authors_paradise | Addicted to LOVE - Chapter 6: The art of moving on

Pairing: Koichi/Tackey, some light Koichi Nagase and... KoTsu (don't even ask me -_-# )
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own KinKi Kids, or anything JE-related
Warnings: Swearing, sexual situations
Multi-Chapter

Intro: Tackey is trying to find a way to help Koichi in his situation, but then finds himself troubled as well. Koichi is confronted with a very uncomfortable situation and turns to the one he loves the most...

Notes: I am BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!! Wah, it feels like I've been away forever. I was really sick and then I had to start working. I've been working on this chapter all week, since I can't spend so much time on writing anymore. Now it's finally done. I don't know what to say. I didn't want to make it KoTsu in any way. But somehow... there were so many things and then this picture would stick in my head and... well, it turned out like this. I'm very curious about reactions to this.

Tsuyoshi bundled all of his will together to remain motionless and not act spontaneously, or say anything. He could hear Koichi fumbling with his phone. It still felt inappropriate, but at the very least Tackey knew their entire story. Well, maybe not all of it, but some things were simply between him and his partner and should remain just there. He bit his lip nervously as Koichi got up and moved past him towards the door. It was almost physically painful to remain silent, but he knew it would be easier for both of them if he simply kept out of things. Then suddenly Koichi stopped.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me where in the world I’m heading off to in the middle of work?” Koichi asked sarcastically.

Tsuyoshi sighed inwardly. Fantastic, Koichi wanted to play. Well, they had been handling these things in a special manner. It was time, though, to change patterns, Tsuyoshi decided.
“Out for a smoke?” he suggested, not even looking up from his magazine.
A longer silence followed. Apparently, Koichi was confused with his reaction. Quite understandable too, every time Koichi had strolled off to one of his “special” meetings he had tried to interfere as best he could. But not today.
“And you’re not giving me a speech on how it’s bad for my health?” Koichi suggested, sounding confused, but also a bit sad.

Tsuyoshi put his magazine down and looked at Koichi.
“I’ve given you speeches for years,” he explained, “but apparently, I can’t reach you. So, do whatever you think is good for you. I cannot and will not keep you.”
“You always tried, though,” Koichi retorted.
“It’s getting old,” Tsuyoshi informed his partner, his voice sounding rather indifferent and he knew that he was doing a good job of it, but it still hurt like hell.
But really, all of his attempts had never gotten him anywhere, so he had to try something different. No matter he had to suffer at it as well.

“Well, in that case, I might also stay out for a drink,” Koichi told him coldly and with that opened the door and swished out.
Tsuyoshi sank back into the chair with a sigh. It was tough taking care of Koichi. But he absolutely had to help his partner out of his misery. Right then he was feeling quite miserable himself, though. Bending slightly he grabbed his phone from the table, pressing a few buttons and holding it to his ear. He bit his lip as he waited to the connection to be made. Then he smiled as he heard a voice at the other end.
“Shinji? Hi. Listen, it seems I’m getting off work unexpectedly early. Want to meet for shopping?”

_________________________________________________________________________________________

“Door’s open,” Koichi heard a voice from within the office after he’d knocked.
He simply went in, closing the door right behind him again.
“Missed me so much?” Koichi asked teasingly, a smirk on his face. “It’s only been – what, two days?”
“Well, I don’t see you complaining,” Tackey retorted playfully. “You came right running.”
“Oh, I’m a good employee, always following the superior’s orders,” Koichi grinned, closing in on the other and giving him a rather soft peck on the lips.
“I’m not your superior,” Tackey retorted.

He was feeling quite strange. His eyes were closed and his heart was racing. Feeling Koichi against him had gotten so comfortably familiar, the warmth of his body and the slightly sweet smell he gave off.
“Maybe not on the paper,” Koichi gave him, his tongue sweeping over the younger’s lips playfully. “But everybody knows who to turn to when they want something… special…”
“Mh,” Tackey sighed at the sensations Koichi was causing in him.

He decided to dismiss the issue – at least for the moment, and enjoy the intimacy he was offered. Grabbing Koichi by the waist, he pulled the other close and took control of the kiss. He revelled in the feelings Koichi evoked in him. Soon there were tongues and nipping teeth and saliva and it made his body flush with warmth feeling the other against him. As the kiss was broken, Tackey kissed his way down Koichi’s throat, on to his neck, sucking and licking there lightly. He could hear Koichi sighing in delight and a rush of joy ran through his body. The thought that Koichi was enjoying it, that he could cause him to feel good, to feel wanted, to forget all of his worries and fears, that Koichi trusted him to take care of him and…

Koichi’s hand had gone straight to his crotch and was rubbing there pleasantly and Tackey moaned at the feeling. But then, the very next second, his eyes flew open in horror. He almost roughly pushed Koichi away, putting a considerable distance between them. After collecting himself a bit, Koichi stared at Tackey in confusion.
“What now?” he demanded, as he advanced the other again. “Wanna play rough, or something?”

Tackey just stared at him. The picture in front of him scared and confused him. There were suddenly things in his mind he’d never felt before. Not like that, not for… him… He bit his lip. What was happening there? Suddenly the thought of simply taking Koichi there, that the other didn’t want anything of him but that… it hurt. Of course, Koichi allowed himself to be used, but at the same time, he was using Tackey just as much and in a flash the latter realised that he did not want that.

“Koichi,” Tackey finally rasped out, “I…” He shook his head. “Please, go.”
Koichi merely blinked at him. “What’s with that? What are you talking about? You called me here. Don’t you want to fuck?”
“Just leave me, already,” Tackey shot out.
“Well, fine,” Koichi grumbled out. “Next time never bother if you’re not in the mood. Asshole.”
With that Koichi was out the door again. Tackey slumped down in his desk chair. He gripped his hair so tight it hurt, eyes screwed shut and lips tight.
“Fuck.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________

“What do you mean, you can’t?” Tsuyoshi demanded irritatedly.
“I just couldn’t…” Tackey stuttered. “It was… I don’t know what’s happening with me. It was just so different from before. The way he felt against me, the way I kissed him, the way I wanted to touch him, I…”
“I don’t need details,” Tsuyoshi waved him off. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“I…” Tackey shook his head, a sad laugh escaping his throat. “I think I’m falling in love with him.”
“EH?!”
Tsuyoshi stared at the other in disbelief.

“I know,” Tackey sighed. “I don’t know how that happened. When it happened. But suddenly I want to… well… touch him tenderly and make him feel good and… take care of him somehow. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“I just don’t get it,” Tsuyoshi said irritatedly. “You like him, yet you won’t do him?”
“But I don’t want it to be like that,” Tackey suddenly burst out. “When I was holding him in my arms, it felt so good it made my heart swell. All he ever wants to do is get off. And I don’t want that sort of thing with him… anymore.”
“Koichi is not capable of loving someone,” Tsuyoshi told him. “Not as it is.”
“I know that,” the other spat at him. “That’s why I couldn’t… because it felt so wrong.”

Tsuyoshi sighed. “We have a problem now.”
“Don’t you think… there’s a way to win his heart?” Tackey asked carefully.
Tsuyoshi inspected him closely. “I… don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But you’re the first person to act about him like this.”
“What do you mean?” Tackey asked, blinking.
“Well, whoever knows his story will feel… well, sorry for him, because life will just keep bitching it him like that. You tried to keep things running. In his favour. And then, when you realised you couldn’t, you still didn’t confront him – telling him you knew all about his story and that you want to take care of him.”

“He’d flee into the next dimension if I did that,” Tackey argued.
“Agreed,” the other man nodded. “But it’s not just that you know that. It seems you… don’t even feel sorry for him.”
“Yes, I do,” Tackey opposed. “It’s rotten, all of what he’s stuck in. But what can I do about it?”
“That’s exactly the point,” Tsuyoshi explained. “You don’t go running and trying to take care of everything, solving his little problems for him to make his miserable life better. There is not a trace of pity in your attitude.”

“Why would I pity him?” the younger man asked. “He’s turned out gorgeous. He’s good-looking, talented, clever… I mean, of course, things have been rough on him, but really, if anything, you should admire him for what he has accomplished even so.”
Tsuyoshi considered him a while longer.
“Are you sure you could handle him?” he finally asked. “He’s moody, picky, bitchy, he has some very strange habits, he’s an almost irritating nerd, an insufferable know-it-all, his eating habits are disastrous, he’s totally messy and if you don’t kick his ass about certain things he will simply ignore them, no matter how important they might actually be. Not to mention, you’ll never be his number one.”
“Because that’s you,” Tackey analysed.

Tsuyoshi smirked back at him. “No. Pan-kun is always number one. But I guess you’ll have to row in third after me.”
Tackey chuckled a bit at that. “Sounds like fun.” The other merely kept looking at him and he sighed. “I get it. He’s not an easy character. What can I say?” he shrugged. “You never know how such things turn out. But I’d want to give it a try.”
Tsuyoshi nodded at that. “Well, for now we’ll have to wait and see.”
“See what?”
“What he’s gonna do now. There’s no telling how he took being pushed away by you. We have to wait for his immediate reaction. Listen, if he calls you, talk to him, okay? Tell him you were irritated about something else. Try to get a new basis.”

“Okay,” Tackey nodded.
“Well,” Tsuyoshi sighed. “For now that’s but what we can do. Go home now, I’ll do the same.”
“Right,” the other agreed. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
“Hey,” Tackey called him back once more.
“What?”

“I… Wouldn’t you be irritated if he found someone like that?” Tackey asked carefully.
Tsuyoshi smiled at him. “I love Koichi,” he explained. “And… quite honestly, if I could give him that sort of happiness, I would try and give it my very best. But I’m not the one who can do that, so what I can do is to try and help him find the one person who can.”
“And you won’t be jealous?” Tackey asked sceptically.
“What’s there to be jealous about, number three?” the other teased.
“Right,” the younger man grinned and with that nodded respectfully and left.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

“Thanks for having me over,” Koichi mumbled out.
“Not a problem,” Nagase smiled. “You can stay the night too, if you like.”
“Thanks,” Koichi said gratefully. “I really just want some company.”
“Someone bitch at you?” Nagase asked carefully.
The smaller man merely shook his head. “No such thing. I was just… bored.”
“Well, I have something to do about that,” his friend told him. “I just bought God of War III. Wanna have a go?”
“Sounds nice,” Koichi agreed.

And so a mere few minutes later the two guys were sitting on Nagase’s living room floor, each a playpad in hand and playing. The game was definitely to Koichi’s liking. It suited his current mood perfectly. Slaying evil monsters, about 120 per minute, was just the distraction he needed. He snickered lightly to himself as he thought that “bpm” would actually also be good to express “beasts per minute”, but then concentrated on his playing again. After taking a small sip from his strawberry milk, Koichi hit a power combination into his pad and practically cleared the entire field in one go.

“Hey,” Nagase complained. “That’s cheating.”
“It’s not,” Koichi retorted. “I just saved my energy well. Plus, we’re on this quest together, so it was in your favour too.”
“Yeah, but now you’re the only one getting ExP for this area,” Nagase kept nagging.
“Really, you’re such a girl,” Koichi said, rolling his eyes. “You’re just jealous because I’m the better gamer.”
“Oh yeah?” Nagase glared at him. “Fine, let’s make it a challenge. First one at the next portal wins.”
“It’s on,” Koichi grinned, concentrating on the screen again.

The following few minutes were filled with loads of bad language, playpad smashing, complaints, groans, even insults that gamers only dealt to each other when in gaming-frenzy. Like, they were really enemies for that battle, with everything that came with that. These things could be nasty, but they always remained in the gaming world, never touching their actual selves – meaning that everything was allowed. At the end of the battle Koichi smashed his arm up in triumph.
“Yeah!” he yelled out.
Nagase just stared at him in disbelief. “You just pushed me down that cliff. I can’t believe you actually fucking killed me.”

“Relax,” Koichi waved him off. “You have like how many tries left for now… six? I’ll give you my spare upgrade too, so nothing lost, okay?”
“You fucking pushed me down there,” Nagase kept accusing him.
“I win,” Koichi shrugged.
“Oh, you!”
Suddenly Nagase jumped at Koichi, trying to bring him to the floor completely.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Koichi complained, but laughed merrily as he wrestled back. “Now who’s being unfair? You know you’re stronger than me.”

“Surrender, then,” Nagase suggested, tackling his friend.
“In your dreams,” Koichi retorted with a grin, pushing up hard and actually managing to knock Nagase back onto the ground with the force.
He moved quickly to sit on top of the other, straddling and pinning him effectively.
“I won, after all,” Koichi informed his friend.
“So?” Nagase chuckled lightly, finally letting Koichi enjoy his moment of triumph.
“Don’t I get a prize?” the smaller man suggested playfully, brushing his thumb over the other’s lips suggestively.

Nagase laughed at that. “I won’t submit, but as you have won, you can try and claim,” he offered.
Koichi’s grin grew impish as he bent forward, bringing his face close to his friend’s.
“You’re such an idiot,” Nagase grinned back at him.
“You think I won’t pull through?” Koichi asked teasingly.
“Care for a round of `chicken´?” the taller man suggested.
“You should not dare me on stuff like that,” Koichi warned him. “I have learned from vicious people.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to live up to your words,” Nagase told him simply.
Deciding that keeping this discussion going wouldn’t get them anywhere, Koichi simply refrained from answering yet again and kept moving closer to the other, until their lips were only a breath apart. Then he tentatively dipped them onto Nagase’s, quickly, just a peck.
“Oh my god, you really did it,” Nagase chuckled out. “Weirdo.”

Then his lips were covered again and he blinked in surprise. A set of more nips followed and he thought Koichi was actually trying to invite him to join in the game. A delicate game that might become, though, Nagase thought. Yet he was in no hurry to push his friend away. They played this game a lot and it seemed that Koichi was playing with big money here. Well, two could play that game. Nagase let the other linger, accepted everything he received and when he found a good opportunity, he let his tongue sweep over Koichi’s lips. He could hear his friend gasp in surprise and grinned.

“Didn’t expect that, huh?” Nagase whispered.
“Not really,” Koichi admitted and with that he dove in, deepening the kiss.
It was Nagase’s turn to be surprised as he felt an answering tongue playing with his lips and a hand slowly starting to thread into his hair. How on earth he ended up answering the kiss he didn’t recall later. But at a certain point he found himself in a heated lip-lock, Koichi pressed tightly against him and the thing that had finally caught his attention was Koichi’s thing pressing against his body slightly. That was when he started to feel it was too weird and finally drew back.
“Okay, you win,” he decided.

“I’m not done claiming,” Koichi told him, pulling him back into position and now attacking his neck with lips and tongue.
Nagase’s eyes grew wide. “Wha-what are you doing there?” he asked.
“Ssssshhhhhh,” Koichi shushed him softly.
He kept kissing his friend’s neck up and down, one of his hands starting to roam over a broad chest.
“It’s okay,” he assured the other. “It’s fine. Just… let it happen.”
“What?!” Nagase demanded, not even finding the composure to fight the other off appropriately.
“Just enjoy it,” Koichi kept crooning to him. “I’ll make you feel good.”

“Okay,” Nagase said hastily, finally pushing the other away strongly, “this is getting too weird. What are you trying to do here?”
“I just…” Koichi looked helplessly at him. “I want some love,” he tried.
“I love you, Koichi,” Nagase told him. “But… if you’re on about that, I suggest you find yourself another victim. People you seduce never get to be happy. You never care about them either.”
“I care about you,” Koichi said defensively.
“Then you shouldn’t have done that,” the other told him plainly.
Koichi sighed sadly. “You’re right,” he agreed. “I… I’m sorry, okay? I’m not feeling well and… I’m sorry.”

Nagase looked at him for a moment. “It’s okay,” he decided. “Don’t worry about it. Hey, if you want to talk about anything…”
“Thanks,” Koichi smiled at him. “You’re really a good friend. I’m sorry I pulled that on you. That was actually pretty low.”
“Now don’t make it a big drama,” Nagase waved him off. “Many have tried. Nobody has ever gotten that far, though,” he winked.
Koichi smiled thankfully at his friend’s attempt to loosen the mood. Then his face grew stern again, though.
“Listen, I think I should go,” he decided.

“Really? You don’t have to,” Nagase offered.
“It’s too weird right now,” Koichi stated. Then he grinned helplessly. “Which is really my fault. I’ll go and drink enough to forget about this incident.” He laughed lightly at the look on Nagase’s face. “Relax, it was a joke. I’ll go home now, cry my eyes out until I fall asleep from exhaustion and then tomorrow morning I’ll clean myself up and bring you breakfast, how about that?”
“Are you gonna be okay?” Nagase asked once more.
“It’s fine,” Koichi assured him. “So, 10 am tomorrow?”
“Alright,” Nagase agreed. “But bring me some bakery.”

“My,” Koichi grinned playfully. “I just stole a kiss, not your virginity.”
“My virginity is unaffordable,” Nagase told him.
“Would you ever offer it to someone?” Koichi asked.
“If ever, only to the mother of my children,” Nagase informed him.
Koichi thought on that for a moment.
“Kinky,” he finally analysed. “Didn’t know you had that in you.”
“Idiot,” Nagase laughed.
“Tomorrow, then,” Koichi confirmed.
“Tomorrow,” Nagase agreed with a happy nod.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Tsuyoshi frowned when he heard the knock on the door. There was merely a handful of people, who knew where his private studio was. As he opened the door, he got a good shock. Koichi was standing outside, face white and eyes teary. Before he could even say anything, Koichi spoke up.
“Can I come in?” the older man asked timidly.
Tsuyoshi bit his lip, but then stepped to the side and let the other come in.
“What happened?” he asked, sounding concerned. “Do you want something to drink?”
Koichi, who had lead the way into the creative room, turned around and merely looked at his partner.

Tsuyoshi sighed. “Koichi,” he said sympathetically. “What is it? Why are you crying?”
Instead of an answer, though, Tsuyoshi got the second shock within one minute. Suddenly Koichi was clinging to him, his lips pressed against his own. He gasped, surprised, but Koichi had clawed his hands into Tsuyoshi’s shirt, so it was difficult to put distance between them.
“Koichi,” the younger man mumbled, the sound muffled by the other’s mouth on his.
However, Koichi did now answer him. He just kept giving him soft nips and kisses, clinging to his form as though he was holding on for dear life.
Finally a whisper against his lips.
“Tsuyoshi…”

When the younger man noticed that Koichi’s grip was loosening he took the opportunity to draw back enough to look at his partner.
“Koichi, what’s wrong with you?” he asked, trying to stop his head from spinning.
“Say it,” Koichi merely requested.
The other simply blinked at him. As their gazes lingered, Tsuyoshi suddenly thought he could see right into Koichi and what he saw there scared him so much he wanted to run. He understood what was asked of him.
“Please, Tsuyoshi,” Koichi rasped out desperately.

Hearing that and watching his beloved partner, he could almost physically feel the other’s pain inside him. It was more than he could bear.
“I love you,” Tsuyoshi breathed out.
“Tsuyoshi,” Koichi sobbed, already clinging to the other again. “I… I know I’m not in the position…” A soft kiss. “It’s totally not fair…”
Tsuyoshi could feel his partner’s tears on his own face and that was it – he broke. It hadn’t even needed Koichi’s last words.
“I need you…”

He was already leaning in and kissing his partner back. Koichi sighed in relief, grabbing Tsuyoshi’s shirt again, pressing against him, deepening their kiss. It totally didn’t matter what had happened, why Koichi was seeking him out like this, how they would deal with it once this was over. All of Tsuyoshi’s mind was filled with Koichi, his need, his desperation and the feeling of pride, because Koichi had come to him for aid. He had never been able to really do something for the other, but standing by his side and now Koichi was there and asking him for… whatever it was, he would give it to him.

When he felt deft fingers tugging at his shirt, he did not resist and let the item be pulled off. He even moved to return the favour, removing Koichi’s shirt with ease. As their bodies connected again, Tsuyoshi gasped. For a moment he cursed himself, he knew that what he was doing there was bad for him, for his own state of mind – not to mention his relationship. And yet all the fantasies he’d had, all the dreams, all the wishes, everything suddenly came back to him and he finally admitted to himself that it had been painful to watch Koichi always only from a distance, that he had really always wanted to do this.

And so he let himself revel in this impossible situation, grabbing at Koichi, smoothing his hands over whatever skin he could reach. He could hear Koichi sighing in pleasure and it urged him on to please the other even more. Next he felt Koichi’s hands on his zipper and he grinned, returning the favour. He would have loved to take his time and enjoy this situation as much as he possibly could, but this was about Koichi’s needs and Koichi was apparently in desperate need. They both moaned when Tsuyoshi grabbed his lover’s cock and started to stroke it firmly.

Koichi was already hard and it made Tsuyoshi even more excited. He let go of the other again to discard the rest of their clothing properly. As they both stood there naked, Koichi suddenly bit his lip nervously, as though he was realising what he was actually doing there. Tsuyoshi merely grabbed him and pulled him onto the big couch he usually used to lie on for text inspiration. Next he fumbled around in his desk drawer and pulled out a condom. Koichi eyed him with slight amusement.

“Creative work,” Tsuyoshi shrugged. “Has a lot of room for interpretation.”
“I like your interpretation,” Koichi told him.
As Tsuyoshi walked over to the couch again, Koichi robbed back a bit to give him some space, spreading his legs to allow Tsuyoshi right in between. The younger man sighed at the picture and moved forward to lie on top of the other.
“Oh god, Koichi,” he moaned, “you feel so good.”
“Mh,” his partner hummed, rubbing their bodies together. “Tsuyoshi… I need you.”

Again Tsuyoshi felt slightly reluctant. He would have loved to explore this wonderful body with his hands and lips until Koichi shook with need and begged for release. He knew that something else was requested of him, though. So he wet his fingers as best he could with saliva and quickly moved them into position to prepare the other. While he was teasing and probing the hole, he found some time to worship Koichi’s body at least a bit. Soft kisses and caresses made Koichi sigh and mewl. It didn’t take much to make his loose either. Every now and then Tsuyoshi added more saliva to get things as slick as he could and soon three of his fingers were pushing into Koichi’s body with ease.

“Tsu,” Koichi sighed needily. “Do it now, please.”
The younger man merely nodded and moved to quickly put the condom on. Luckily it was slick, so it should work alright. He pushed in carefully, trying to keep from making too much noise as he loved watching and listening to Koichi. The latter bit his lip very lightly and sighed as he felt the other pushing in.
“Oh yeah,” he groaned.
“Koichi,” Tsuyoshi whispered.
That got him his partner’s attention and they looked at each other, smiling softly.

“I love you,” Tsuyoshi said softly.
Shaking arms wrapped around his neck and a soft kiss was planted on his lips.
“Tsuyoshi…”
Their kiss grew more ardent quickly and soon Tsuyoshi was moving inside of Koichi, making him moan and shift involuntarily.
“Ah.”

Their kiss was broken when Koichi gasped as he felt his prostate being stimulated. He wondered for a second how Tsuyoshi could make him feel like this so easily. Then he concentrated on the sensations again. Tsuyoshi was pushing into him in strong movements, his arms around him were soft and soothing, his voice in his ear warm and pleasant, whispering sweet nothings to him. He totally lost himself in the feelings washing over him. Of course, only Tsuyoshi could evoke such feelings in him, nobody else understood him like that.
“Oh god, Koichi,” the younger man moaned, moving more demandingly.
“Ungh...”

Koichi licked his lips at the sensations. He was completely lost in this daze of lust, enjoying every second of it. Unconsciously his hand moved down to stroke his dick and he groaned as he felt the double stimulation.
“Oh god,” he gasped, “so good.” He bit his lip. “Tsuyoshi, more!”
“Mh,” the other grunted and moved to meet the other’s request.
His movements became sharper and faster and Koichi moaned his approval.
“Fuck yeah, that’s it. Yeah. More…”
“Brat,” Tsuyoshi teased, but it sounded a bit helpless as he too was panting hard.

To give him just that little push, Tsuyoshi drove in sharply and then rubbed the other’s sweet spot almost forcefully. And that did it. Eyes flying open wildly, Koichi yelled out in surprise as a forceful orgasm hit him without warning, his seed covering his hand and body. His entire body shook with his release, twitching and spasming almost as long as it took for Tsuyoshi to find his own release. The younger man started to move frantically again, shoving in deeply now, his thrusts quick and intense.
“Fuck,” he cursed silently as he felt it coming. “Yeah, almost… almost… oh god, oh…”
With a groan he finally came, hips jerking almost helplessly, enjoying the feeling of his dick pulsing inside the other, until the twitches stopped and he sighed satedly. They remained like that, both catching their breaths.

Once they had somewhat come down again Tsuyoshi sighed and pulled back, drawing his dick out of the other again. Then they were simply lying there next to each other, staring at the ceiling.
“You could have told me,” Tsuyoshi finally said flatly. “That you have such urges.”
“Speak for yourself,” Koichi retorted. Then he sighed. “What do we do now?”
“Hm… We could elope to Hawaii and get married,” he suggested.
Koichi chuckled merrily. “You don’t really want to do that.”
“Do you?” Tsuyoshi asked, shifting to look at the other.

His heart swelled as he saw Koichi smiling brightly at him, even when he shook his head.
“Not really,” the younger man admitted.
“So, we should opt for alternatives,” Tsuyoshi grinned.
“What the fuck,” Koichi laughed. “Why is it totally not weird? Did we really just have sex?”
“Maybe we should have done this a long time ago,” Tsuyoshi mused. “It’s like a tension between us is gone now.”
Koichi nodded his agreement. “Strange,” he mumbled. “I thought I’d totally have to laugh if we ever tried this. I never would have expected you to be like this.”

“You thought I was a joke in bed?” Tsuyoshi asked, raising a brow.
“No,” Koichi laughed, slapping him playfully. “I thought you’d be… I don’t know… too concentrated, or something like that. You know, so that I’d think it’s weird.”
“Ah,” Tsuyoshi nodded. “But it wasn’t.”
“Definitely not,” Koichi grinned.
“We could still hit it off,” the younger man suggested.
“You would forget about Shinji-kun so easily?” Koichi asked.

That caused a sting in Tsuyoshi’s heart. “Of course not,” he sighed. “But… you don’t want it like that anyway, do you?”
Koichi just shook his head. “We’d be a horrible couple too.”
“Agreed,” Tsuyoshi sighed. “Plus, we’d never last. We knew that from the very beginning. Maybe that’s why we never properly looked at our feelings and… shoved them away. Now look at us.”
Koichi snickered. “It’s almost bizarre.”
“Almost?” The other asked playfully. “It’s absolutely positively bizarre.”
“Right,” Koichi grinned.

A longer silence followed. Then Tsuyoshi couldn’t keep it in any longer.
“What was so different tonight?”
Koichi blinked at him.
“I mean,” Tsuyoshi said, licking his lips, “the way you looked when you came here…”
Koichi sighed, his eyes turning sad. “Tackey sent me away. And then somehow I ended up sexing up Tomo and… it was stupid and I was frustrated and…”
Tsuyoshi made a sound between a sigh and a chuckle.

“What?!” Koichi asked, pouting.
“You are too impatient,” Tsuyoshi told the other.
“Huh?”
Tsuyoshi battled with himself for a second, but then he thought it would be best to lie everything out in front of Koichi.
“Kou,” he said in a sympathetic voice, “the reason why he so suddenly retreated was that he realised that he’s seriously falling for you. He didn’t know how to handle that and your… well, life-style and everything, so he wanted some time to think about everything.”
“He… he said he’s in love with me?” Koichi gasped, eyes wide.

The younger man merely nodded. “And judging by the way you reacted to his rejection… I believe you’re not entirely indifferent to him?”
“I… never thought about that,” Koichi admitted, but started to think hard. “He loves me?” he asked, sounding almost shocked. “But… why? I mean, what have I done for him? As a person, I mean. What would he love about me?”
Tsuyoshi merely shrugged. “Who knows?” Then he smiled. “Koichi, there are two things you yet have to understand. First, love doesn’t know reason. He just loves you… for being you. Same as me. And second, there are a lot of things about you to love and you are loved by a lot of people too. Me, for one. You just fail to see it.”

Koichi looked at him sceptically. “But… people always hated me.”
“Some of them hated you,” Tsuyoshi corrected him. “And they didn’t really hate you as a person. It was… well, I guess it was difficult. Oh, Koichi. Please, try to forget about all those things. Think of all the things that you have. Things that a lot of people are craving for.”
“Fantastic,” Koichi said, rolling his eyes, “then they’re gonna hate me again.”
“Who cares?” Tsuyoshi shrugged. “We don’t need such people. We’ve got each other.”
“Tsuyoshi,” Koichi said with a smile, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” the other answered readily.

“What about Shinji-kun now?” Koichi asked carefully.
Tsuyoshi thought on that for a moment. “Do you think it’s drastically unfair if we keep this to ourselves? I… I just don’t want to hurt him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly proud of how we did this, but… I’m glad we did it. I feel… free now. You were always in the back of my head and now I feel like I can let go.”
“Sounds nice,” Koichi smiled. “I won’t tell him.”
“Thank you.”

Koichi still smiled at him, but then his eyes wavered.
“Ungh…”
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tsuyoshi asked, concerned.
“I… feel a bit light-headed,” Koichi panted out. “Vision’s blurry,” he mumbled and the next moment he already slumped down onto the couch.
“Koichi!”

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Oh, evil cliff-hanger. ^^" What's gonna happen now? I'm really glad that this is done. I felt sorry for Koichi and the KoTsu scene was somethign I really dreaded. I didn't want to write it like that, but somehow the tension I created between them was bad and so I had to take that away. In the end it turned out much lighter than I had expected. A small LOL at Tackey. He's falling for Koichi. I NEVER saw that coming. But then, suddenly it was right there. ^^ Hope you liked it. I'll be looking forward to writing the close up now soon. This series will be finished soon. Maybe even with the next chapter, but I'm not sure yet. As long as it'll take me to find a good way for all of them. Please stay tuned.

Chapter 5

Chapter 7