering the feel, smoothing up and down a bit. The boy grinned as it twitched in his hands.

 

“Like that?” he asked innocently.

“Mh,” Koichi sighed out. “More.”

“Happily,” Tsuyoshi obliged, bringing his head forward and licking Koichi’s dick softly.

“Oh yeah,” the older boy moaned, bucking slightly.

“Now, now,” Tsuyoshi warned him. “You keep your hips at bay down there.”

“Sorry,” Koichi smiled. “Guess I’m too excited.”

“Can’t you tell?” Tsuyoshi mused, licking the length again.

“Will you stop the teasing,” Koichi demanded.

 

“What, you just want to come?” Tsuyoshi inquired, blinking.

“Don’t you?” Koichi shot right back.

“Point,” Tsuyoshi grinned and with that put his mouth around the tip of Koichi’s cock, sucking lightly.

His hand kept stroking the base as he felt Koichi rise at his ministrations. He licked a bit again, then put more of it into his mouth, just sliding up and down a bit. Every now and then he would suck again, always earning him a sharp intake of breath. Koichi was really overly excited, so Tsuyoshi decided to release him. His hand went a bit further down to grab and roll Koichi’s balls as he put all of the length into his mouth, sucking in earnest.

 

Koichi gasped. “Nah!” He bit his lip and tried to keep himself from bucking, but couldn’t restrain it completely. He pushed up rapidly a few times, breath heaving. Then he sighed needily as he released, stomach convulsing pleasurably. It had been quick, but he hadn’t come in a while and so he really didn’t mind and simply basked in the glow.

“Swallowed too,” Koichi mumbled out. “Comes on as though you were making up to me.”

Tsuyoshi pushed up from the floor. “Well, you were so into it, I saw no reason to interrupt.”

Koichi grinned. “I’ll never get how you do that in the first place.”

“Do what?” the younger boy blinked.

“Put all of it in,” Koichi answered. “I really can’t do it.”

“It’s a rare gift, I suppose,” Tsuyoshi shrugged. “So you had better be happy your boyfriend is a blow-job-genius.”

“You can say that again,” Koichi chuckled.

 

Then the older boy sat up, looking at his lover. “But what to do with you now?” he mused.

“Oh, that’s quite simple,” Tsuyoshi told him. “Get me off.”

“Certainly,” Koichi grinned. “Any preferences?”

“I’d prefer it now,” Tsuyoshi mused teasingly.

“I would have thought so,” Koichi retorted. “You don’t suppose you could wait two minutes?”

“For what?” the younger boy asked.

“I’ll need some time to stretch,” Koichi told him.

 

Tsuyoshi blinked at him. “But.... there’s no need,” he told the other. “Just pull me off and  that’ll be alright.”

“For a first time after so long, `alright´ certainly won’t do,” the older boy decided, grabbing the lube from the nightstand drawer.

Tsuyoshi just kept staring at the other.

“What?” Koichi asked, blushing a bit. “Stop gawking. Go, get a rubber.”

The younger boy practically jumped to his feet, fumbling in his night stand.

 

“You can work it up too while I’m occupied here,” Koichi added playfully, shifting to look in Tsuyoshi’s direction.

“Ah, of course,” Tsuyoshi dragged out. “I forgot – you like to watch.”

Koichi just shrugged. “I get a show, you get to fuck.”

“Sounds like a very good deal for me,” Tsuyoshi grinned, first discarding his own clothing quickly, then fishing a condom out of a drawer as he started to work his own cock.

He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling. Rubbing and pulling at his length, he looked over at Koichi who was working himself too, a bit further down, already two fingers in and stretching carefully.

The youger boy’s face flushed as he watched his lover pleasure himself, cock getting hard and full as he watched Koichi on the bed.

“Mh,” Tsuyoshi sighed, his free hand bracing against the wall for better balance, as his head fell down lazily.

The hand on his dick started to rub more quickly, though. Koichi got seriously excited at the sight.

“Gosh,” he sighed, “I think I might come again.”

“Been too long,” Tsuyoshi retorted absentmindedly.

 

“Absolutely,” Koichi agreed as he grabbed his own length to make it rise again.

Sure enough, his cock answered readily to the ministrations, making the older boy gasp and heave again.

“Okay, I think I’m quite ready,” Tsuyoshi told his lover. “How about you?”

“Just one finger short,” he remarked, as he kept working his hole. “Should be okay, though. Just be careful.”

Tsuyoshi looked sceptically at him. “I dare not make promises on that.”

Koichi smiled at him. “It’s okay, I trust you to watch out for me. Come,” he told the other, holding out his left hand.

 

Tsuyoshi answered immediately, walking over to his lover, who took him by the hand and pulled him on top of him, legs spread out to give Tsuyoshi enough space.

Koichi sighed in delight. “Ah, I had forgotten how good it is to feel you like this.”

“Maybe we should have longer sex-breaks more often,” Tsuyoshi suggested teasingly.

“Not any time soon,” Koichi grinned. “Now, fuck me.”

 

They quickly arranged themselves on the bed, Tsuyoshi making sure he had a good position. Then the younger boy pushed Koichi’s legs up and out of the way. Koichi complied readily, helping his lover as best he could. Lathering his cock up good, Tsuyoshi caressed his lover’s stomach softly, looking lovingly at him. Koichi just nodded once, pushing up a bit more and Tsuyoshi answered readily, placing his dick at Koichi entrance and pushing slowly. He used his hands for smooth entry, pausing every now and then, circling a bit to loosen his lover further. Koichi huffed quickly at the intrusion.

“Hurt?” Tsuyoshi asked, concerned.

“Bit,” Koichi answered with gritted teeth. “But nothing I can’t handle.”

“Are you really okay?” Tsuyoshi inquired.

“I’ll be much better once you get to it,” Koichi told him.

The younger boy smiled. “Okay, let’s give it a try, then,” he suggested, starting to move slowly, pushing carefully.

“Nh,” Koichi gasped out in discomfort, but immediately added, “Keep going, it’s fine.”

After a few more pushes the older boy sighed in relief as his body gave way completely.

“Good?” Tsuyoshi asked, sounding very concentrated.

Koichi nodded. “Good. Go,” he told the other.

 

Tsuyoshi nodded back. “You pull yourself, though. I don’t think I’ll last either.”

Koichi chuckled, grabbing his dick again. “Right,” he answered, starting to rub it.

The younger boy started to push stronger and more enthusiastically. “Oh god, Koichi....”

Koichi sighed as he heard his lover call out for him, pushing back against frantic thrusts.

“Ah!” Tsuyoshi called out in surprise. “You’re gonna hurt,” he told his lover.

“I’ll be fine,” Koichi assured the other, as he kept pushing up. He licked his lips. “Can you just slow a bit?”

 

Tsuyoshi did as he was asked, if regretfully. The older boy pulled and rubbed his cock frantically, moaning and sighing in pleasure.

“Oh god..... oh yeah.....”

“Nh, come,” Tsuyoshi told his lover and Koichi complied, convulsing involuntarily as he shot out for the second time that night.

The younger boy looked down at his spent lover, not daring to speed up his own movements again, before being given permission. Koichi sighed satedly.

“Mh,” he mumbled. “Tsuyoshi....” he whispered out. “You come too.”

 

Being told that Tsuyoshi increased his efforts for his own release again. He leant down a bit to cover Koichi’s body fully and the other boy brought his arms up immediately to bring him closer still. Leaning forward they kissed slowly, tongues playing lazily. Koichi smiled into the kiss, as he felt Tsuyoshi tense up a bit. He released the other boy, nodding at him. Nodding back Tsuyoshi pushed himself up a bit more again, thrusting more sharply. Gritting his teeth a bit, the older boy started to push back a bit again as well. And that did it. With a few more pushes Tsuyoshi reached his orgasm, shuddering delightfully and sighing in release. He gasped, closing his eyes as his body went totally lax.

“Sorry,” he panted out, “can I just for a moment?”

“Of course,” Koichi smiled up at him, embracing the other and bringing him down to cover his body again.

They kept lying like that, basking and letting their breathing even out. After a while, Tsuyoshi sighed, pushing himself up again. Koichi looked up at him affectionately. He brought up a hand to trace the outline of the younger boy’s face.

“I love you,” he declared, eyes shining happily.

Tsuyoshi smiled back at him, kissing Koichi’s palm softly. “I love you too,” he whispered back, leaning down and pecking Koichi’s lips lightly.

 

“Okay, now I need to get up,” Koichi decided.

Tsuyoshi complied and pulled out of his lover, sitting up. “I really need a shower,” he analysed.

Koichi got up readily, wincing only slightly as he pushed himself up. “I do your back, you do mine,” he offered lightly.

The younger boy nodded happily, getting up again as well. They chuckled as they kept touching each other teasingly on the way to the shower.

 

“Maybe we should call in sick tomorrow,” Koichi mused.

“I told you, you’ll hurt,” Tsuyoshi scolded.

Koichi grinned at him. “Well, if it’s not bad enough yet, maybe you can still make it.”

“Idiot,” Tsuyoshi commented, ruffling Koichi’s hair playfully as they shut the door to the bathroom.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, so I brought in some smut and they seem to be diong a lot better. I just want to extend this story-line a bit more to show how the aftermath of this event will affect their relationship and how it will develop. Hope I made some people happy with this one. ^_^