authors_paradise | East to West, Shadow to Light, 先 to 後, Me to You

Pairing: TakkiRyo
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. Well, the idea is, but the characters are not.
Warnings: swearing, angst, kissing (duh)
Multi-chapter

Intro: So, the two tormented characters meet in the worst moment you could imagine. And if you can't get back, the only way to go is forward.

Note: At first I wanted to make this longer, but then things got out of hand a bit. ^^" Then I thought I could juts cut it, but cutting the first sex scene is not ym style, so you'll have to wait for the igher rating just a little bit more. Tiny little bit, really. But hey, they're finally kissing. ^_~ My apologies to all LE readers, I'll update real soon,, I promise! For now, please enjoy this!

Takki stared, terrified. Ryo was just standing there, watching him, with an unusually concerned look on his face. HE gulped once, pondering what he could possibly say, but he didn’t even get the chance to before Ryo opened the door to the co-driver’s seat and, without even asking for permission, simply slid into the seat, closing the door after him. Then it was silent. They kept sitting there, both staring straight ahead, the air thick between the pair of them, each boy dealing with his own torment.

“Sorry,” Ryo finally muttered. “For intruding, I mean. Just… you looked like you needed company.”

“Anyone, but you,” Takki sighed out without thinking. He blushed at the surprised look that statement got him, then smiled nervously. “Well, I mean, you’re my junior, so… I don’t really want you to see me like this.”

“Friend,” Ryo mumbled out.

Takki blinked at him.

“You said that,” Ryo explained. “That you no longer see me as a junior. That we’re… friends now.”

“Friends, right,” Takki nodded thoughtfully.

“So, isn’t it okay to cry your heart out to a friend?” Ryo asked, eyes gleaming at him.

Takki sighed in desperation, but nodded yet again. “Yeah, I guess that’s right. Thank you. I don’t mean to bother you, though,” he stated in a last attempt to get out of that nightmare.

It seemed, though, that Ryo was very intent to let him live all his worst fears and dreads.

“It’s okay,” the younger man assured him. “I’ll listen to you.”

Takki smiled sadly at him. “My place?” he asked, as he finally started his car.

Ryo found himself blushing at the prospect. While he and Takki had grown close during their shooting, he had never been to the other’s apartment. It felt kind of too intimate, somehow, but even so he finally gave a short nod.

“Okay,” he agreed. A longer pause followed that seemed kind of awkward, so Ryo finally spoke up again. “I’ll finally get to see where you live.”

“Don’t expect too much,” Takki warned playfully. “I’m just another single guy.”

Ryo just nodded, but then a thought hit him. “Ano… your room mate?”

“Mariko?” Takki asked, surprised. “Oh, never worry about her,” he waved the other off. “She’s out tonight. Probably until morning. But really, even when she’s in she’s so discrete, you’ll barely notice she’s there.”

Ryo just nodded, feeling a bit relieved and excited, knowing that they would be alone in the appartment.

Why am I happy about this? What on earth am I expecting? That he’ll just pin me to the nearest wall once we’re in and kiss me senseless? That’s so bad-movie style. Plus, do I even want that? Why on earth did I get into this car in the first place?

Takki eyed Ryo, who seemed lost in his thoughts. He sighed.

What do I do now? Not only is he going to ask what this is all about, he’s gonna be in my rooms at the time. Why on earth do I take him home with me? What do I expect? That I confess to him with some sappy speech and cut into his silence with a kiss and he’ll melt into my arms? Not quite likely. Plus, friends or not, he’s still my junior. Why does Mariko have to be out tonight of all times? Shit.

The drive was relatively silent, occasionally lit by awkward attempts of small talk.

“Looks like it’s going to rain.”

“Mh.”

“This neighbourhood is really nice.”

“Yeah, it’s quite peaceful.”

“Here’s where I usually buy my groceries.”

“Oh.”

Not too long after, they arrived at Takki’s apartment. Takki had, of course, his own parking space in the house’s underground garage, so they drove right into the broad driveway. And some garage it was. Not the kind you see at your local malls, where the parking spaces are really narrow and the light was dull. This was classy. Brightly lit, clean and it didn’t even smell of gas too bad. Takki’s parking space was broad, with extra lights to indicate the lines. The older man stopped the engine and opened the door.

“Come on,” he urged. “Elevator’s that way,” he explained, pointing into the according direction.

“You have an elevator that brings you straight to your apartment?” Ryo asked in awe.

“Yes. It’s really quite comfortable,” Takki agreed.

“You can say that again,” Ryo retorted, looking around the area in wonder. “What does this place cost you?”

“Not so much, considering that the upper half of the building belongs to Johnny,” Takki grinned, pressing the button of the elevator.

“It does?” Ryo asked, surprised. “I didn’t know Johnny had interest in real estates.”

“Well, he planned to make a kind of second head quarter several years ago,” Takki explained. “But then he decided that it would be better to expand the areal we were already working in. He kept this one, though, as a real estate investment. I can live here for a considerable amount of money. In exchange I keep Johnny up to date on what’s going on in the house.”

A soft binging sound could be heard and the elevator doors slid open.

“After you,” Takki said, making an inviting gesture.

Ryo just nodded thankfully and got in. He watched as Takki pressed the button to the 64^th floor. He looked impressed and Takki smiled.

“The view is nice,” he promised.

“Way cool,” Ryo said, staring open-mouthed again as he realised that the elevator had glass walls that allowed him to watch their surroundings even as they were going up. He stared as the lights of the town flew by them like lightning, before another binging sound was heard and the doors opened again.

“Come on,” Takki told him, fumbling in his pants, apparently looking for his keys.

Once he found them, he selected a silvery one that had magnetic security dots on it. He opened the door swiftly and guided Ryo inside.

“O-jama shimasu,” Ryo stated silently.

“Please, no need for formalities,” Takki told him. “If you want slippers,” he said, pointing at a small bag hanging on the door, “help yourself.”

Ryo blinked. He hadn’t expected Takki to live in such a modern way. He pulled off his shoes, placed them at the step neatly, got back up and gasped as he felt weight pressing against him, staring wide-eyed at Takki who was practically in his face, weight leaning on Ryo. The two boys looked at each other, mesmerised.

No way. He wouldn’t. Is he going to…?

“S-sorry,” Takki stuttered, blushing as he drew back almost forcefully. “Lost my balance.”

“’s okay,” Ryo mumbled, feeling his face heating up as well.

“Well, do come in,” Takki offered, leading the way.

“In case you need it, here’s the bathroom,” he said, pointing at a door to his left. “This one’s my kitchen, but you had better not look in there. Mariko is sweet, but she cooks like the devil. This is her room, by the way,” he continued, pointing at another door, “this one’s my bedroom,” he stated and Ryo thought that he was suddenly walking a bit faster, passing by and swishing into, “the living room,” he finally stated. “Do take a seat, I’ll make some tea. If I can find the heater, that is,” Takki joked weakly, before he slid out the door again.

Ryo took a look around. This was not an apartment. It was a loft. Well, a loft with an apartment in it, most probably. The living area was huge, a black leather sofa combination on premium parquet, a little neatly polished glass table in the middle, even with a small vase on it. A huge flat screen TV hanging on a side wall, huge artistic pictures on the other walls, a rather small white to grey carpet, shelves with books on them and a beautiful grand piano in the farther corner. Ryo kept looking at it for a while, but then his gaze was caught by the glass front of the room, an entire see-through wall that allowed a gaze to the outside world. Takki had not exaggerated. The view was breath-taking. He went to the window front and let his gaze wander.

“Nice?” Takki asked from the door.

Ryo started, turning around, for some reason suddenly feeling nervous again.

“I didn’t expect you would live like this,” he admitted silently.

Takki chuckled nervously. “People keep telling me it doesn’t suit me.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Ryo insisted, blushing.

The older man just chuckled mildly. “It’s okay. Relax. I was just kidding.”

It was silent again as Takki set down a tray with a can of hot tea and two cups down on the table. Finally Ryo got to one of the black sofas and seated himself carefully. He smiled thankfully as Takki offered him a steaming cup of tea, accepting it with deft fingers.

“They’re wrong,” he mumbled out.

Takki blinked at him.

“Well, those people,” Ryo explained. “I think this suits you perfectly.”

The older man smiled warmly at him. “Thanks. That’s very sweet.”

Ryo blushed a bit at that and Takki, seeing that felt equally embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck.

“Aren’t you going to sit?” Ryo asked.

The older man bit his lip. What to do now?

Where do I sit now? We’ve been close, I’d always sit next to him. But that wouldn’t be good right now. Definitely not. But what if he’ll ask me about it? But then, it’s my apartment, I can always argue that I’ve got my favourite place wherever. But still…

Reluctantly Takki finally seated himself next to the other on the sofa. Then silence spread again. Takki poured himself some tea and both of them sipped from their cups occasionally, but other than that it was completely silent.

“So,” Ryo finally broke the silence, “what happened?”

Takki gulped some of his tea to buy some time. “Eh? Oh, that,” he sighed out. “The Hey! Say! Boys gave me a hard time.” It was true, Takki decided.

“Ah, it must be bothersome,” Ryo nodded, “taking care of the younger ones all the time.”

“I really like doing it,” Takki told him. “Just… maybe it was a bit too much lately.”

“What happened?” Ryo wanted to know and Takki gulped.

Ryo would notice if he lied, he knew that. So, he tried to talk around the issue.

“Hikaru-kun,” he said warily, “he was gossiping about the set.”

“Ah, that’s nasty,” Ryo admitted. “About Mizukawa-kun?” he asked. When Takki shot him a surprised look, he chuckled nervously. “Sorry, just thought… that might be it.”

“Well, it was,” Takki continued. “In part.”

“What was the other part?” Ryo kept inquiring.

“Why do you care so much?” Takki asked defensively.

“Well, maybe because I found you sitting in your car crying,” Ryo suggested, sounding a bit worked up.

“I did not cry,” Takki waved him off agitatedly.

“Well, close enough,” the smaller man retorted.

“It wasn’t so bad.”

“Then tell me.”

Takki looked at Ryo for a second, then faced the table again.

“Fine,” he bit out. “Hikaru suggested there’s something going on between the two of us.”

Ryo just stared at the other for a while. He gulped.

“What,” he stuttered. “You mean… like, we’re having an affair, or something?”

“Something like that,” Takki shrugged, trying to sound casual.

Ryo felt his heart racing, hitching a breath. “H-how on earth would he get such an idea?”

“Who knows?” the older man mumbled. “Well, we’re kind of close. Maybe that got him to think… But not to worry. I set him straight on it.”

“Yeah?”

“Well,” Takki chuckled, “come on. It’s almost funny, isn’t it? We grew up together. I’ve known you forever. We’re like siblings.”

“Right,” Ryo agreed flatly with a slack nod.

“And what’s more,” Takki continued, feeling a bit relieved that Ryo seemed relatively unimpressed by the info, “you’re straight.” At that Ryo froze. “I don’t know where the boy gets these ideas,” the older man continued, shaking his head.

Then his gaze fell upon Ryo and the latter stiffened even more, shifting uncomfortably.

“What?” Takki asked, sounding worried. “It’s okay. He understands now,” he assured the other. “Maybe he just wanted to check his own chances with you, who knows. But I told him you like girls, so it’s okay.”

Ryo just nodded, lips pressed together. Takki felt his stomach flutter at the nervous fumbling Ryo did with his fingers. He knew it was impossible, but just for a moment he allowed himself to consider. Growing more excited than was good for him, he continued before even thinking about it.

“You do, right?” he asked, looking firmly at Ryo. “You like girls.”

“I… yeah,” Ryo muttered out, but the next second shook his head, gripping his hair.

Takki’s eyes grew wider. “What – not?” he asked, gulping again.

“No,” Ryo sighed out desperately. “I mean, I do. I like girls.” A longer pause followed. “Just…” Ryo finally added, dropping his head.

“Just?” Takki whispered out, carefully reaching out with his hand to cover Ryo’s on his thigh. He felt flushed with happiness when he found that the other did not shrug him off.

Ryo raised his head again, looking at Takki. “There is something… I don’t know what to do with,” he tried to explain.

“It’s okay,” Takki assured him. “Tell me.”

Kiss me. Touch me. Oh god… Argh, get a grip.

“We’re friends, right?” Ryo asked timidly.

Takki just nodded reassuringly.

“Then,” Ryo continued, licking dry lips, “will you help a friend who doesn’t know where to go? I’m lost. Will you help me?”

Before Takki could even answer Ryo had moved closer to him, now facing him more directly and leaning in towards him.

If I can just do this, I’ll know. Maybe I’m just getting worked up over nothing. Maybe it’s nothing at all. I do like girls, after all. It might just be something I got stuck on. Just let me see. I have to…

“What are you doing?” Takki whispered against his lips, sounding breathless, but somehow also a bit hurt.

“Asking a friend for help,” Ryo whispered right back.

“But friends don’t kiss…”

The last of Takki’s syllables was already lost against Ryo’s lips, who closed the distance between them, moving his lips against the other’s carefully.

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What's with me? I never do cliffhangers in LE. Well, maybe TakkiRyo is the pairing for this kind of thing. Well, as you can guess things are gonna get interesting. So, please stay tuned. ^^ Vivi-chan, I hope you liked it. :)

Chapter 2

Chapter 4