East to West, Shadow to Light, 先 to 後, Me to You - Chapter 5: A kiss for a kiss?

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Pairing: TakkiRyo
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. Well, the idea is, but the characters are not.
Warnings: swearing, kissing, suggestive talk
Multi-chapter


Intro: Takki has created quite a mess and Ryo feels miserable and has no idea what to do. Or, at least he feels like he can't do anything himself. Fortunately, he has some helpful friends - evne if they can be difficult at times.


Note: The development here somehow just happened. Honestly, it was not my intension. Vivi-chan, please don't hate me for writing Ryo like this! ^^" He just ran off and did things I never meant to happen. I hope you still like it. And: The big crises is solved. ^_^





Takki blinked helplessly at the sight in front of him.
“Hi,” Yamapi said bitingly. “Can I come in?”
The other was still too shaken to do or say anything, so Yamapi decided to just let himself in, discarding his shoes carelessly and moving on into Takki’s apartment. The latter kept standing at the door for a while, before finally getting a grip, closing the door and following the other into the living room.
“So,” Yamapi started in a fake-casual tone, “where did you fuck him?”
Takki stared at him in horror. “What… do you want?” he asked helplessly.




“How can you even ask that?!” Yamapi demanded. “What do you think?! Ryo called me and told me what happened and… How dare you?!?!?!?!?!”
Takki winced slightly. “Look, I know… I’m sorry. I was…”
“No, you listen to me,” Yamapi shot at him and indeed effectively shut Takki up. “Ryo sent me, because he knew you would just throw the door into everybody else’s face right away, including his person. And he doesn’t have to take shit like that. What on earth were you thinking anyway? What kind of guy are you?”




“I’m sorry,” Takki tried again helplessly. “I… he kissed me and… he touched me… it was… I know it was wrong. He just felt so good and… I haven’t for so long. Fuck, I know I shouldn’t have!”
Yamapi just stared at him in disbelief. “What kind of bullshit is that?” he as ked, shaking his head. “I’m not talking about the sex. He wanted that. He enjoyed it. That’s what he told me. That you were loving and attentive and you stirred something in him.”
Takki blinked for a second, then sighed in frustration.




“But how could you leave him after what you did together?!” Yamapi asked harshly. “You left, you simply sneaked out and wanted to make it like it never happened – why?!” he wanted to know.
“Because it shouldn’t have happened,” Takki burst out. “It was a huge mistake, okay?”
“What on earth is your problem?” Yamapi asked, frowning. “He’s in love with you. And you treat him like a fucking trick!”




“That’s not…” Takki sighed. “Look, I know I should not have given into him. I’m sorry.”
“But he wanted it,” Yamapi stressed. “He still wants it – god knows why, I’d kill you if you did something like that to me.”
“Whatever he might want,” Takki said dismissively, “it’s just a temporal thing.”
“Eh?” Yamapi knit his brows, confused.
“He’s straight,” Takki shrugged helplessly. “He might have grown close to me and maybe the touching stimulated him. But there’s no way he’d really go for me. He’s so into girls, he even touched me like one.”




“A man can learn,” Yamapi told him coldly. “And if that is really what you think, you should indeed have kept your hands off him. He really likes you,” he informed the older man.
Takki chuckled weakly at that. “A mere infatuation. Once the thrill has worn off, he’ll leave and go back to what he’s used to.”
“So, to make sure he can’t leave you, you’re leaving him first?” Yamapi asked pointedly.
“That’s not what this is,” Takki opposed.
“Oh no?” Yamapi asked sarcastically.




“I’m just sparing both of us the disappointment of trying to take this any further, when we’re going nowhere,” Takki sighed sadly. “Don’t think it was easy for me. I really like him a lot. That’s why I lost my grip in the first place. But I can’t let myself fall for a straight guy again,” he stated. “It’ll only end in pain and misery.”
Yamapi looked at him for a while, then his face grew even angrier.
“So, now it’s because of me?” he asked, vibrating with anger. “Because I rejected you?”
“I was so in love with you,” Takki sighed sadly. “I felt so miserable…”




The hurt tone in Takki’s voice had Yamapi calm down a bit. “Well, we can’t be loved back by everyone we like,” he shrugged helplessly. “And, of course, there’s a chance that you guys might not work out. But why eliminate the chance right from the beginning? I mean, it’s the same for everyone. With everyone. You can never foresee how a relationship is going to turn out. Think about it. Certainly, the odds are high against happily ever after. But do you simply want to squash every chance of a relationship you might get, because you’re afraid that it might not work out? Even if it doesn’t in the end, shouldn’t you make the best of it, while you can? Enjoy what is given to you and what you can share with someone you love?”




Takki looked at Yamapi helplessly, biting his lip and trying to hold back tears.
“I… I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “I don’t know what to do with this, I… He’s my junior too… I mean, how can I?”
Yamapi blinked. “But Ryo really wants you,” he told the other. “He loves you. And you guys are what – 2 years apart? It’s not like you’re into kids, or something.”
Takki sighed, looking torn. “It’s still… not right. I mean, I was in charge of everything you guys did. I even brought you to bed.”




“Look, you’re not taking advantage of him,” Yamapi tried again. “What you’re doing to him now is what’s really cruel. First taking him in and then throwing him back out. If he wants it and you want it too, can’t you try to allow yourself to be happy? Just like that?”
“I don’t trust being happy,” Takki told him.
“That… is just stupid,” Yamapi stated simply.
Takki blinked at him for a moment, then smiled. Then he started to laugh heartily and Yamapi just stared at him, thinking Takki had really lost it.




“Sorry,” Takki giggled out, “I just…” he laughed some more. “That was just… brilliant. Down to the point and simply brilliant.” He tried to calm down a bit. “Ah, Pi, I never would have thought that you’d be the one to wash my head and make me face reality. But then, why am I surprised, you already have experience with that.”
“Just don’t expect an apology this time,” Yamapi said with a pout. “You really hurt Ryo, so I was right shouting at you.”
Takki turned more serious again. “Indeed,” he nodded. “Pi, thank you for coming here and… doing this. You’re really a good friend. To Ryo and to me.”




“Just go and talk to him soon,” Yamapi demanded of him. “He’s totally edgy.”
“I will,” Takki promised. “And I’ll talk with him about everything and we’ll find a way to make it work.”
“Fine, then,” Yamapi said, smiling. “At least my mission is completed here.”
“Just… how did Ryo figure I wouldn’t slam the door in your face?” Takki asked.
Yamapi grinned. “Because I never visit you at home. For well-known reasons. He figured you’d be so out, I could definitely slip in. And I was pretty sure it would work.”




“You guys are really something else,” Takki chuckled.
“Well, whatever. Go, write a little speech now, or something.”
“Yes, yes. Ano… Tea?”
“No,” Yamapi sighed. “I’m off. And you get to it.”
“Right away.”
“Right then, I’ll show myself out,” Yamapi said with a short wave of his hand, leaving.




Once he was outside the apartment, he sighed in relief. He ripped out his cell-phone, pressing a few buttons and holding it to his ear.
“Hey. Mission accomplished. … Yeah, it went better than expected. … Don’t know, but I guess today. … Just don’t make it too hard on him. He really is miserable. … As if. … Okay, see you tomorrow, then. … Of course, any time.”
With that he hung up. Smiling slightly he set off to make his way home.




_______________________________________________________________________________________




“So he still didn’t come by,” Yamapi analysed.
“I told you,” Ryo sighed, “he called in and said he’d be busy until late tonight and that he’ll let me know when he can come over.”
“At least he seems intent,” Yamapi mumbled.
“Very,” Ryo agreed. “He asked me what my favourite kind of sushi is.”
“Oh my god,” Yamapi gasped out. “You’re slobbering over him!”
“Am not,” Ryo demanded, blushing.




“You should see the glee in your eyes, at the mere prospect of him bringing food,” Yamapi told his friend, pretending to stick his finger in his mouth to make himself puke. “Sickening.”
“Shut it,” Ryo barked out.
“Uh-hu-hu,” Yamapi grinned teasingly, “someone’s being defensive…”
“Someone’s being ridiculous,” Ryo grumbled back.
“Oh, and someone’s in denial,” Yamapi sing-songed.
“And someone’s about to get a good kick out the door,” Ryo warned him with a glare.




Yamapi knew better than to tease further, but the grin stayed on his lips.
“Okay, enlighten me,” the younger boy changed tactics, sitting up more and looking at his friend expectantly.
“What?” Ryo asked, feeling a bit uneasy.
“Oh, come on,” Yamapi sighed, rolling his eyes. “You and Takki – how on earth did that happen?”
Ryo just shrugged helplessly. “Don’t know… just like that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yamapi asked demandingly. “I mean, it’s not like you would expect something like that. First, I thought you were straight.”




A longer silence followed in which Ryo tried to collect his own thoughts on the matter, but then he just sighed.
“I really don’t know Pi,” he finally told the other. “I mean, I too thought I was. I still think I am.”
Yamapi gave him a pointed look and Ryo blushed again.
“Okay, maybe not,” Ryo groaned out in annoyance. “But I don’t think of myself as gay. No way. Girls are hot.”
“But Takki’s hotter?” Yamapi asked, quirking his brows.
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” Ryo muttered with a shrug.




“Well, what are you now?” the younger man wanted to know.
Ryo thought on that for a moment, then looked firmly at the other.
“I’m Nishikido Ryo,” he stated plainly.
“Oh,” Yamapi sighed out, rolling his eyes. “Jin gave you a speech, didn’t he?”
Ryo blinked for a moment, but then shrugged. “So we talked about it.”
“And you believe his ridiculously naïve ideas?” Yamapi asked in disbelief. “Make your own choice? That’s totally ridiculous.”
“It’s not,” Ryo opposed firmly.




“So, you’re telling me that teenage guys, who find themselves gay and don’t know what to do about it, think it’s funny to jump off buildings, or to cut themselves, instead of simply choosing a way that could easily make them happy?”
“I never said…” Ryo gasped at his friend’s suggestion. “You’re interpreting that all wrong.”
“Oh yeah? Then, make a clearer point,” Yamapi demanded.
“Well…” Ryo gulped, thinking about it. Then hi sighed. “Maybe it’s not a choice, after all.”
“Thank you very much,” Yamapi said triumphantly, smacking his hands onto his thighs.
“Maybe you can’t choose who you fall in love with… at all,” Ryo finally stated.




His friend just blinked at him. “Eh?”
“Well, the appeal a person has on you is made by a million things,” Ryo explained. “And if someone appeals to you, for whatever reason, it’s like you just can’t help it. For many people the aspect of gender is strongly directed towards one side, or the other. That’s why it seems they’re only attracted to one. But it’s never a one hundred percent. People simply don’t admit to `slips´ because they’re called abnormal.”
Yamapi looked at him for a long while, then groaned. “Wow, he totally got you.”




“So what’s your thought?” Ryo asked angrily. “That I was a freaky little queer inside from the beginning? That I was simply in denial, or trying to force myself to be straight?”
The younger man merely shrugged at him.
Ryo stared at him in disbelief. “THAT is what you think?!”
“Well, I don’t know,” Yamapi burst out. “All I know is that no normal guy would go and follow another guy into his bed.”
“Straight guy,” Ryo corrected him immediately. “No straight guy would, at least that’s what you think. We’re not talking about normal, or abnormal here.”
“You’re right,” Yamapi gave him. “Sorry – but you know what I meant.”




Ryo nodded curtly, but he still felt angry with his friend. “I am not gay,” he insisted again.
“Now who’s making it sound like something abnormal?” Yamapi asked pointedly.
“That is totally not the point,” Ryo barked back. “But same as you, I don’t want to be labelled something that I am simply not!”
Yamapi blinked at the outburst, then licked his lips nervously.
“Look,” he tried to explain. “I just meant to say that in my world guys don’t kiss, or… I don’t know – touch, or do things you seem to enjoy.”




Ryo laughed sarcastically at that. “That is so ridiculous. What – are you saying that you would per definition dislike it?”
“Of course,” the younger man shot out instantly.
“Lips are lips,” Ryo explained intensely. “Hands are hands. Kissing, touching… everybody does it the same.”
“There are still dicks,” Yamapi told him.
“Let’s leave those for later,” Ryo decided, closing in on the other. “But you admit that being close and maybe touching isn’t necessarily displeasing.”




“Of course, it is,” Yamapi told him, making a face. “Touching a guy like that… I mean, no offence, it’s not like I judge you, or anything. But when it’s about me, I’d be sick.”
“Liar,” Ryo claimed.
“No, really,” Yamapi insisted, shaking his head at the thought.
“You’re just posing,” Ryo told him. “You’re still acting, still keeping up that stupid… appearance, just so you can calm yourself. Even when you’re sitting right in front of me and you know that I’m not lying to you when I tell you that I enjoy having girls. You always thought of the two of us as similar, but now you’re afraid that we might indeed be – like this.”




“That’s… totally ridiculous,” the younger boy demanded weakly, feeling a sudden urge to run – only he wasn’t entirely sure from what.
“Oh yeah?” Ryo asked with a sly grin, getting up from his seat.
He slid around the table easily and daringly sat down right on Yamapi’s lap, straddling him effectively. The younger boy’s eyes grew wide as he backed away, pressing his back into the sofa. Ryo simply took hold of his face, keeping it steady and leaning forward.
“Ryo,” Yamapi sighed, eyes growing wide in slightly upcoming panic. “What…?”
“Shut up,” Ryo demanded harshly.




The younger boy obeyed, unable to even think about fighting.
“Close your eyes,” Ryo ordered, still sounding demanding, but with a calmer voice.
Unable to do anything else Yamapi slid his eyes shut and the second later felt soft pressure against his lips. He jerked slightly, but still dared not move away. Fortunately, there wasn’t much else happening. The lips on his were probing slightly, nipping a bit, but other than that there were no further advances. Then the hand that had held him moved around his neck, fingers caressing him softly. He cursed himself for thinking that it was indeed a nice touch, but then Ryo’s voice startled him again.
“Now kiss me.”




Words softly breathed against his mouth and he panicked again – over being tempted. Lips were soft against his own and it wasn’t sickening at all like he had expected. Was it really bad to give into that? Just a little bit?
“Wow, you seem to recover quite quickly,” a voice suddenly rang through the room and both guys froze in their positions.
When Ryo swished his head around he saw Takki standing in the door, two boxes in hands. He cursed inwardly, biting his lip.
“Pi assured me you were devastated,” Takki explained. “And as I can see he was indeed very worried about your state.” His eyes bore into Yamapi. “Comforting your friend?”




“He didn’t do a thing,” Ryo burst out immediately, jumping up and away from his friend. “I… tried to kiss him,” he admitted reluctantly, knowing that Takki would hate him for doing something like that.
“No, no, no,” Yamapi cut in. “He just… I was really mean and he didn’t know what else to do to make me understand…” His gaze shifted to Ryo. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? You… You were right. It’s ridiculous to try and paint the world in black and white.”
“I still should not have…” Ryo answered, shaking his head. “I mean, shit, I all but forced myself…”




“No such thing,” Yamapi interrupted him. “I was just surprised.”
“More like petrified,” Ryo mused. “I’m sorry, I completely blacked out there. I didn’t mean to do this.”
“But it sure worked,” Yamapi told him. “I… I think I really see now. I mean, there is just…”
“What on earth happened here?!” Takki demanded, gaze shifting between the two guys warily, but still glaring in fury.
Ryo sighed. “Want to sit down?”
Takki grumbled, but flung himself down. “Okay, I’m listening.”




______________________________________________________________________________________




“So you’re saying, you wanted to `test´-kiss him, so he would shut up about the straight and gay thing?” Takki finally asked Ryo.
The addressed man nodded shamefully. “I lost control somehow,” he admitted. “I was just so… furious! It was frustrating that he wouldn’t listen and…” he sighed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”
“And you were petrified into place and just let him do as he pleased?”
Yamapi merely shrugged. “I don’t think he would have done any more. I don’t think he meant anything with it either.”




Takki just waved him off and Yamapi immediately fell silent. Nobody spoke for a while, everybody dwelling in their own messed-up thoughts. Finally Takki sighed.
“So, do you like Ryo now?” Takki asked looking at Yamapi.
The boy blinked. “Eh? What? No! No way! I mean, I’ll admit now that a guy’s touch won’t make me sick. It’s nice being close, but no way I’d go for Ryo. No offence, pal.”
“None taken,” Ryo assured him, pulling nervously on his cigarette.
“Can you please stop that?!” Takki demanded. “It’s awful.”
“My place, my rules,” Ryo shrugged, pulling again.




“If you want to make this work, I’ll just let you know that your place, or not, I won’t tolerate other guys around.”
Ryo halted, staring at him. “What – you still want to try this?”
Takki bit his lip, then sighed. “Well… I left you after I slept with you, leaving no more than a note that said I don’t want to see you anymore. That was awful. You attacked Pi and tried to kiss him just because you two can’t argue properly. That was… stupid. So, maybe we’re even now and we start from here.”
Ryo looked at him sceptically. “Is it really that simple?”
“I don’t know,” Takki sighed. “But after all this shit, I just don’t want it to be complicated anymore, so just leave it already.”




Yamapi chuckled slightly. “You guys really fit somehow. Well, I’ll be on my way now. Three guys are indeed too much for this place right now.”
He got up and as Ryo made to show him out the younger boy waved him off. “Don’t bother. I know m way out. You guys… make up properly,” he grinned, winking.
“Get out already,” Ryo told him with a pout.
Takki chuckled slightly under his breath.
Ryo looked at him, quirking a brow. “Right, you were the one who had the hots for him. Shouldn’t I be the one complaining?”




“You are the one who stole his kiss,” Takki teased back.
“I wouldn‘t really call it a kiss,” though,” Ryo mused.
“Closer than I ever got,” Takki insisted.
“His lips are rough,” Ryo tried.
Takki laughed at that. “Nah, I think I’ll live not having kissed him. So long as I get to kiss you?”
“So long as you won’t imagine it’s him?” Ryo suggested back.
A warm chuckle. “Hardly. Want me to show you how much I want you?”
“But isn’t it my turn to be top?” Ryo asked, looking expectantly at the other.
“Why, for a newbie you sure know how things run,” Takki grinned. “But very well, I think I can want that just as much…”

______________________________________________________________________________________

YAY! Done! I'm so happy. And first off I want to say "Yays for Yamapi"! I hope I didn't write him unlikable. That was not my intension. He is a good friend to Ryo, but he too is only an average guy, who finds himself a bit lost at his friend's sudden change of interests. So, please don't be too angry with him, ne? ^^ Pi's reaction is something that mirrors what we find everywhere around us. It's an understandable reaction. And he catches himself quite quickly. More so than Ryo-chan, I think. ^^ But that's okay, becuase he is still adjusting to this new situation. Anyway, I hope you liked it!

Ah, before I forget it: I could close this here, but if there are requests, I might add a little smut story, or two. ^^ Well, not that I'll turn down story-line ideas. ^_~ Plus, I have a kind of side-fic that relates to Pi "washing Takki's hair and making him face reality". In case anyone would like to read. Just let me know. :D Okay, off to the next one. *runs*

Chapter 4