Kimi ga iru yo (Need you now)

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Prairing: RyoJin
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own them, just love them ^^
Warnings: Swearing, drunk Johnny, explicit sexual content (to put it nicely ;D )
Setting: Song-fiction, based on "Need you now" by Lady Antebellum
One-Shot


Notes: I know, I'm REEEEAAAAAAALLY late and I am very sorry about this, but today was a rather shitty day, and - checks clock - I still made it. As promised, my first exchange fic for my beloved lilly0. I hope you're feeling better. I'm also posting this in honour of Jin's marriage. Omedetou! \(^o^)/ Jin, I'm really happy for you, but never worry, no matter what happens, you will always be here in the fiction fandom, you will always be... top. XDDDD Okay, I'll stop it with the babbling. Here goes, have fun.


Intro: Jin and Ryo just broke up. They're both trying to deal - but Ryo just can't...

It’s no good. It’s no good. It’s no good…

“It’s no good. It’s no good. It’s no good. It’s no good. It’s no good. It’s no… Fuck! Dammit, Pi, it’s no good! It’s no good, what you told me. I can repeat it all I want. You’re no good! I’m no good! Shit.”

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

Ryo bit his lip. He sunk his head, seeing that he was half-standing on one of the pictures that currently decorated his living room floor. He’d been circling his living room for more than an hour, first clock wise, then counter clockwise, because he’d gotten dizzy. Or maybe that was from the… he stopped and took a look at the bottle in his hand – the Whiskey he’d been drinking. His friend had kept him company for quite a while, keeping him entertained, giving him advice, badmouthing his… ex – what friends did when their friends broke up. The usual.

He totally didn’t deserve you.

You’re better off without him.

He’s not worth crying over.

You totally don’t need him.

Blah blah blah…

“But I do…”

Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore

Never call him when you feel down. Call me instead. It’s not a problem. Even in the middle of the night. I’ll listen.

Ryo grabbed his mobile from the table and scanned through his contacts.

Yamashita Tomohisa

He bit his lip again. Then he frowned.

“Fuck you,” he said to the screen. “Fuck him. And fuck me.”

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

His fingers fidgeted with the phone a bit more, until a new name was on the screen. After a second’s more hesitation Ryo pressed the call button. It rang.

Once.

Twice.

“Hello?”

Ryo stopped short. It was his voice. That was not what was really shocking, though. In the background, the noise was incredible.

Club?

Ryo’s eyes grew wide and he immediately hung up. Then he sighed desperately, placed the bottle on the table, flopped down onto his sofa and gripped his hair in frustration. He jumped in shock when his mobile rang suddenly. He looked at the display.

Akanishi Jin

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

His lip was already swollen from his gnawing teeth, but he ignored the stinging feeling. Finally, he picked up.

“Yes?”

“Hey,” the voice on the other end said warily.

The noise is gone.

“Hey.”

“Er… so what did you want?” Jin asked.

“Huh?” Ryo made. “Oh, that, I… I pressed the wrong button. Sorry about that.”

The moment he finished that sentence he wanted to slap himself.

That was about the lamest excuse ever…

“Oh,” Jin simply replied. “Okay, then…” There was a short pause. “Yeah, okay. Well, see you, I guess…”

“Are you at a club?” Ryo asked all of a sudden.

And yet again he cursed himself.

“Oh, er… yeah. Somehow Matsumoto made me come along. Thought it would be good to… you know, get out of the house.”

“Or into someone’s pants,” Ryo commented.

Another pause.

“Well, that’s not exactly your business. We’re not together anymore.”

Ryo thought he should simply hang up. Obviously they both only said the stupidest things at the moment.

“That,” Jin added awkwardly, “came out wrong. I mean…”

“It’s okay,” Ryo sighed. “It’s true. We’re not… together anymore.” He laughed slightly to himself. “I don’t even know why I called you. I mean, I… it’s not like you’ll just come running – obviously…” He sighed. “Look, I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“I never would have thought you’d want me to come running,” Jin cut in. There was a sigh. “And I wouldn’t know what to do. Or what to say. I've said everything that I could.”

“Yes, you did,” Ryo confirmed. “And… you don’t need to say anything else. Sorry about this. Good night.”

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

With that Ryo hung up. His lips pressed together into a thin line. He waited for a whole five minutes if Jin wouldn’t maybe call back again, but he didn’t. After his arm had already gone numb with clenching the phone Ryo finally sighed and got up to pour himself another glass. He didn’t remember later how he had ended up on the living room floor, covered in pictures, eyes red and swollen and his latest glass of whiskey spilt over his carpet. However, he would always remember how the doorbell rang suddenly. He blinked. First he wanted to simply ignore it. But at the second ring he got up shakily and went to the door. He picked up the house phone to check who was there.

“Yes?”

No answer.

“Hello?”

No answer.

“Hey.”

No answer.

“Helloo~!”

He pushed the door button several times, to see if the thing was working and obviously, the button was okay, just the speaker seemed to be broken, or something. He sighed. Something else to take care of. About two minutes later the bell to his apartment rang. Leaning against the wall for balance he opened the door…

…and froze.

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

“Jin,” he breathed out.

The latter didn’t even wait for the other to allow him in, but simply pushed Ryo back into his apartment.

“What on earth have you been doing?” he asked, sounding alarmed, especially as he took a look around the apartment.

Ryo frowned and shook his head.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, sounding disturbed.

“I… totally don’t know,” Jin admitted. “I mean, I know what you said. And I know what you told me… that day, but… you called…” He bit his lip.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

Ryo cursed inwardly. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t ready for this. Confrontation. He hadn’t seen Jin since the day he’d dumped him. There were so many emotions. So many questions. And he was weak. He was drunk. Why did he have to come? Why…?

Ryo shook his head with a sigh. He’d asked himself a million questions ever since that day. There wasn’t an answer to one of them and even if he could find answers, they wouldn’t help him where he was. He merely went back into his living room.

“You really don’t want to talk?” Jin asked, following him.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

Ryo turned around to face him.

“No,” he stated firmly. “There is nothing more to be said,” he shrugged. “You’ve said it yourself. It’s all out. I’ve asked all the questions and heard all the explanations. There’s nothing more we can discuss.”

Jin gulped, but nodded. “I understand. Sorry, I…”

“It’s okay,” Ryo said flatly. “We both did something stupid tonight. Let’s just…”

He broke off. Or rather, he was cut off.

There were lips on his.

He panicked, heart racing in his chest.

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

“I understand you don’t want me to say anything,” Jin said as he pulled back slightly. “I just wanted you to know… I never want to kiss anyone but you… again…”

Ryo started to tremble. His eyes filled with tears. Just as Jin wanted to pull him close he felt rough hands shoving him away.

“Bastard!” Ryo croaked out. “Why? Why are you doing this to me? Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? Huh? First I see you with that… bitch and then…” He was crying for real, but he didn’t care anymore. “Do you know how much you hurt me? How I felt? How I’m still feeling? You can’t even imagine…”

“No, I can’t,” Jin agreed, sounding defeated. Then, however, he raised his voice. “But I’m hurting too. I… Damn, if I could… argh, it’s all just empty phrases, because there’s nothing I can do and I hate that. I’ve been so frustrated, I…”

“You’ve been frustrated?” Ryo asked sarcastically.

“Yes, because believe it or not, it hurt when you broke up with me. I just… I still love you. And I’d do anything, anything, if only you said the word, but you don’t even see that I’m feeling the same way you do. I understand if you don’t want me anymore. I fucked up big time. But please, at least acknowledge that I didn’t just use you as a kind of boy toy, that this is hard on me, just as it is on you.”

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

Ryo thought he saw a light shimmering in Jin’s eyes. He blinked, and the sensation was gone.

“I hate myself because I did that to you and I did it to myself,” Jin rasped out.

The smaller man just stood there taking in the picture of his ex-lover, standing on pictures that showed the two of them in many places and situations they had enjoyed together. He didn’t know what to do. Again, he was not ready. His head and heart were telling him two very different things and he didn’t have any support to help him.

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

“I hate myself too,” he finally whispered. He looked at Jin again. “Because even though you did that… I still have feelings for you. And somehow I can’t… make them go away.”

Jin sighed and this time he did pull the other into his arms, holding him tightly. Ryo let him for a while, but then he pushed back, not forcefully, but firmly. He looked right into Jin’s eyes.

“I’m scared,” he choked out. “I’m scared that…” He shook his head. “I can’t trust you. What if you hurt me again?”

“I’d rather jump from Tokyo Tower,” Jin said earnestly. “Ryo, I understand how you don’t trust me. But this one is not just an empty phrase. I have suffered from this, truly, and I have learned. I have faced temptation and failed, but it won’t happen to me again, because now I don’t only know what I’m dealing with, I also know what I’ll be losing. These past two weeks have been hell to me. I’ve wanted to call you a million times. I just didn’t know what to say. Please, if you really still have feelings for me…”

And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

Ryo bit his lip. Then he kissed the other. Very lightly. And then with more drive. He slid his arms around the taller man’s neck and offered the tip of his tongue.

“I should go,” Jin gasped, pulling back. “You’re… well, at least not sober. You might regret this and that’s something I would regret even more, so…”

“No,” Ryo said almost fearfully, pulling him back. “I… might well be drunk… and not in my right mind… but if you go now, I might never let you through that door again. And before that can happen, even if it’s just an illusion, just a dream of tonight… I want it.”

Jin considered him for one more second and then pulled Ryo back into his arms, kissing him passionately.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you so bad,” he sighed between nips against Ryo’s lips.

Ryo smiled. “Me too…”

“And touch you, love you…”

And I don't know how I can do without

He stopped for a second, checking the other’s face. Ryo merely kept smiling and nodded. Jin lifted him up easily and Ryo happily slang his legs around his waist as the taller man carried him into the bedroom. He was placed on the sheets carefully and moved to make space for the other to follow him onto the bed. They were kissing again and Jin’s hands had wandered under his shirt to stroke his skin lightly, but making no move to remove the item. He might still be insecure, Ryo thought, and so he started to unbutton the other’s shirt to put him straight on where he wanted things to go. It felt like Jin had only waited for a sign like this. His hands grew more daring, seeked out more sensitive spots, caressing him rather than teasing and finally he pushed at the shirt for real.

They got rid of the items at the same time and Jin went straight for a nipple, kissing and licking it enthusiastically. Ryo smiled fondly. Jin had never been the kind who did subtle foreplay. And he had never been one to mind. Seriously, what was the point in spending minutes, kissing a neck? What a waste. A little tease of the collar bone could be interesting, as he remembered with a grin, but other than that he wanted to go for the real deal. He sighed as he felt a hint of Jin’s weight on his body, stroking his lover’s wild hair. Jin attended to the nipple until it was hard and sensitive, then switched to the other one, treating it similarly. A few fleeting nips and kisses to Ryo’s stomach, moving down and then fabric was in the way again.

He pulled back and before he could even grab anything Ryo had already pulled off both socks and opened his pants. Jin merely gave them a good tug and Ryo kicked them to the floor. Thinking that it would be easier Jin simply finished undressing himself too. After his boxers had followed everything else onto the floor, he finally went back to his earlier actions, attending to Ryo’s body, going down from his navel to his already half-hard cock. Ryo moaned when Jin grabbed the length and gave it a few good strokes, before he put it skilfully into his mouth to start sucking.

“Oh my god,” Ryo sighed, his hand in Jin’s hair fisting.

I just need you now

There was a hand playing with his balls and he just gave himself to his lover, letting Jin do as ever he pleased. The blowjob was thorough, stimulating, but did nothing to tease. Jin knew his every reaction and answered to it perfectly. The moment Ryo thought he’d start to feel worked up Jin slowly let the dick slip from his mouth, giving it a few more soothing licks, before he moved up to Ryo’s face to see whether he had done a proper job. Ryo’s hand went from Jin’s hair to stroke his face.

“Thank you,” he said, “that was wonderful.”

Jin smiled at him, giving him a small kiss.

“Your turn,” Ryo decided.

He laughed when the other immediately placed himself neatly on his back on the bed, waiting for Ryo to return the favour. And of course the smaller man moved over him. He took in the view of Jin’s naked form. It was such a beautiful sight. He gave a fleeting kiss to his lover’s collar bone, who shuddered at the contact. Ryo grinned.

Still so sensitive.

But he wasn’t out for teasing. One of his hands roamed the bigger part of Jin’s chest while he kissed and nipped one of the nipples, fingers finally closing down and pinching the other one. He felt Jin’s chest heaving, his heart beating fast and that made him feel even more excited. Once he was done with the nipples, he kissed his way down Jin’s chest, to his stomach and then, from the navel, followed that very slight trail of hair until he bumped into the nest at Jin’s groin. Just as Jin had done for him, he stroked the length, making Jin moan. Instead of sucking, though, he first licked the man’s balls. First licked them, then sucked them into his mouth carefully, one at a time.

“Fuck, Ryo,” Jin sighed, moving into his lover’s hand that was still fisting him.

Ryo hummed slightly, the vibration making the other go weak. He moved just a bit further, licking that spot, just behind the balls.

“Oh yeah, so good…”

Ryo made sure to give a good amount of stimulation before he finally pulled back. He moved up to face Jin.

“Want me to suck?” he asked simply.

“I want you,” Jin merely stated. “If… that’s okay,” he added.

Ryo laughed at that. “Right, I could still through you out. Just what would I do with this, then?” he asked, pointing at his hard length.

“I meant that you could fuck me with this,” Jin stated bluntly.

“I know,” Ryo grinned. “But I want to feel you.”

I just need you now

He quickly moved to his night stand and pulled a bottle of lube and a condom from the drawer, handing both items to his lover for emphasis. Jin smiled at him and nodded. He applied the condom immediately, then opened the bottle with the lube. He poured just a bit, covering his fingers. Ryo moved to face the mattress, pushing his butt up. He didn’t really like that position, but it was easier like that and they could still change positions later. He hissed slightly when he felt a finger with cool liquid on his hole.

“Cold?” Jin asked.

“It’s okay,” Ryo told him. “Just a bit.”

“Okay.”

The finger smeared the substance on and around the opening, retreated shortly, only to return with a new amount and in company. Three fingers were working on and in him. One finger pushed in very carefully, while the others worked to loosen his muscle. Ryo sighed. It always felt good when Jin did that. The first time someone had told him they didn’t like the “receiving end” because it hurt he had totally not understood. It was later that he learned that not everybody was as… determined as his own lover. Jin really made it feel good. He gasped as a second finger slipped in. He hadn’t felt it in a while and found the sensation very intense. He sighed slightly when he felt Jin stretching him. Again he did a thorough job of it, not adding another finger before it would slip in easily. And again Jin was out for stimulation, not teasing. He gave a few good pushes with his fingers, seeing how Ryo reacted and as soon as he felt Ryo was ready for him, he withdrew.

For a moment he was gone, probably wiping his slippery fingers on the sheets, but then he pulled on Ryo’s shoulder, urging him to turn back around. The moment they looked at each other, they smiled. Ryo’s body filled with joy. He had wished for this to happen. So much. He was still a bit scared, but he really did want it and he felt so good. Lying down onto his back he opened his legs as Jin moved to hover over him. They shared a long, passionate kiss, rubbing their bodies together, hands caressing, stroking dicks, or tickling soft skin. Finally, Jin pulled back slightly to look at Ryo. His hand stroked the smaller man’s hair as his lips kept kissing his face.

“It’s wet,” he whispered. “Is it okay like that?”

Ryo merely nodded, opening his legs wide. Jin felt like crying with happiness. He never would have dreamed to see this again. Feel it again. And here he was and he wanted it so bad. He placed his dick at the other’s entrance and slowly, carefully pushed in. Ryo was loose and ready and only sighed when he felt his lover intruding him. Even so Jin waited a small while before he started to move against the other.

Ryo couldn’t stop from voicing his pleasure. He kept sighing and moaning silently as he hugged Jin close to his body.

“Jin,” he whispered into his lover’s ear, “it feels so good.”

“Oh god, Ryo,” Jin sighed back, moving more intensely.

I just need you now

They kissed again, swallowing sounds of desperation as they built up their pace. Their bodies moved together, sliding easily against each other, being slick with sweat. There was the sound of bodies shifting on bed sheets and every now and then the sharp slapping of flesh hitting flesh. They drove each other higher and higher, holding on, enjoying the feeling. The smell of sex was around them and finally they both felt it, but it was Jin who said it. He took Ryo’s hand, twining their fingers together.

“I want to come,” he sighed.

Ryo smiled and nodded. He quickly gave a small peck to his lover’s lips before he relaxed against the bed. Jin, in the meantime lifted his upper body to gain momentum. He thrust more urgently, faster. Ryo gasped and moaned with every change of angle. He started to stroke himself as he felt his orgasm building. Muscles starting to tight in his body, heat spreading suddenly. He bit his lip and pulled himself harder.

“Oh god, Jin,” he sighed. “I’m close…”

“Good,” Jin grit out, still thrusting hard. “Come.”

And Ryo could feel it. He was almost there. Almost… His entire body went rigid for a second, eyes wide and mouth open in a gasp and then it let loose, making his body shudder as he came, jolts of pleasure shooting through is body like lightning, while his come shot out onto his hand and stomach. It felt so good, he moaned and kept stroking his length just a bit even when the waves ebbed down again. He could feel Jin still moving in him, trying to find his own release. It didn’t take much longer. With a last shift of the angle Jin found the right friction.

“Oh, that’s good,” he groaned out.

His hips bucked desperately taking what they needed and then finally Jin came with a longing sigh, his head falling back onto his shoulders as he rode out the feeling, still thrusting forward sharply, but slowly until the twitching of his dick finally stopped. One last moan escaped his throat as he pulled back out of Ryo just to flop down right next to him. They quickly arranged on the bed, lying side by side, facing each other and wrapped up in each other’s arms. Ryo sighed happily. He had missed it so much. Missed Jin’s body next to his. Missed the smell of his lover after sex. Missed the soft hands that caressed him so lovingly.

“I’ll never lose you again,” Jin promised, a whisper into Ryo’s ear.

“Good,” Ryo answered, smiling contently. “It’s not easy to find me, you know.”

Jin chuckled lightly as he kissed his lover’s temple. “How very true. I’ll consider myself very lucky, then, finding you… twice.”

Ryo smiled and nodded. They settled against each other and for the first time in two weeks they both found a full night’s sleep.

Ooo, baby, I need you now

________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, I don't very often say that about my work, but I truly like this one. I just hope lilly wasn't hoping for dirty smut? XD Well, there's still the other one. ;D  I hope you you enjoyed this. All of you, of course. Thank you, everybody, for reading! <3