Lucky Charm - Chapter 7: My Life with my Family

[yoru-no-hikaru.livejournal.com]

Pairing: KinKi Kids
Other characters: Nagase Tomoya, MA, 4U, Uchi Hiroki, KAT-TUN mainly
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don't own them, just love them ^^
Setting: AU
Warnings: Bit angsty, swearing, kissing (yes, they are :D ), mentions of sexual situations
Multi-Chapter


Notes: YAYS!!!! \(^o^)/ It's September. FINALLY!!! And I'm officially back. It's been such an incredibly long time and I am really happy to be able to update again. It was a really long break, but I hope you will be looking forward to the new updates, which will be coming regularly again now. Updating this one first, because it's been on my mind for such a long time. I hope you will like it. ^___^


Intro: We're back 12 weeks after the dimensional switch. Many things have happened, quite a lot has settled down, but other things are only just on the rise. And just as you're already having a number of problems to face, that's when your family barges in and ravels things up even more...






“Okay, we’re going to have a short break before shooting the second episode,” the director announced. “Horikita-san, that you so much for being here.”
The girl bowed happily and the entire crew applauded in acknowledgement.
“Okay, I’ll have a short nap,” Koichi announced, getting up to take his well-known place on the sofa in the dressing room.
Tsuyoshi sighed, not feeling like following the other. Ever since they had their little private moment together he found it hard to be around Koichi – and not jump him. He knew he couldn’t bring the topic up, but the memory kept haunting him. In his dreams and even whenever Koichi just smiled at him. But what could he possibly do? Of course, he could exploit the fact that this Koichi was more than willing to give him anything that he wanted. Still, it was quite likely that Koichi would go back to his own dimension in a not too far away future and then what? He knew that his Koichi would never…
“Tsuyoshi!”




He jumped, being ripped out of his train of thoughts. In front of him there was a tall figure with long red hair, looking at him skeptically.
“Takami,” Tsuyoshi sighed. “You almost gave me a heart-attack.”
“Well, you seemed pretty much out,” Takamizawa analyzed. “Is everything okay?”
Tsuyoshi smiled sadly at him. “Somehow I can’t fool you. I wonder how you keep doing it.”
“It’s not just you,” Takamizawa told him. “Koichi seems pretty off lately as well.”
Tsuyoshi sighed, shaking his head. “Quite a lot has happened as of late,” he explained vaguely. “We’re okay. Just… hey, can we talk about this after the recording?”
Takamizawa blinked at him in surprise, but nodded. “Okay, sure.”
“Cool,” the other smiled at him. “Then I’ll tell you what’s on my mind.”
“Fine, then,” Takamizawa nodded.




Several minutes later they started with the shooting of their second episode. It was pretty easy. Koichi always found it easier to work with people from the agency and Yamapi had quite some experience, so they were done rather quickly. Afterwards Tsuyoshi told Koichi that he wanted to visit a temple for some inspiration. Koichi accepted that without a question and decided to move on into their apartment directly and check through a new video game. Once pretty much everybody had left Tsuyoshi and Takami sat together in the KinKi dressing room.
“Okay,” Takamizawa began, looking at Tsuyoshi expectantly, “what is it? What’s on your mind these days, Tsuyoshi?”
“It’s… a bit complicated,” the other stated vaguely.
“Dammit, stop hitting around the bush already,” Takamizawa urged him. “Nobody else is here anymore, so just tell me already.”
“I just don’t really know where to start,” Tsuyoshi explained. “How to explain…”
“Just very plainly, “the taller man suggested.
“Okay,” Tsuyoshi sighed, shooting him a determined look. He licked his lips and then decided to go for it. “Let’s say… I kissed Koichi.”




“Oh god, Tsuyoshi, please, not that again,” Takamizawa complained.
“Let’s just say,” Tsuyoshi insisted.
“What’s the point?” Takamizawa demanded. “It’s not going to happen and I’ve told you…”
“But it did,” Tsuyoshi burst out angrily. He couldn’t suppress the sly grin that came to his face for a second at the other’s shocked expression. “It did happen,” he repeated, calmly this time. “I kissed him.”
“But…” Takamizawa stared. “When? Where? … How?”
“It’s… complicated,” Tsuyoshi said nervously, licking his lips.
“Well, what did he say about it?” the older man wanted to know.
“Well, he…” Tsuyoshi stuttered. “He wasn’t quite… himself.”
“Oh, don’t tell me,” Takamizawa demanded. “You did not take advantage of him?”




“How could I take advantage of him?” Tsuyoshi asked, sounding angry again.
“While he was high?” the other suggested with a shrug.
Tsuyoshi shook his head, though. “No, that’s not how it happened. It was just…” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter. It won’t happen again. It’s just… Oh, I wish it never would have happened. It’s one thing to long for something, it’s an entirely different thing to have experienced it and crave it with a bitter memory.”
“Oh dear, Tsuyoshi,” Takamizawa said sympathetically.
He embraced the miserable looking figure of Tsuyoshi and the other lathed on immediately, letting himself fall into strong arms. He felt like a stupid lovesick teenager and he hated it to the point where he felt literally sick.
“Why can’t I just let it go?”
“Love doesn’t know reason,” Takamizawa said in a soothing voice, rubbing his back.
Tsuyoshi huffed slightly at that. “That’s a stupid statement.”




“You might think it’s stupid now,” the taller man tried to reason.
“No, it’s still going to be stupid tomorrow.”
“But no less true than today.”
“What should I do, then?” Tsuyoshi asked, looking up at the other helplessly.
Takamizawa cringed, seeing tears on the younger man’s face. “Tsuyoshi…”He sighed. “Why do you have to suffer so much? I should really talk to Koichi. It’s not okay to just… toy with you like that.”
“No, it’s not his fault,” Tsuyoshi denied.
“The hell it isn’t,” the other shot back, sounding worked up. “Of course, it’s his fault. What is he thinking, to treat you like this? He knows you like him, so it’s really unacceptable.”
Tsuyoshi stared at that. “No, he can’t know. I never told him…”




Takamizawa smiled at him sympathetically. “Tsuyoshi… he knows. He might not admit to it, even to himself, but he definitely knows. He’s always kept his distance too, to respect your feelings. I don’t understand why he would break with that now.”
Tsuyoshi bit his lip at that. “It must be hard for him too,” he muttered. The other merely blinked at him. “You know, seeing me every day, knowing that I… you know, that it’s like that for me and always having to deal with it. To act…”
“Tsuyoshi-kun, you’re too considerate,” the other told him. “It’s okay to be angry. He gave you that… glimpse just to retreat again.”
“I promised,” Tsuyoshi whispered.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“I promised… I’d forgive him. I just didn’t think that it would be like this.”
“Dammit, Tsuyoshi, stop torturing yourself. It’s not like you have to sulk at him, but if you’re mad, just let it out.”




Tsuyoshi looked at him skeptically at first, but then his face hardened.
“Why did he have to do that?” he asked desperately. “I mean, I allowed it, of course, but dammit, I always wanted… And he knows. He knows and he just took advantage of my feelings. I know he’s hurting too right now. He’s lost and lonely and he doesn’t quite know where to go or what to do. Still, is it okay to simply take what you want, even when you know you’re taking something that’s not for you to have?”
Takamizawa blinked at him. “Tsuyoshi, what is going on between you two?”
The younger man merely waved him off. “It’s Koichi’s own business. He’d kill me if I said anything. It doesn’t really have to do with me. Not really…”
“Well, it’s okay to support your colleague,” Takamizawa told him. “But please be sure to protect yourself. You don’t have to watch out for him, you know. He’s a grown man and he can handle his own business.”
“And your point?” Tsuyoshi asked, tilting his head.
“Why don’t you… try to relax a bit,” the other suggested. “You know, do something for yourself. I’m sure Koichi is going to be fine for a while.”




The other merely nodded. He did not much feel like doing anything, but then, it couldn’t get any worse, but it could possible still get better, so he decided to give it a try. So, after saying good-bye to Takamizawa, he picked out his phone and called Koichi on his way back out onto the street.
“Hey, want to have sushi tonight?” Koichi sounded cheerfully from the other end.
Tsuyoshi smiled. “Sorry, I’m just calling in to tell you I’ll be late. Why don’t you invite your friend over? I’m sure he’ll be overjoyed.”
There was a short pause and even though he knew that Koichi did not dislike the idea of meeting Nagase he sounded much less enthusiastic when he finally answered.
“Oh, okay. Well, we can put the huge screen to good use. You’ll be out long?”
“Yeah, I… the temple really did the trick. I have this song on my mind now that I really want to bring down on paper,” Tsuyoshi lied. “Better don’t wait up.”




“Don’t overdo it,” Koichi told him.
“I’ll be sure to take it easy,” the other promised. “See you later.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Tsuyoshi sighed as he hung up. He hated lying to his… to Koichi. But then, he couldn’t well have told him what he was up to. About twenty minutes later he stepped into the highly over-decorated rooms of an otherwise rather plain looking building.
“Good evening,” a young man greeted him with a smile. “How may I help you?”
Tsuyoshi took a look at the chart next to the counter.
“That one,” he stated simply, pointing at the picture of a guy, next to which there was a charge that Tsuyoshi didn’t even look at very closely.
“Ah, Rei-kun,” the young man nodded. “He is free right now. Full service?”




Tsuyoshi merely nodded.
“Hosts must be back within two hours, if they are away longer, there will be a penalty fee.”
“I understand,” Tsuyoshi muttered.
“Do you want any specials? Like, dress-requirements? Dialect? Characteristic features?”
“No, thank you,” Tsuyoshi waved him off. Then a thought hit him, though. “No, wait.”
“Yes?” the young man at the counter asked, still smiling.
“Ah… dominating. I mean, a dominant character,” he quickly corrected himself.
“I see,” the guy said with a nod. “I’ll go and fetch him. Please have a seat while you wait, Rei will be with you in a minute.”




“Thanks,” Tsuyoshi mumbled, sitting down at a table that was slightly off-shot.
Even so, other hosts approached him the second he sat down, trying to appeal and make him change his mind about his choice. Tsuyoshi merely ignored them, though, and fortunately it was only a few minutes later that the young man called Rei was coming out of the secluded section.
“Good evening,” he offered politely with a slight bow. “Thank you for choosing me as your companion tonight.”
Tsuyoshi merely got up and led the way out of the room.
“Sorry,” he said evenly, “I’m afraid I’m not very pleasant company tonight.”
“It’s okay,” the young man assured him. “Unless you want to deal pain, I don’t provide that kind of service.”
Tsuyoshi had to laugh at that. “No such thing.”




“We should be fine, then,” the guy assured him. He took Tsuyoshi’s arm and snuggled up to him. “I’ll give it my best to lighten your mood.” His lips nipped lightly at Tsuyoshi’s ear.
“I wonder if I ordered a tease?” Tsuyoshi mused.
“Maybe you didn’t,” Rei chirped with a wink, “but you sure want one.”
“Let’s get in here,” Tsuyoshi decided, pulling the young man roughly through the door of a random love hotel.
“Oh, well, it seems you know what you want,” Rei grinned.
“And I want it now,” Tsuyoshi told him.
He quickly pulled the key for a room out of the key machine and pulled Rei along to their room. The place wasn’t exactly fancy, maybe not even too clean, but he didn’t mind. Who was this guy to taunt him? Hadn’t he already had more than enough shit to take? He’d show him. Show that dirty little whore what he was there for. He said nothing along their way towards their room, he simply kept dragging the host, then quickly opened the door and flung the man onto the bed. Rei landed ungraciously, but quickly looked up to grin at Tsuyoshi.
“Oh, you like it rough?”




Tsuyoshi took a deep breath. His anger had faded somewhat. It wasn’t Rei’s fault that he was feeling off. He was merely there to provide some… distraction. And the man deserved proper treatment, no matter Tsuyoshi paid for the service.
“Sorry, I’m…”
“Horny?”
“Pretty much,” Tsuyoshi admitted. He quickly stripped off his shirt and discarded it to the floor. “Undress yourself,” he ordered.

Rei complied willingly, exposing his well-toned body. He really was good-looking. Definitely someone he could find pleasure with and forget… anything else. Just a moment later they were both naked on the bed, Tsuyoshi on top of the other enjoying the feeling of naked flesh against him and devouring the creamy skin in front of him. It had been forever since he had been engaged like this. He had almost forgotten how intense a sensation sex was. He moaned shamelessly as he felt hot fingers and searing lips on his body, making him quiver. It didn’t take long for Tsuyoshi to get impatient. He quickly fished for a condom and instructed Rei to do what was needed as he fixed the item on his hard dick and lubed himself up. The host was quick to prepare himself and soon offered himself to Tsuyoshi. For a moment the entertainer hesitated. It seemed wrong, but even so the urge was strong and the picture in front of him too inviting, he simply couldn’t resist.




And so he crawled between Rei’s legs and positioned himself. As he slid in he thought for a second he’d pass out. Then, however, his vision cleared again and he could breathe quite normally. The feeling was overwhelming, though. The world was still far away. Hot, wet flesh was around him and he groaned as he started to move, setting a quick, rough pace. His heart raced, his skin was burning up every time fingers or lips touched him. He knew that it wasn’t love-making, the background of what he was doing was still in the back of his head, but it was far enough away to let him feel just what he was doing. They were one, moving together, striving for that one goal, further, higher. Hot hands clasper his shoulders, seeking support, it was so hot it took his breath away, but only for a second, because then a rough moan escaped him.
“Oh god, Koichi…”



________________________________________________________________________________________________




“Who is he?”
Tsuyoshi blinked at Rei, who was dragging on a cigarette.
“Koichi,” he guy grinned boldly.
Tsuyoshi blushed at that. “Sorry, I…”
“No, that’s okay,” Rei waved him off. “It happens quite a lot, actually. I just can’t help being nosy. Sorry about that.”
“Is that why you don’t get booked regularly?” Tsuyoshi asked. “You’re being cheeky?”
“What do you mean?” Rei shrugged. ”You ordered cheeky.”
“True,” Tsuyoshi grinned.
“So, who is he?”




“I’m not talking about it.”
”Why not? Is he your boss?”
“You’re being quite bold, there.”
“Your friend’s husband?” Rei kept probing. “Your brother?”
At that Tsuyoshi shot him a glare.
“Hey, I meet all kinds of weird people every day,” Rei shrugged.
“Should be expected,” Tsuyoshi muttered.
“So, it’s pretty hard to surprise me,” the guy explained.
“I’ll take you up on that,” Tsuyoshi grinned. “Ever met a real lunatic?”
“Once,” Rei grinned back. “Okay, give it to me.”




He put out his cigarette and lay down on the bed fully, facing Tsuyoshi.
“Koichi,” Tsuyoshi started to relate, “is my colleague at work. We’ve been working together for about 15 years now. It’s not like we were ever very close, but I started to really like him. Then, a few weeks ago something totally absurd happened. Koichi… changed. Drastically. What’s more, he had this weird idea that we are lovers and that we live together and our work goes quite different ways.”
“So he went nuts?”
“We decided that it’s either that, or he and his counterpart from another dimension changed places for some reason we don’t know.”
“That’s what you concluded,” Rei blinked. Tsuyoshi merely nodded at him and the guy grinned. “Why, that sounds pretty exciting.”
Tsuyoshi snorted at that. “So, you think it’s a logical conclusion?”




“Why not?” Rei shrugged. “No more or less logical than suddenly losing your mind for no reason.”
Tsuyoshi blinked at that. “You know… there’s a point.”
“If you’re clever you try to win him over,” the host suggested.
“Huh?”
“You know, if this guy likes you and you like him, why don’t you make him yours, then?”
“Because he isn’t mine,” Tsuyoshi explained. “It’s really weird… to think that there is this… guy. This man. Supposedly this other version of myself – but it still feels a bit like I’m cheating him. Koichi is his lover, after all.”
“Come to think of it, it really is weird,” Rei mused.
“He is quite lost here. Misses his lover and all. So, the other night…”
“Oh, you had sex?”




“No,” Tsuyoshi shot right out. “He was just having a weak moment. We kissed. Well, maybe a bit more than just a single kiss, but nothing much. But now I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Oh dear,” Rei dragged out. “You’re quite done for.”
“Tell me about it,” Tsuyoshi grumbled.
The host lifted himself up and sat astride Tsuyoshi’s hips.
“Care for another go?” he suggested, stroking Tsuyoshi’s muscles teasingly.



________________________________________________________________________________________________



“OI!”
Koichi jumped as teasing fingers poked his sides. He swished around to find the figure of Tsuyoshi standing behind him, grinning mischievously.
“Whatever was that for?” Koichi complained, stroking the angered spots.
“It’s called flirting,” the other explained playfully.
“Well, I’m not that kind of guy,” Koichi told him, resuming his work on the kitchen counter.
“I’ll remember that,” Tsuyoshi promised.
Next Koichi jumped again as warm arms circled around him, a warm body pressed to his back and tickling breath against his ear.
“Are you more like this kind of guy?” Tsuyoshi asked in a hushed voice.
Koichi shuddered for a second and cursed his tell-tale body for giving away so easily that it longed for attention, whoever was willing to give it. He recovered quickly, though, trying to joke about the situation.




“Are you waiting for me to get desperate?”
He could feel the other’s grin against his neck.
“Koichi is never desperate,” Tsuyoshi explained. “Koichi gets needy and if he does he gets what he wants.”
Koichi had to grin a bit too, but thought it was time to draw back just a bit. While he liked the way Tsuyoshi offered his attention to him, he had to make sure not to cross any lines. He brought a good distance between himself and the other man to resume his work.
“Tsuyoshi-kun, I’m trying to prepare something to eat here,” he told the other. “You keep saying how much you appreciate that I eat well. So, why don’t you let me finish here?”
“It’s an exotic sight,” Tsuyoshi admitted. “One I absolutely could get used to.”
“You should ask your lover to cook for you, then,” Koichi suggested. “I’m pretty sure that he’d be capable.”
“I’m already happy if Koichi eats what I cook,” Tsuyoshi joked.




He wanted to suggest cooking some fresh rice, when they were interrupted by a phone ringing.
“Ah, that would be you,” Tsuyoshi analyzed.
“Oh, can you get it?” Koichi requested, stirring wildly in his pot.
“Are you sure?” the other asked skeptically.
“Hey, we’re a supposed couple,” Koichi shrugged. “I don’t think it will rouse any questions.”
“Okay, fine,” Tsuyoshi agreed and went to pick up the phone. When he saw the display his eyes grew wide, but he picked up. “Hi. Sorry, Koichi is cooking right now. … Yeah, I know, shocking.”
Koichi chuckled lightly at that.




“Yeah, we… oh?” Tsuyoshi licked his lips, giving Koichi a look the other could not really read. “Sure, why not? No, no, it’s not a problem at all. No, Koichi will be delighted.”
At that Koichi looked up again. Tsuyoshi gave him an apologetic look and Koichi merely shrugged at him.
“Of course, I’ll tell him. … Absolutely. … Yes, see you.”
As soon as Tsuyoshi had hung up Koichi blurted his question out at him.
“Who was that?”
Instead of answering, Tsuyoshi closed in on the other again. Koichi stiffened slightly as he got a soft peck on his cheek.
“I thought we were through with that,” he complained as the other drew back.
“Your mom,” Tsuyoshi explained with a smile. “She says she loves you. And to give you a kiss.”




“Oh,” Koichi made, nodding slightly, but still feeling a bit weird. Something seemed off.
“Oh yeah, she will be visiting today,” Tsuyoshi finally added.
“WHAT?!”
“Your mother wants to visit today,” the other repeated.
“But… why?”
“She just drops by once in a while,” Tsuyoshi shrugged. “You know, the way parents do with their kid’s families.”
“But… we are no family,” Koichi opposed.
For a second Koichi thought Tsuyoshi would start to cry and immediately regretted being so harsh. The expression was erased again quickly, though, and replaced by a sympathetic smile.




“I’m sorry,” Tsuyoshi said apologetically. “I know this is hard enough on you. But then, what should I have told her?”
“But what do we do now?” Koichi wanted to know. “She’ll expect us to be… you know, couple-like.”
“I do not indulge in romantic activities when your parents are here,” Tsuyoshi shrugged. “There is nothing you have to worry about.”
“But…” Koichi mused skeptically, “there are so many other things. The way you act around each other, talk to each other…”
“It’s going to be okay,” Tsuyoshi assured him.
“Okay,” Koichi nodded. “Fine, I can do that.”
Sure, you can,” Tsuyoshi smiled at him.
“Right… should I get anything? Cake? Other bakery?”




“It’s okay,” Tsuyoshi told him. “I bought a set of mochi today.”
“Oh,” Koichi beamed. “Filling?”
Tsuyoshi smiled at him. “Strawberry-cream.”
“Yay,” Koichi exclaimed. “Do you think I should cook a bit more?”
“This is fine,” Tsuyoshi decided. “If we want to have dinner later, we can order something in.”
“Okay,” Koichi nodded. “I just really hope this is going to be okay.”
“Of course,” the other nodded.
Even with the reassuring words Koichi felt his stomach twisting as the doorbell rang about an hour later. He quickly rushed to the door, opening it and forcing a smile on his lips.




“Good afternoon, mother,” he greeted the woman in front of him.
“Hello, Koichi,” the woman smiled at him. “Did you cook for me?”
“Yeah, that,” Koichi dragged out. “I was… making up for something. So I fixed lunch today.”
“Oh, is it not a good time?” his mother asked, frowning.
“No, no,” Koichi waved her off. “It’s something totally random. We just might feel a bit… distant right now. Nothing to worry about, though. Please, do come in.”
“Okay, then,” his mother nodded, sounding relieved as she walked in and discarded her shoes quickly. “You should keep an eye on that man of yours. He is too good for you and the moment he realizes that you might well be in trouble.”
“Oh, he knows,” Koichi grinned as they moved on through the hallway into the living room. “He just likes the looks he gets when people learn that we’re a couple. Oh, and there’s this one thing I’m really good with that he fancies… magic tricks.”




“And while you do tricks Tsuyoshi cooks, does the laundry and the groceries.”
“Actually, the laundry is my responsibility too,” Koichi opposed. “And that’s quite complex.”
“All you’d have to do is to empty the little drawer for the lint regularly,” Tsuyoshi grinned as he joined in the scene.
“Good afternoon,” the woman greeted him kindly.
“Good afternoon,” Tsuyoshi said in kind, bowing slightly.
“Tsuyoshi, you should get a house keeper,” Koichi’s mother suggested.
“Nah,” Tsuyoshi waved her off. “Koichi’s… well, he manages. Like, really, when I’m not around he keeps the house in at least considerable shape, he can feed himself and he even takes care of the plants. Not a lot of guys can do that, so I’m actually… well, I’m happy with it.”
“Koichi, you are really lucky,” the woman analyzes.




Koichi suddenly had a flash. His mother and his supposed-lover were chatting together in their shared apartment, they had good fun work together, apparently a stable relationship… and suddenly he thought that it was true – Koichi really was a lucky guy. He had so many things that he was wishing for. He always wanted to be loved, wanted someone to share his life with and this man, Koichi, he had it all.
“Indeed,” he muttered, looking at Tsuyoshi, who smiled at him warmly.
“Ah, I’ll set up some tea,” Tsuyoshi decided. “Koichi, why don’t you two sit down in the living room? I’m sure there’s a lot you two want to talk about.”
“Sure,” Koichi smiled.
“You two seem a bit unsettled,” Koichi’s mother mused.
“Well, It’s… it’s been really busy lately,” Koichi tried to explain. “And… maybe I’ve been a bit… blind. Sometimes we don’t see the things that make us happy. We keep them at distance, ignore them – until we realize that they have gotten too far away to grasp,” he muttered.




His thoughts were running wild. What was he thinking?! Did it even make sense to think that it could have been Tsuyoshi, just because he wanted love and this here seemed to work? There was no telling if he and his Tsuyoshi would be happy. And it’s not like you simply could choose someone, merely because you don’t want to be alone. Love… happens. And it never happened between them. Well, he had blocked it. He tried to remember how things had come to be as they were between him and his colleague, but his head was spinning so much, he thought he’d forgotten his own name.
“Why so pensive, dear?”
Koichi blinked at his mother’s voice. “Sorry,” he muttered apologetically. “I guess I’m a bit over-strained these days.”
“Is Tsuyoshi taking good care of you?”
“Better than I deserve,” Koichi smiled. “Actually, I don’t think I appreciate him enough. But… I’m not sure how to show him. I mean, it’s a bit complicated. You know, I’ve been so preoccupied I didn’t really pay him the respect he deserves. I just wonder if I can still do something…”




“Of course, you can do that,” his mother said encouragingly. “It’s good that you see when you’ve gone down a wrong track. Just go back a bit and try again.
“Thank you,” Koichi smiled. “I’ll try that.”
“Here we go,” Tsuyoshi announced as he brought in a tray with a big tea can and three cups. On a small plate he had arranged the mocha neatly. “Koichi, will you serve the tea? I’ll get some small plates for the mochi.”
“Okay,” Koichi nodded.
He poured the tea, first for his mother, then for Tsuyoshi and last for himself. By the time he was done Tsuyoshi had returned and handed everybody a small plate. They sat together, drank their tea, ate sweets and chatted randomly. Koichi found it surprisingly pleasant. Even his earlier thoughts were basically forgotten. Then, however, the conversation turned distressful for him.




“Oh, I know, it was raining so bad,” Koichi’s mother related. “I was soaked, really. It was like on the day Koichi first brought you to our house.”
Tsuyoshi laughed at that, but he sounded nervous. “Yes, that was… a bit unfortunate.”
“Oh, I don’t think it was unfortunate,” the woman opposed. “Well, I mean, I was a bit shocked, of course, when I found you two… Oh, sorry dear,” she said apologetically, looking at her son.
Koichi merely blinked, though.
“What?” she laughed. “Aren’t you going to complain?”
Koichi felt panic rising in him. What was he supposed to say?
“I think Koichi’s a bit tired today,” Tsuyoshi cut in. “At any rate, I really think he’s pointed out about a million times that it was his room and you had no permission to get in without permission, or even knocking.”




Koichi paled. So she had caught them together? Like what – in the act?!
“And I have pointed out just as often that it was nothing much with the two of you merely snogging.”
Koichi heaved a sigh of relief.
“Well, he has always been a bit sensitive about his private issues,” Tsuyoshi commented.
“True,” Koichi’s mother agreed with a nod. “I remember he had the biggest problems kissing you when anyone was around. Aw, do you remember, the first kiss he gave you in front of our family?”
Tsuyoshi tensed up for a second, but then he smiled. “Of course,” he nodded back. “It was a lovely occasion.”
“You will be coming this year too, won’t you?” the woman asked.
“Oh, we wouldn’t miss your 36th anniversary for anything in the world,” Tsuyoshi answered. “Right, honey?”




Koichi blinked for a second, then understood that he was the one being addressed.
“Oh, of course,” he stuttered.
“Fantastic,” his mother beamed.
The rest of the meeting went by without any further distressing incidents. Even so Koichi felt himself relaxing considerably once he and Tsuyoshi had guided his mother back out onto the street.
“Phew, that was one meeting, huh?” Koichi stated, looking at Tsuyoshi.
“Yeah,” the other merely muttered.
Then he turned on the spot and left. Koichi blinked after him and when he heard the door of the bedroom being closed deliberately he frowned. What was going on? He was feeling wary about the situation. Tsuyoshi had somehow gotten to him, his thoughts had gone weird ways, but then, the other was always there for him when he had a problem. Damn, he had even been clean for more than two months already and it was really a good feeling. So he took a deep breath and followed the other and carefully knocked on the bed room door.




“Tsuyoshi?”
He frowned when he got no answer.
“Hey, Tsuyoshi, what’s wrong?”
Again, no answer. With a determined look he opened the door and stepped in.
“Leave me alone.”
Koichi cringed. Tsuyoshi’s voice sounded heavy and hoarse. He was crying.
“Don’t you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Koichi asked, stepping closer.
Without further hesitation he sat down on the bed next to Tsuyoshi and clasped his shoulder timidly.




"I'm sorry if I did anything," Koichi muttered.
Tsuyoshi chuckled at that. “It’s not your fault. Not like that, anyway. Koichi, please, don’t blame yourself, okay? You have enough on your mind already. You don’t have to think about my shit, okay?”
“But… I want to think about your shit,” Koichi opposed. “I mean, I know I can’t be the man you want me to be. The man that you know and love. I still don’t understand… how we can be like that. But I still want to try and help you, if I can.”
"I understand your situation all the better," Tsuyoshi smiled slightly. "All of this must be so unsettling. And I’m not really helping either, with the flirting and teasing.”
“It’s okay,” Koichi assured him. “It must be much more difficult for you.”
Tsuyoshi turned his head away. “You have no idea… When I look at you. The things that you say. You look just like him, but you are so different. And I… Oh god, I miss him so much.”
“Tsuyoshi…”




Koichi’s stomach twisted painfully. Why was he so worked up when seeing the other like that? Tsuyoshi missed his lover, but what could he…?
“Look, never mind, okay?” Tsuyoshi told him. “I just need… a few minutes.”
“Is it my fault?”
“No, Koichi, it’s not your fault. I just can’t help loving you. Even like this. The person that you are is fascinating and unsettling at the same time. You have told me your feelings and what you are thinking. My feelings are still there, though. Right now I don’t know what to do with them. And you are… It's so weird, you know. Had Koichi not confessed to me, most probably nothing ever would have happened between us."
"What, he... he confessed to you?" Koichi asked, sounding surprised.
Tsuyoshi nodded. "Well, you know," he explained, sounding nostalgic, "the way he would do it. Koichi is not the kind of guy to wrap his feelings into words. But he's straight about them and about what he wants and that is something I can love."




"How... did he do it, then?" Koichi asked.
Tsuyoshi gave him a curious look. "Are you sure you want to know?"
Koichi merely nodded.
"Well, you know, it wasn't anything romantic, or something like that. It was just... what he felt."




~* flashback *~




KinKi Kids are lying on their futons in a shared hotel room after a show they acted in together. Koichi turns to face Tsuyoshi.
"I've been thinking," he says silently.
"Hm?" Tsuyoshi asks, turning to look at Koichi too.
"Maybe we should kiss," Koichi suggests out of the blue.
"Eh?" Tsuyoshi gasps out. He shakes his head in surprise and confusion. "Why... would you suggest that now?"
"Well, I think it's only logical to at least think about it," Koichi explains with a plain shrug. "I mean, we spend a lot of time together, so that would definitely be an advantage. Relationships that are not connected with work are close to impossible to remain. And since in this group there's only the two of us... Then, I think we do get along pretty well, which might be a bit surprising at first sight, but then, we complete each other pretty well and we can learn from each other too. Basically, I think we're good for each other in many ways. And... your cooking is good..."




At that Tsuyoshi blinks. He watches Koichi closely and finds his cheeks painted with the slightest shade of pink. His heart starts to beat faster at the sight and the meaning it holds.
"Hold on," he says, tilting his head as he keeps inspecting Koichi's face closely. "Was that... a confession?"
Koichi blushes furiously at that. "Do you have to say that so…? That’s embarrassing.”
Tsuyoshi chuckles slightly. "Look at Domoto Koichi, here, the man who likes to talk about things by definition. And there he can't bring up a straightforward confession."
"You're... stupid," Koichi decides with a pout. "And I just said that thing about your cooking to make you kiss me."
"Because you do want to kiss me," Tsuyoshi analyzes.
"That..." Koichi's cheeks blow up cutely, "I just wanted to get you to do it... to see if I can."
With that he flings himself onto his other side, pretending to go to sleep.




"Ah," Tsuyoshi makes, looking at the other with a broad grin on his face.
He purposefully leaves a particularly long pause to make Koichi wonder what he might be up to. Then he shifts closer to his partners form, touching his shoulder ever so lightly.
"And don't you want your answer now?" he asks, a whisper into Koichi's ear. He feels Koichi shifting slightly against him, which encourages him to keep on his track. "You can very easily make me kiss you," he finally says, "whether you like my cooking, or not."
Another lengthy pause follows. Then Tsuyoshi hears a muffled voice through the sheets.
"I do like it."
Tsuyoshi smiles. He once more bends forward to whisper into Koichi's ear.
"You know," he says in a low voice and just the slightest pressure of his hand brings Koichi's face back into his view as the other willingly moves around to face him again, "maybe we really should kiss..."




That said Tsuyoshi's hand moves very easily from Koichi's shoulder to his face to stroke it lovingly, before cupping it to keep it in place as he bends forward just that little bit to bring their lips into contact. Koichi jumps very slightly in surprise at the feeling of his first kiss. Well, strictly spoken he kissed before, as in lip contact. Just... shooting was really very different... from this. Tsuyoshi's lips are shy against his and Koichi doesn’t really know what to do either, so he just remains still. They stay like that for quite a while. It’s when Tsuyoshi draws back that Koichi whines his complaint and, wanting more of that contact, moves with Tsuyoshi to capture his lips again. The other stills at first, then slowly, carefully, starts to nip the soft lips that are lying on his. Koichi answers that by playing back. He feels his stomach flutter pleasantly as he realizes that they actually really are kissing. Feeling more daring he hugs Tsuyoshi close to his body, being rewarded by arms wrapping around his waist and stroking his back softly. He sighs in delight. So much better than he would have thought. They don't do much more that night, but even so they’ve fallen in love with the feeling so much, they don’t stop until they finally fell asleep in each other's arms.




~* end flashback *~




"That was our first kiss," Tsuyoshi explained, a sad smile on his face. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just miss him so much. Kissing him... Holding him..."
Next thing Tsuyoshi knew, he was being shoved onto his back, pinned, actually, with Koichi sitting on top of him, who then suddenly dipped down to press his lips onto Tsuyoshi's forcefully. Tsuyoshi first gasped, then held his breath. He gasped again when Koichi drew back, giving him an almost desperate look, before moving again to press their lips together yet again. This time Tsuyoshi remained his senses, though, and finally he brought a firm hand to Koichi's shoulder to press him back firmly.
"What are you doing?" he asked when his lips were finally free again.
"I just... want to understand," Koichi explained helplessly. "All the things that you are saying... they must be impossible. But then, when you love me… him so much… Can it even be that I feel... nothing? These past few days… I’ve been thinking a lot. You’ve been on my mind. It must be impossible, even now, but," he said, shaking his head. "How is it that it hurts to look at you like this? I can’t stand it when you’re crying. You’re confusing me. Why are you feeling like this when I don't kiss you? I just don't understand. Show me," he pleaded. "Make me see what it is."




Tsuyoshi looked at him for a while. Then he smiled.
"Close your eyes," he requested softly.
Koichi blinked at him.
"Are you... going to kiss me?" he asked.
"Just close your eyes," Tsuyoshi repeated.
And Koichi did. He felt Tsuyoshi shifting slightly under him and then there were lips against his, touching his very carefully. A hand moved to stroke the hair behind his ear affectionately, bringing their faces just a bit closer. Koichi let the feeling wash over him for a while, trying to understand what it did to him. While it didn't feel unpleasant, he could feel Tsuyoshi was wary, obviously scared to freak him out. So, when Tsuyoshi pulled back he merely looked back at watery eyes.




"You are... too much like him," Tsuyoshi said in a hoarse voice. "Too sweet... too caring. It's not like... you can force it. If you don't feel it."
Just as the other wanted to draw back completely, Koichi grasped his shoulder to pull him back.
"Kiss me like you kiss him," Koichi demanded. "Don't hold back. I want to feel it."
And finally Tsuyoshi was at his very limit. When being asked to, how could he resist kissing those lips? He rushed forward, bringing their lips together ardently this time, not with too much pressure, but with the love and passion that he really felt for Koichi. He didn't even debate with himself whether it was okay and simply went for frenching, which, much to his surprise didn't meet any complaints. Koichi, meanwhile, was overwhelmed with the mass of feelings thrown straight at him. Love, affection, need, passion, desperation... and the feeling of being treasured like nothing else in the world. And finally, he understood. He understood that he didn't need to understand when these feelings were so intense, so raw, so openly offered to him. With a sigh of longing he threw himself into the kiss, giving back just as he received.

________________________________________________________________________________________________


This is it for now. Sorry for the cliffhanger. ^^" It was just the perfect moment to close the scene. I hope you like it. Please look forward to the next chapters. It's just a few more weeks now until Koichi and Koichi have their chance to go back to their respective lives. How are they going to handle the time ahead? Check it out in the next chapter. :D

Chapter 6

Chapter 8